Exxxtra Credit
by Constable Paperbag
Summary: The end of year exams are coming up, and Jaune couldn't be more screwed. He can't study like everyone else and is likely doomed to repeat them later in the year. That is until he hears Glynda Goodwitch is marking them. With no other options left, he realises he must seduce her so she can boost his grades for him. Look out, Glynda - you're about to have a new favourite student.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello and welcome to this.**

 **A while ago, I proposed this idea to my friends and now they are forcing me to spew it out as quickly as possible, otherwise they'll beat me up. Over the internet. Scary stuff. As such, this story will be my main priority for the next few weeks. Plus, I kinda owe this to Imyoshi, as he was very kind enough to do the cover art for free. Now that is a man you don't wanna piss off. The guy eats babies. Right in front of their mothers. The RWBY fandom is full of savages.**

 **With that intro out of the way, please enjoy.**

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 **Cover art - Imyoshi**

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Even a school for superhuman hunters had a bit of normality to their education. For example - end of year exams.

Jaune thought he had escaped those once he broke free of his old civilian life and into the wondrous - if dangerous - walls of Beacon Academy. Apparently, even the prestigious hunter academy still valued the concept of cramming all its students into a sweaty exam hall, shoving a paper in front of their face, and demanding they complete it in a certain amount of time that was somehow never long enough.

Jaune couldn't understand why Beacon would embrace such a practice. They were hunters-in-training. They were better off fighting Grimm than they were stuck writing pointless papers. Unless there was a newly discovered Grimm that could only be defeated by understanding the entire history of the Faunus Revolution, he considered the whole thing useless in the grand scheme of things.

Unfortunately for him, the school didn't seem to agree with him. Summer had finally arrived, and rather than being able to enjoy the sun like anyone else, the teachers were drilling into their heads the importance of their upcoming tests. He and his team, along with Team RWBY, were trapped in the library surrounded by textbooks. Everyone was nose-deep in a book about a subject no doubt relating to one of their tests. Even Ruby and Nora seemed to be developing a scholarly mind as they studied hard.

He sighed. He had been staring at the same open pages for God knows how long now. None of the information was sinking in. If anything, he felt himself getting dumber the longer he looked at the words. They were starting to look more like meaningless squiggles on paper now than words. He couldn't even remember what the book he was reading was about. He flipped it over to see the cover.

 _Know Your Enemy: The Hunters Guide to Grimm_

Grimm studies? Great, he didn't even know what date that exam would be set. To ask someone now would be embarrassing. And really, why write a paper about Grimm when you could just hunt them down and kill them? Wasn't that more productive for a hunter? In the time it would take him to finish the paper, a Grimm could have easily infiltrated a village, caused havoc, killed all the residents, then leave before anyone noticed.

Congratulations, exam board! You just let a Borbatusk kill hundreds of people! Shame on you!

He heard his partner let out a loud yawn. She stretched her arms over her head, taking satisfaction in the way her joints popped. "All this studying is making me sleepy," she sighed.

Jaune smiled at her. "I dunno why you even bother with this," he told her. "You're already really smart. I reckon you can pass this without even needing to look at a book." It was a well-known fact that Pyrrha was genius in more than just combat. She was gifted in basically everything.

She blushed at the praise. "Well, being a little prepared beforehand never hurt." An idea crossed her mind and she clapped her hands together. "Anyway, why don't we both test each other? Let's see how much we've learned being cooped up in here."

Test each other? As in they weren't allowed to look at the books?

Uh oh.

"Aha, that's okay, Pyrrha," he laughed nervously, trying to hide the dread he was feeling. "You don't have to do that. There's no way you're gonna fail."

"That's kind of you to say, but I'd like to anyway," she insisted. "Come on, it'll be fun. Plus, it'll give you the chance to test your knowledge. It'll be beneficial for both of us."

Ah, but that was the problem, dear Pyrrha. For his dumbass hadn't learned anything from the two hours they had spent in here. She was better off testing the chair he was sitting on than him.

"Hehe… okay, fine," he relented. Let's get this humiliation over with. It's like ripping off a band-aid, Jaune. "Don't be surprised if I'm not very good, though."

"Nonsense, I'm sure you'll do fine," Pyrrha giggled. Sometimes, his partner had too much faith in him. She picked up the book he was reading, the one whose contents looked like gibberish to him now. She flicked through the pages for a moment before addressing him again. "Okay, name all seven weak points a Beowolf has."

Jaune blinked. "There's seven?" he said out loud. She raised an eyebrow at that. "I mean, of course there's seven," he hastily chuckled. Great, he had nearly compromised himself there. If he kept this up, the whole world would know of his idiocy. Even more than what it already did.

He started to concentrate. He only went for two weak spots when fighting a Beowolf; the chest and the neck. Though perhaps the arms and legs were also vulnerable areas to strike. That still only made four though. Even then, that was more than enough ways to know how to kill one.

"Do you want some more time to think?" Pyrrha politely asked him, waiting patiently for his thick head to come up with an answer. There was no point in it. He could only think of those spots.

"Could you give me a different question?" he suggested. Maybe he'd have better luck with the next one?

"Erm, okay," she said, flicking through the pages again. "Oh, this one should be easy. What is the airspeed velocity of an average Nevermore?"

She was absolutely right. That question was easy… if you were a freak obsessed with birds and math. Seriously, how was he supposed to know that? How did anyone know that? Were there really some extreme birdwatchers out there who spent all their time calculating how fast a giant killer bird flies? This world was a crazy place.

As he struggled to find an answer, he turned around to see he had acquired a small audience. Team RWBY and the rest of his team had put their books down to watch him suffer and the hands of a supporting Pyrrha. Ren, Weiss and Blake sighed at his confusion, whilst Nora, Ren and Yang tried to hide their giggles.

Okay, okay, calm down, Jaune. If this is a serious question, then you've obviously been told the answer before. You just gotta think.

"Um… very fast?" He heard Yang's snigger from behind him. It would seem that wasn't the correct answer. Figures.

"You have to be specific, Jaune," Pyrrha gently urged him.

Ugh, did he have to? This was hard enough as it was. He couldn't ask to skip that one too, because that would just confirm he didn't know anything. Not that he was doing a good job hiding that fact anyway.

"What he's trying to say, Pyrrha," Weiss spoke up, "is that he can't give you a real answer because he hasn't got one. The dunce hasn't a clue about any subject you test him on."

Weiss Schnee, ever the charmer. It was no surprise that she was the one to call him out on his stupidity. At least he hadn't had to pretend for long, although Yang, Ruby and Nora were laughing out loud now. At least Ren and Blake were still minding their own business.

"That's a little harsh, Weiss," Pyrrha tutted.

"I'm saying it for his own benefit," the heiress countered. "He isn't learning anything because he isn't taking his studying seriously. He has the book open, sure, but I doubt he's actually reading it. You can't accomplish anything if you're not committed, and he clearly is not."

Jaune grimaced. Why did she have to word the truth in the bluntest, hardest of ways? She might as well have been his mom. Hell, the girl was practically everyone's mom. It would explain why she had no time for bullshit or mincing her words.

"That's not true." Pyrrha was always quick to defend him. "I know Jaune is putting his all into passing the exams. Isn't that right, Jaune?" He didn't respond right away. "Jaune?" she repeated, this time with doubt in her voice.

Well, she wasn't completely wrong. He didn't want to fail, no. But at the same time, studying for something he didn't really believe in wasn't exactly high on his priority list. He wasn't nearly as passionate about books and studying as he was with combat practice.

"Jaune… you are taking this seriously, aren't you?" Pyrrha tried again.

He hated the way he was stringing her along, so it was time to cut the crap.

"I just think it's a waste of time," he sighed in a defeated manner. He could hear Weiss mutter something like 'I told you so' under her breath. "I mean seriously, do you really think we'll need to know even half of this stuff when we're out in the field? You have to agree that most of this is pointless."

If anyone agreed with his logic, they didn't speak up. To be fair though, they were doing the responsible thing and going back to studying. The only ones who weren't were himself, Weiss and Pyrrha, who was giving him a disappointed look.

This wasn't fair. He could study hard if he felt what they were learning was important. But if it was just pointless things like that, why bother? It made no sense.

"It doesn't matter if I agree with you or not, Jaune," his partner sighed. "What matters is you taking your studies seriously. Or else you'll have to take repeats."

"Then I'll fail those too," he shrugged. "I can't learn like this. All these books about facts and stuff... this isn't what being a hunter is about. I feel like I'm training to be a scientist or something."

"Hunters need to be more than just strong fighters," Pyrrha said. Now she was starting to sound like the team mom with the tone she was using. "Knowledge is power, Jaune. A sharp mind can be just as lethal as a sharp sword."

"Well, I wasn't planning to hit people with my mind anyway."

"This is serious," Pyrrha scolded. "Team leaders especially need to broaden their minds. You're already an effective leader now, but you can be even greater if you apply yourself. Don't think of this as just studying - think of it as a way to improve yourself."

Jaune struggled. That was a clever move on his partners part. He would do anything for his team. Anything. If studying for an exam would truly help them out, then he would.

But studying for one and passing one were two very different things. It didn't matter how long he stared at the pages. It was pointless if the knowledge wasn't sinking in. There was always that part of his brain telling him that what he was learning didn't matter. It was getting in the way of things.

"I'm trying. Really, I am," he insisted. "I just don't think I'm cut out for this kind of thing. Maybe I have a learning disability?"

"Laziness is not a disability," Pyrrha groaned.

Ouch, partner.

"I don't see what the issue with you is," Weiss tutted. "You've had to study for exams before. We all had to pass the entrance exam before our transcripts even got approved. How did you study for that?"

He gulped. That wasn't something he wanted to discuss with Weiss. Even Pyrrha looked slightly on edge from the question. One person knowing the truth was risky enough. He didn't need more people knowing.

"Don't worry about that," he quickly said, before looking back down at his books and groaning. "I'm not like you guys. I learn by doing, not by reading. There's gotta be another way for me."

"Well, until you find another method of improving your chances of passing, I'm afraid you'll have to study like the rest of us," Pyrrha said going back to her book. "If you want some study tips, I'd be more than willing to help you-"

Her voice sounded distant to him. He couldn't focus on it thanks to the sight before him.

Glynda Goodwitch.

At the far end of the room, he could see the blonde professor of combat practice renting out a book he couldn't quite get the name of due to his eyes being glued to her. She had her back to him, which was just as well, otherwise she would've been suspicious of the way he was looking at her.

Some might have thought he was ogling her, and he couldn't really blame them. She was an undeniable attractive woman. No one knew her age and no one was brave enough to ask, but her face and body looked untouched by the hands of time. She would've captured the hearts of many of the male students if it weren't for her attitude. She was as strict as she was beautiful.

But it wasn't her good looks that caught his attention. Ideas were forming in his head. He could feel the rusty cogs in his brain slowly begin to turn again.

"Pyrrha," he said carefully. "Who is it that's marking our papers again?"

"Hm? I think it's Professor Goodwitch this year," his partner ever so helpfully said. "Does it matter?"

"I guess you could say that," he said cryptically. The professor had finished getting her book out and walked down the hallway. His eyes trailed her as she left the library. The sparks of his genius crackled in his head with every step she took.

"Oof, then you're in for a rough time, Vomit Boy," he heard Yang say. "Professor G hates your guts."

Any other time he would've argued how over exaggerated that statement was, but he was beyond Yang's teasing now. The drowsiness that came from his failed attempts at studying had left him. Now he was wide awake and full of energy.

What was it Weiss had asked? How had he passed the entry exams to Beacon? The same way he got through most things - by cheating. He was a master at it. Criminals like Roman Torchwick would blush at his ability to bend the rules to his favour.

It all made sense now. The solution was staring at him right in the face. He couldn't study because he wasn't a studier. He was a cheater. He had always been a cheater. If he wanted to pass, he just needed to do a little more cheating.

And he knew exactly how he would do it.

"You're looking happy all of a sudden," Weiss noted. It had only just dawned on him that a small smile had formed on his face as he concocted his plan. Thankfully he hadn't gotten too excited, otherwise he could've been grinning like an idiot.

"Yeah, I'm feeling a bit better now," he said. There was nothing quite like the feel of a good plan. No wonder Ozpin had made him leader - his craftiness was unparalleled.

"Let me guess: you've finally discovered a way to pass without studying?" she sighed, sounding almost bored with the whole thing. If only she knew the genius going on all around her.

He smiled at her. "All you need to know is that I won't be failing anything."

"That's the spirit, Jaune," Pyrrha said encouragingly. "So are you ready to start taking your studies seriously? I'd be more than happy to help you."

So close, yet so far. No, he wouldn't be doing any studying to pass his exams. There was only one question he needed answering: how was he gonna cheat his exams and still get a good grade? And he had just figured out the solution.

Glynda Goodwitch had left the library, but their business together was far from over. He had to make sure what Pyrrha said was true about Goodwitch - or _Glynda_ , as he'd soon be calling her - marking the exams. If it was, he could initiate phase one.

Yang said Goodwitch couldn't stand him? Well, maybe for the moment. But soon those feelings would change. Her feelings for him would change from annoyance to pure, unyielding lust and desire. She'd want to do anything to make him happy. Like, say… change his grades from D's to A+'s?

There was no other choice. It was the only way.

He was gonna seduce Glynda Goodwitch and make her boost his grades.

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 **Chapter 1 is done, and chapter 2 should be nearly finished if my fever clears up.**

 **I want this to be a short and snappy story, so expect regular updates with chapters that likely won't be as long as what I normally write.**

 **As we can see, Jaune has correctly identified the easiest way to pass his exams. Will he succeed in his womanizing ways? How does Glynda hope to stand against the advancements of a smooth pimp-daddy like Jaune? Will Ruby ever ask about her silver eyes?**

 **Find out next time on Exxxtra Credit.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 is here. Let's see what our dear little Casanova is getting up to. He's single, ladies.**

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 **Cover art - Imyoshi**

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Teaching was a fulfilling occupation. As in, it filled up one's time to the point where you had little to no energy left when the day finally ended. Lessons had to be planned, paperwork was seemingly endless, and the children… oh Gods, the children at times.

Glynda Goodwitch was a woman without regrets. All her life, she knew she wanted to become a huntress. From the moment she first saw their heroics on the television, she knew that it was her destiny to join them in defending mankind. Becoming a teacher for the next generation of hunters had been an unexpected turn of events, but not an unwelcome one. She was a fierce and capable fighter, and now she had the opportunity to teach others to be just as strong as her. Needless to say, it was a life well-lived.

That wasn't to say it didn't get tiring at times, though.

She sometimes felt she didn't get nearly enough holidays as what she deserved for the work she was given. It was an unspoken fact that she was the hardest working teacher in the school - hence why _she_ was the one marking the exam papers this year. Peter and Bartholomew had conveniently taken a scouting mission during around the time the students would be graded, and Ozpin often pulled the 'headmaster card' as it were, claiming he had more important responsibilities. She had deep respect for the man, but she couldn't remember the last time he touched any sort of paperwork. Sometimes he was too mysterious for his own good.

That left only her left to pick up the pieces.

Speaking of paperwork and exams, a short sigh left her as she carried on with the ones before her. Sitting in her private office, she was currently marking a practice test the second years had taken for their own exams. Each paper had to be checked over twice to ensure she was giving the correct mark, and feedback had to be given - feedback that they likely wouldn't read, as most students just looked at their mark and moved on.

She could feel her head throbbing uncomfortably from the workload. She would not complain. She was too proud for that. But looking at all these papers reminded her how much she missed fieldwork. Being combat instructor kept her in the academy most of the time, so she didn't get to go out on hunts as often as she would've liked. As important as her current work was, she missed the thrill. The excitement. It had been too long since she felt any kind of adrenaline flowing through her veins.

A small sigh escaped her. She craved a distraction. Just once did she want to feel some excitement in her life again.

Her musings were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Come in," she called out. She hoped it wasn't something urgent. She had a lot of work to do and she wanted it done as quickly as possible.

The door opened to reveal Jaune Arc. She sighed again, though this time internally. Yet another thing she needed to work on. Arguably the worst fighter in the school, it was amazing how he hadn't been devoured by a Grimm yet, or fallen victim to his own clumsiness. Whilst certainly not a bad person, he had yet to meet most of the academy's expectations.

"How can I help you, Mr Arc?" Did they have an appointment she was unaware of? Unlikely, considering how organised she was. Yet that was the only reason she could think of that would explain this unexpected visit.

"Ah, Professor Goodwitch. I thought I might find you here." In her office? Yes, that was usually where she was stationed. "It's always a pleasure to see you. I gotta say, you're looking lovely today."

"That's nice of you to say," she said, brushing past the compliment. She was a little too busy to accept them.

"I'm serious, that's a good look for you." And apparently, he was free enough to keep giving them. "Have you done something with your hair?"

"My hair?" She had tied it back in the style she always wore at work. "I've done nothing different with it, no."

"Of course you haven't. There's no need to," he beamed. "After all, how can you improve on something that's already perfect? You already make most of the girls here jealous. If it looked any better, they'd all shave themselves bald in shame."

Um… pardon? Glynda frowned at the bizarre compliment the boy had given her. Come to think of it, he was being unusually praising towards her. She had never received this kind of treatment from him.

Well, whatever it was, it wasn't something she had time to think about. She had too much work to do and too little time to do it.

"That seems a little… extreme," she said, choosing her words carefully. "But thank you for the compliment. Now then, is there something I can help you with?"

He grinned. "I was hoping you'd ask me that."

She did. Twice. Could he please hurry things up?

He walked slowly into her office and looked at one of the bookshelves. For some reason, he took one of the books out and started flipping through the pages, humming and nodding as if he were reading it. He didn't even look at the name of the book he had opened.

"You see, Professor, I'm here to report a crime," he said. "Recently, something's been stolen from me. Something that's very important to me that I can't live without. It's quite a serious problem, as you can see."

It didn't sound that serious since he didn't even look up from the book that he was so obviously not reading. For such a supposedly serious problem, he was acting strangely carefree. And what was with the way he was speaking? It was like he was trying to make his voice sound deeper for some reason. It was bizarre.

Still, what he said did peak her interest. "Something stolen from you, you say?" she asked him. Theft was a very serious matter, as Beacon frowned severally on all types of crime. "Before we conduct an investigation, have you checked lost property? Whatever's missing might be there."

"Oh no, it won't be there," he chuckled. "It's not that kind of possession. It's deeper than that. What's been stolen from me, Professor Goodwitch," he closed the book and finally looked back at her, "is my heart."

Glynda blinked. For the second time since he enrolled into Beacon, Jaune Arc had managed to surprise her. The first time was when she discovered how dreadful he was at fighting.

"Excuse me?" she said. She knew her eyesight wasn't the best, but she was beginning to think she needed her hearing checked too.

"That's right. It was stolen from me the moment I stepped foot in this school. By a woman." A small, cocky grin formed on his face as he walked slowly closer. He casually threw the book over his shoulder, and it was only her semblance that prevented it from hitting the floor. "She took it from me with just a look in her eyes. I didn't even know it was gone until she walked out of sight."

Glynda didn't know what to make of the situation. "Mr Arc, are you having relationship problems?" She was aware that he had something of a crush on Ms Schnee. "I'm afraid I can't help you with that. If you need counselling in such matters, I recommend talking to Professor Peach-"

He actually cut her off by placing a finger on her lips. Her emerald eyes widened as she looked at the digit silencing her. It was a good thing he pulled it away quickly enough because she was sourly tempting to snap at it for his nerve.

"Why get more people involved, when we can settle this between us?" he smiled mischievously. "You know what they say about three being a crowd, right? Besides, I like it when we're alone together."

She could feel the painful throb in her head returning. "You're trying my patience, Mr Arc," she said as calmly as she could. "I have a lot of work to do and you're wasting my time. Now tell me what this is all about, otherwise I demand you leave my office immediately."

"Firm and to the point. You really are incredible, Professor. Fine, I'll make this quick." He looked away from her again and began walking to the side, allowing his fingers to glide along her desk as he walked. "You see, it takes a special kind of woman to steal something that valuable to me. A woman with gorgeous green eyes and hair as bright as the morning sun. Oh, and nice legs. I dig those."

As she was being made painfully aware of her student's preferences in a woman, Jaune walked passed the desk and moved closer into her personal space. He was close enough that she had to crane her neck up to look at him. This was getting too ridiculous for her to tolerate.

"I warned you about wasting my time," she sighed irritably. "Leave my office this instant before I-"

She gasped when a sudden weight landed in her lap.

Her glasses did not deceive her. Her eyes were too wide open to be fooled. Jaune Arc, her student, had just sat himself down in her lap. Resting his entire body weight on her, he had positioned himself so that he was directly facing her. From the smile on his face, he looked quite comfortable where he was and didn't look like he planned to leave anytime soon.

If Glynda had a mirror right now, she would've seen the absolutely dumbfounded look on her face. She had been a huntress for a very long time, so there wasn't a lot that could shock her. She recently thought herself immune to the element of surprise. Yet she couldn't even form words as this boy casually planted himself on her. Her jaw was left hanging open as her wide eyes stared up at him.

"Has anyone ever told you how incredible you look in combat class?" Jaune whispered. "Because you do. The way you wave your crop around and how you give some of us detentions - it drives me crazy." His fingers brushed some of her hair behind her ear. " _You_ drive me crazy."

"M-M-Mr Arc…" That was all her suspended jaw could come out with. Her brain was short-circuiting trying to comprehend just what in all the kingdoms was going on right now.

"Normally I don't like getting robbed, but in this case I'll make an exception." There was a dangerous light glowing behind those eyes of his. "I'm willing to compromise here. I'll let you keep half of my heart, as long as I get half of yours. I want to know you, Professor. I want to know the woman behind the glasses and hair buns."

As if to prove his point, he removed her glasses and undid the bun in her hair, letting it flow freely past her shoulders. Her arms limp at her side, she couldn't do anything to stop him.

"So what do you say, Professor? How about you put your half into mine, and we become whole?" He blew into her face when saying the last part, and her nostrils were assaulted by the overpowering scent of mint coming from his breath. It was like an Atlesian winter was brewing in his mouth.

His chilly breath helped her snap temporarily out of her dumbfounded stupor and regain control of her arms. It wasn't full control - they were still a little shaky - but it was enough. Enough for her to hold her riding crop. Enough for her to get a feel for her semblance again.

He didn't see the door suddenly swing open behind him. But he did notice his body start to be covered in a purple glow.

And then she saw his eyes open as wide as hers.

[/]

There had been only two times in his life where Jaune had been sent flying through the air. The first one was during initiation when he was catapulted off a cliff, and the second one was now.

He hurtled through the hallways at the speed of a bullet as Goodwitch threw him out of her office. It had been going so well, too. He had left her speechless with his advancements. That was already more progress than what he had with Weiss. Maybe he should've complimented her glasses more? They were obviously her defining feature.

His thought process ended when he finally descended. His body skidded face-first against the floor and didn't stop until his head crashed into the wall. When he stood up on shaking legs, he had the taste of carpet on his tongue and his face was covered with a bright-red burn mark.

Okay, that hadn't been the best first impression. But at least it was a memorable one. No doubt this would be something they could laugh over during one of their eventual dinner dates. Glynda Goodwitch was gonna thank the day Jaune Arc walked through her door. He would try his luck next time, but first he needed to recover.

He wobbled his way back to his team's dorm, who were all waiting for him inside. Their reactions upon seeing his frazzled state were varied - Pyrrha put her face in her hand, Ren sighed and shook his head, and Nora burst into a fit of giggles. Ever the supportive team, they were.

"Was it something I said?" he asked them.

"Knowing you, Jaune? Almost certainly," Ren sighed, coming over to check if he was okay.

"Aw man, I wish was there!" Nora roared, rolling on her bed laughing. "Geez, Jaune, look at yourself. What did you do to her, try to kiss her? Oh please tell me you tried that. Haha, I'm gonna pee!"

"Nora, as your leader, I say that's a very unsupportive attitude you've got there," Jaune said, sitting down on his bed and holding on to what dignity he had left.

In hindsight, he should've known this would happen when he told his team and Team RWBY about his plan. Why couldn't they see the genius behind it?

"Unsupportive?" Nora cackled. "No, I'm totally down for you doing this. This is the funniest thing I've seen all day." She fell off the bed and continued laughing on the floor.

"Please don't encourage him, Nora," Ren said to his friend who was giggling like a hyena. He turned back to Jaune. "Seriously, Jaune, I don't understand your mindset here. How is this easier than just simply studying?"

"Don't you start too, Ren," Jaune said. He had enough people telling him his plan wouldn't work as it was. Blake even promised to write a book on all the ways it wouldn't work. Everyone was a critic these days. "This is the only chance I've got at passing these exams, you know this."

"All I know is that you're never gonna convince a thirty-something-year-old woman to fall for you. She's twice your age and your teacher. She's never going to be interested."

"She's so ancient!" Nora laughed and then started cheering, "Jauney's got the hots for old people!"

Jaune immediately stood up. "Alright, that's enough," he said with authority in his voice. "You're speaking about the woman I love, Nora. Show her some respect."

"You're not in love with her!" Ren cried.

"No, but I have to act like I am," he explained. "How am I supposed to win her over if she doesn't think I'm serious?"

Ren rolled his eyes. "You're _never_ going to win her over. Think about it: why would she choose a student over someone her own age? You have nothing in common, and she could lose her job doing that."

Jaune sat back down and gently put his hand on Ren's shoulder. "Tell me, Ren," he said in a tone his father would use when trying to comfort him, "have you ever been in love?"

Ren blinked. "Have I what?"

"Because I have," he continued. "And when your mind is clouded by that wonderful emotion, let me tell you nothing else matters. All that matters is your partner. Their happiness, their smile, even their scent become your entire world. You hold their hand, and you feel like complete. You sleep and dream of them, only for the dream to continue when you wake up to them by your side. To live without the other is not living - it's torture. For although your body survives, your heart breaks without the other half to complete it."

He patted his friend and brother on the back. "This is how I'm gonna make her feel about me. This is what love does to people, Ren. It's beautiful."

"And you know this how?" Ren asked with a raised eyebrow. "Have you ever been in love before?"

"I dabble."

Ren rolled his eyes again. "I still say your plan will fail."

Drat. He thought that would convince him. It wasn't like he had said it wrong - he had memorized that paragraph from one of Blake's books perfectly. He had borrowed it when looking for some tips on seduction. If only he had it when trying to win over Weiss. The girl would've easily been his.

But he was done chasing girls now. He wanted a woman. That was already proof that he and Goodwitch had something in common - he was mature himself.

"Alright. Two teammates down, one to go," he looked to his partner for support. "Come on, Pyrrha. You think I can get Goodwitch to fall for me, don't you?"

Pyrrha looked conflicted when she looked at him, tired as she looked like she was struggling to find the right words. Her lips formed into a tight, sad smile.

"Jaune, be honest with me… how do you expect me to answer that?" she said gently.

Jaune gasped and put a hand over his heart. He fell off the bed and onto his knees. "The entire team? The entire team turns against me?" he whispered. "Is this mutiny I'm feeling? Is this what it looks like?"

"I'm sorry, Jaune, but Ren is right," she sighed. "I just don't see how a seventeen-year-old boy could ever hope to seduce a teacher at least in her thirties. It's ridiculous."

The soul-crushing weight of betrayal left him defeated on the floor. Any more negativity in this room and Grimm would start jumping through the window to say hi. Maybe they could have one of them as a leader if they liked being such negative party-poopers.

"I thought you believed in me," he moaned like the drama king he was - as in, his acting was top notch and would be able to win over Goodwitch in no time. "You were always supportive when I was trying to get with Weiss. As long as I was honest, you said I always had a chance."

"Well, yes, but this is different," Pyrrha said. "Weiss is a teenager. Professor Goodwitch is a grown woman. Sometimes there are boundaries you must accept. And really, you're not being honest. You're just doing this so she can boost your grades."

"Hey, I'm very honest about wanting my grades boosted!" he cried.

"And yet you think this is the best way to make them higher." She shook her head sadly. To her credit, she seemed like the only one sad about disagreeing with him. "I'm sorry, Jaune, but this is never going to work. The only hope you have of passing is by studying like everyone else."

Oh no, not this again.

How could he explain this to his friends - he was not a studier! You can't teach a horse to fly, and you can't teach him anything by putting a book in front of him. It was hard to get the point across to any of his friends since they all thought seducing Goodwitch was just his idiotic excuse to be lazy.

That hurt. Jaune Arc was neither idiotic nor lazy. He just knew how to work with what he knew. And if there were two things he knew in life, it was cheating and women. He had the mind of a hunter and the soul of a pirate. He was basically every bad boy fantasy girls had.

"Nice try, but I'm not giving up that easily, Pyr," he said, standing up to address his entire team. It was time for them to see just how confident their fearless leader was. "Just because I got rejected today doesn't mean it's gonna happen again. I just gotta change my approach next time."

"Yeah, clearly. Cause you look like she threw you under a bus," Nora giggled. "Seriously, what did you even say to her?"

Jaune paled. "T-That's none of your business," he stammered. He was teased enough as it was. He believed in his plan, but he could do without the jokes from his friends. "Point is, I'll find a way to make her mine. I just need a new strategy."

He thought back to his previous attempt. It had been a while since he had acted on his dad's advice on just needing confidence to get a girl. Goodwitch was a grown woman, so he figured he had to be twice as confident as before. Cute little nicknames certainly weren't gonna cut it with her.

Though, perhaps he had been _too_ confident this time. He had tried to rush to the finish line before even warming up. He needed to take things slow. He needed to give her a reason to be attracted to him before he started putting the moves on her.

But what? What could he do?

Suddenly, the sparks of genius crackled in his mind again. His eyes lit up with determination. "I got it!" he announced.

Before his team could ask what was happening, he grabbed his sports bag from his wardrobe and rushed into the bathroom. When he emerged again, he was dressed in his gym outfit - which consisted of a white t-shirt, grey tracksuit bottoms and running shoes.

"And why are you dressed like that?" Ren asked.

Jaune appreciated his team's curiosity. It gave him a chance to explain his genius.

"Goodwitch is the combat professor, right?" He got a nod from all of them. "Well, if I'm gonna impress her, I gotta show her how strong I am. Once she sees what a great fighter I am, she'll be smitten with me. It's perfect."

None of them seemed convinced. In fact, dare he say, they seemed doubtful. Nora looked like she was on the verge of bursting out laughing again, covering her mouth with her hand.

"I don't think that's how it works, Jaune," Pyrrha began.

"No, no, no, it'll be great," he insisted. "Look, the reason why I failed this time is because I did nothing but talk. She's clearly a woman who prefers strength over words. If I strut my stuff to her, she'll be over me in no time."

"Your… stuff?"

"Yeah, you know. My muscles, my abs. That sort of thing." He did a quick flex to demonstrate.

"Right…"

Jaune didn't like the way they were all now eyeing his body. It was like they were looking for something that wasn't there. They were clearly just trying to undermine him to get him to study.

Never!

"Anyway, I'm gonna go for a jog now." He had to be looking sharp if this was gonna work. He turned his back to his doubtful friends and headed towards the door.

He would leave Goodwitch alone today. He was smart to know that he shouldn't try his luck with someone on the same day. He had done that with Weiss before and it never ended well. In a way, he was taking all his past failures with her and learning from them. It was brilliant, really.

When this worked, he'd have to do something to thank Weiss for her patience. Or would that be mistaken for flirting with her? He didn't want to make Goodwitch jealous.

"Don't get lost," he heard Pyrrha call out, followed by a snigger from Nora.

Mutineers! All of them!

He closed the door behind him and began to lightly jog down the hallway. The next time Goodwitch saw his fighting power, she wouldn't be able to control herself. He could see her face now; jaw hanging open, hearts in her eyes, cheeks blushing like crazy. It was only a matter of time.

"No running in the halls!" came the sharp voice of the hall monitor.

He power-walked the rest of the way out of Beacon.

* * *

 **Finished. That's English for 'finished'.**

 **Big surprise - Jaune's first attempt was a dud. Don't know who expected otherwise. An unfortunate start for the lad, but a hunter is not without his fighting spirit. At least he's already back on his feet.**

 **Will this new plan fail like the first? Will Goodwitch notice him for the hunk he is? Will we ever find out why the women in the show never seem to age?**

 **Find out next time on Exxxtra Credit.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I saw a cat deliver a dead mouse to its owner today. If my cat did that, I'd be pissed. When's the last time you've seen me eat a mouse? If you wanna give me dead animals, go down to the butchers and get me a steak or something. Screw it, just bring back the whole cow, I don't care.**

* * *

 **Cover art - Imyoshi**

* * *

Glynda didn't know what to expect as she made her way towards the training room, but she was already fearing the worst.

Her head was still spinning from trying to make sense of Jaune Arc's little… _performance_ in her office yesterday. She had created theory after theory deducing what could have compelled him to act that way.

Was it a prank? A dare from one of his friends? That didn't seem to be the case - they were the only two people in the room, and she didn't see anyone following him when she threw him out of her office. What good was daring someone to do something if you couldn't see them do it? Not to mention the boy seemed really passionate about what he was doing, far too much so for it to be a simple joke.

Whatever it was, it had left her bewildered and confused, so much so that she had failed to finish those papers. She would've given him a detention for such behaviour, but she was beginning to think he had a mental disability of some kind. How do you punish something like that? Were you even supposed to? She had decided to just let the matter drop and hope things would work themselves out.

Which is why she wasn't too thrilled to receive a text message from him asking her to meet him in the training room.

She muttered a curse under her breath when she finally arrived. She really didn't want to be here. It wasn't as if she was scared of the boy, although their last encounter had genuinely left her speechless. She just didn't want another headache today. She was behind schedule with her paperwork as it was, she didn't need his antics getting in the way.

Paperwork _and_ Jaune Arc on the same day…

It was a miracle her hair wasn't as grey as Ozpin's right now…

She opened the doors and saw the peculiar boy standing in the centre of the ring. He was facing off against some sparing bots and seemed to be handling himself well enough. For some reason he had his shirt and armour off, exposing his bare chest to the world, or at least to her.

"Hhragh! Rrragh!" With each swing of his sword, the boy followed it up with an overly loud grunt. He wasn't even swinging that hard, yet he was still roaring at the top of his lungs. Perhaps he thought he'd impress someone the louder he was.

The bots weren't convinced and neither was she.

"Ahem," she coughed loudly, signalling her arrival to him. Whatever he wanted, it had better be important.

He twirled around and his eyes lit up when he saw her. The tired look on his face was gone, and a cocky smile similar to yesterday began to stretch across his lips. She braced herself for the worst.

"Professor Goodwitch," he grinned, swinging his sword over his shoulder. "Well, this is an unexpected surprise."

No. No, it wasn't.

"You asked me to come here, Mr Arc," she deadpanned, pulling out her scroll and the message he sent her. "You said and I quote, 'please come to the training room at one o'clock, cause I've got something super urgent to show you. It involves training and stuff.'"

"And you came anyway? I'm touched, Professor. See, I knew we had a connection."

"Get to the point, Mr Arc," she growled, sitting down in one of the chairs. His casual attitude was getting on her nerves, especially since she had so much work to do. "You better have a good reason for dragging me out of my office. What are we doing here? What is it you want to show me?" She cocked her head. "And why are you shirtless?"

"Whoa, so many questions, Professor," he chuckled, holding out his hands as if he were defending himself. "You've gotta give me a chance to breathe. I've just got done with an hour-long training session."

"Then answer the first one - what are we doing here?"

He smiled again and walked around the ring with a little bit of swagger in his step. He causally twirled his sword and kicked one of the bots when he passed it. The hard metal obviously hurt his foot and he did his best to ignore it, but she caught the newly added limp in his step.

Drugs. The boy had to be on drugs. That was her only other theory. Once she found evidence of this she'd confiscate them, but not before helping herself to a few. After dealing with him and her workload, she had a feeling she was gonna need them.

"I know what a lot of you think," he continued. "You think I'm the worst fighter here. That it's only through luck that I've managed to survive this long. And a while ago, you may have been right." He turned his head to her. "But now… well, let's just say things have changed."

Was she not clear the first time? Or maybe he just didn't know what 'get to the point' meant.

"I'm in no mood for suspense, Mr Arc. What's this all leading up to?" she sighed, taking off her glasses and rubbing her eyes. "Are you telling me you've gotten stronger since then?"

He smiled so widely, she could count all of his teeth that looked like they had recently been whitened. "Well, I could tell you that," he beamed. "But I'd rather show than tell. And I want you to be the first one to witness it. Lucky you."

Not the phrase she'd use to describe herself right now.

"Mr Arc, your last combat session was four days ago," she reminded him. It had gone much the same as his previous matches. "Whilst I admire your confidence, you've still a long way to go. Four days isn't enough time to make any significant improvements."

It had taken him almost half the year to beat one person. Jaune Arc was a slow learner, whether he wanted to admit it or not. No doubt he would be a capable fighter in time, but certainly not overnight.

The boy laughed as if she had made some sort of joke. It was as loud and boisterous like his grunting from earlier. "That was the old me, Glynda. Can I call you Glynda?"

"You can not."

"Right, right, Professor Goodwitch then. As I was saying, I've come a long way since I first arrived here. I've been working out every second I have free. You may have heard, but I went out for a jog yesterday."

The way he said that it was obvious he was proud of himself. The boy wouldn't stop grinning like a loon.

"A jog?" she said in a bored voice.

His shrugged and proudly brushed his hair back. "I don't like to brag, but yeah."

"Go anywhere far?"

"Oh, you know, just around Beacon a few times. Only stopped to catch my breath seven times. Not a big deal."

The painful throb returned at full force. How she wished she could go for a jog right now - far, far away from Beacon, from her work, and from this ludicrous child. She'd take an army of Goliaths over this anytime.

"Well, clearly this jog of yours has had some positive effect on you," she said, gesturing to the arena. "You seem to have made quick work with these bots." She had said the words sarcastically, but knowing him, her tone would go over his head.

Lo and behold, it did. He looked behind him like he forgot all those bots were there and laughed. "Oh, you mean these? Yeah, this is just a little warm up. Normally I'd be fighting ten Ursas or whatever, but I'll stick with these for the demonstration."

She raised an eyebrow. "Demonstration?"

"Why do you think I called you here? I'm gonna show you how strong I am by taking on some of these training bots."

She sat back in her chair and observed him carefully. The boy stood before her glowing with confidence. A far cry from what he usually was - awkward and unsure of himself.

"You're not usually this eager, Mr Arc," she murmured. "What's changed?"

He shrugged. "What can I say, Professor? I guess you just bring out the best in me."

"I see..."

Oh, fine then. It was a teacher's job to observe the progress of her students, was it not? If he wanted to prove himself so badly to her, so be it. Who knows, maybe he had made actual progress?

"Very well, show me what you have learned," she said. The boy looked elated from her approval. "But before you do, you haven't answered my last question - why are you shirtless?"

He looked down at his exposed chest and smiled. "Can you blame me? It was getting sweaty under my armour. I thought I'd take it off for a while." He ran his hands slowly over his body. "It's not distracting, is it?" he finished with a wink.

"It's impractical," she said. "You can't fight so exposed when in the field. You'd be ripped to pieces without proper protection."

"That's what aura's for. Besides, this isn't a real fight. I thought I'd give you a show and show you what I've got. _All_ of what I've got."

He suddenly tensed his body hard, flexing his arms and striking up a pose. He went red in the face from how hard he was tensing. He probably thought he looked impressive.

To Glynda, he looked constipated.

"Put on your armour, Mr Arc. If you won't take this seriously, I'll leave."

That warning made him stop his little display. He grumbled something under his breath about how he thought that would work as he put his armour back on. He also muttered something about his jog again. The boy grew stranger every passing day.

Once he was clothed, he swung his weapons dramatically and assumed a fighting stance. She didn't know who had taught him his stance, but it was probably a comic book superhero from the look of him. He had his chest puffed out, his feet were too far apart, and he wouldn't lose that smile.

"Stand back, Professor," he grinned, looking back at her. "This might get dangerous. I would hate to see you get hurt."

"I'm going to turn on the bots now, Mr Arc," she said, ignoring him. "Begin when ready."

"I was born ready."

We'll see.

She went to the control panel and activated the training bots. Several new ones rose from the ground and attacked him on sight. In truth, she wasn't expecting this to last long. But he had insisted he had made progress, so she was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he failed, she would just tell him what he needed to improve on.

To her surprise, he was handling himself quite well. Whenever a bot attacked him, he blocked it with good timing and disposed of it - whether through cutting off its head or simply slashing at it until it stopped moving. He moved with purpose, his attacks were focused. He was doing really well.

Glynda shifted her glasses upward as she watched the display. Well, alright then. She was willing to admit she had been too quick to assume. The boy seemed to have a firmer grasp on the basics of combat than what he did before. He still had much to learn, and it was unclear how he would face against a human opponent, but he was dispatching these bots easily enough. There was hope for him yet.

And then she turned her attention from him to the bots. Her eyes squinted. Something wasn't right. They were moving too slowly, their attacks were too telegraphed. And she could've sworn they were installed with lasers and small missiles now. Why weren't they using them?

She looked down at the control panel and immediately saw the problem. He had the difficulty level for them set to 1, the easiest level. Now everything made sense - he was fighting them on the easiest settings. He wouldn't even need to try fighting them. On this level, you could easily beat them by just pushing them over.

She looked up at the boy who was still hacking and slashing away. This was no challenge for a huntsman-in-training. If he wanted to show he had improved, he was gonna have to push himself harder. Right now, this was mere child's play.

She turned the dial to 8 - the standard difficulty for her students.

The bots immediately halted and turned their heads to Jaune. The boy in the ring looked confused. No doubt he was wondering why they had stopped. He became a little nervous from how motionless they were.

Suddenly, their eyes glowed red and their missile compartments opened.

He gulped. At least he was wearing his armour now.

[/]

Jaune Arc couldn't remember much of what happened. It had all happened so fast. One minute he was the king of Goodwitch Mountain, the next he was running for his life and avoiding explosions.

Explosions. So many explosions. What sick bastard equipped training bots with missiles and lasers? Who did they think they were fighting, aliens? He had enough PTSD to make him a seasoned veteran hunter now. Sign him up for the big leagues, he was going in crazy!

He didn't know who had taken him to the infirmary, but whoever did was in his debt forever. If it was Goodwitch, well, she was eventually going to become his lover. As far as he was concerned, that was a reward in of itself.

Unfortunately, not even he could seduce someone in his current state. He was covered in ash and bruises from his little tussle with the homicidal training bots. It was impossible to see his muscular chest over the thick bandages over his torso, and he couldn't feel most of his limbs. Aura would heal him quickly, but for now, he was confined to a little bed with nothing to do except recover.

Word had travelled quickly about what happened to him to his friends. When they saw his crippled and dirty state, they gave him the best bedside manner they knew how.

" _Hahaha, this is even better than yesterday!"_

" _You look like a noodle wrapped in toilet paper, Vomit Boy!"_

" _Can't exactly sweep her off her feet with broken arms."_

" _Guys, we shouldn't make fun of… pfft, I can't help it. Sorry, Jaune."_

Such kind friends he had. He would've argued, but his mouth felt loose due to all the painkillers they were pumping him with. He could just about groan and mumble, but that was it. He endured all their mockery with drool on his chin and his head in the clouds.

Speaking of which, he felt the medicine begin to kick in again. Sleepy Jaune was getting sleepy again. The doctor said he'd be better in the morning. Guess that meant he had to rest.

The world turned dark. His eyelids drooped. No more robots. No more friends.

Just sleep…

[/]

 _SPLASH!_

"Bwuh? Wha-what?" Jaune awoke with a gasp as a biting chill took hold of him. He was soaked, covered head to toe in ice-water that had his entire body rattling. With even his bed sheets drenched, he could do nothing but shiver as he tried figuring out what the hell happened.

"Ah, I thought that might do the trick," came a voice beside him.

Jaune's eyes darted around the dark infirmary wing. It had been afternoon when he had slept, but now it was the dead of night. Sitting by his bedside was a silhouette of what looked like a girl. The clouds parted, and the moonlight shining in through the window revealed the girl to be Weiss.

She was sitting casually with one leg crossed over the other. She was drinking a cup of tea and judging from the steam rising from it, it was a million times hotter than him. How he wished she would just throw it all over him, cup and all.

"W-W-Weiss?" he shivered, his teeth chattering in his mouth. "W-What's g-g-g-going on?"

"What's going on is that I've been sitting here patiently for the past thirty minutes waiting for you to wake up. The least you can do is be a little courteous and listen to me."

"W-Why am I wet?" A nightly visit from Weiss didn't change the fact he was soaked to the bone. "I-Is there a l-l-leak?"

"Not quite. I just threw some water over you."

She did what? His eyes trailed down, and there was an empty bucket beside her feet. Small droplets of water dripped from the rim of it.

"W-What? Why would you do that?"

"To wake you up, of course. Why else would I do it?"

"W-Why didn't you just slap me awake or s-s-something?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting I should strike an unconscious patient? Really, Jaune, I thought you knew me better than that."

"Weiss, seriously, I t-think I'm gonna g-g-get pneumonia from this."

"Stop being such a drama queen and listen."

She finished her deliciously hot tea and stood up in front of his bed. Even in the dark, he could feel her icy gaze upon him. That said, he felt ice all around him at the moment.

"I've been paying attention to your attempted flirts with Professor Goodwitch," she said. "They're going about as well as I expected. I'm just surprised she hasn't reported you for your blatant harassment. My guess is she doesn't realise you're even flirting with her because your efforts are so abysmal."

It was hard to pay attention to this when Jaune's blood was turning to ice in his veins. "Is that what this is about? You poured ice-water over me to call me a terrible flirt? Weiss, can't this wait until morning?"

She shook her head. "Absolutely not. There'd be too many witnesses. I don't want anyone seeing me offering to help you."

Jaune's shaking briefly came to a stop. "What are you talking about?"

Before Weiss answered, she went back to her tea set, poured another cup for herself, and stood back in front of his bed. She closed her eyes and took a long dramatic sip of it and let out a pleasant sigh when she was done. She looked impressive under the moonlight, but Jaune wondered if she would've looked as dramatic if this was the afternoon.

"I'm here to make you an offer, Jaune. And before you get too excited, let me make very clear that this is strictly a _business_ offer. As long as you understand that… I will teach you how to seduce our professor."

Jaune's heart skipped a beat. Perhaps it was the rude awakening and unrelenting cold causing him to hallucinate because he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I don't need to see you in action to know your efforts aren't working," Weiss went on. "If they didn't work on me, they certainly won't work on her. You can't expect a grown woman to be smitten by teenage levels of romance. You need class, something you sorely lack."

"Class?" That wasn't something his dad had said he needed when getting girls. But then again, his dad wasn't expecting him to start chasing teachers.

"Yes, class. Right now, Goodwitch sees you as a boy and an irritating one at that. Now, why do you think that is?"

Jaune opened his mouth.

"Don't answer that," she said, cutting him off. "It's because you have no maturity to you. You act like a child, so she sees you as a child. You will always be a nothing more than a boy in her eyes.

A feeling of frustration squirmed inside him. "Well, what am I supposed to do?" he grumbled. He was still just a teen, after all. He could only work with what he had.

"What, indeed," Weiss hummed. "What can a boy do to sway the heart of an older woman?"

She looked at him like she was expecting an answer. When he gave her none, she sighed and rolled her eyes.

"It's obvious, dolt. You have to show her that you're a man. You may be young on the outside, but you must prove you're mature on the inside."

Mature... on the inside...

Jaune's eyes widened. Of course! It all made sense now! Why hadn't he thought of that before? Suddenly, his road ahead seemed more clear. His purpose more defined. Weiss had done more than open his eyes to sub-zero water drenching his body - she had opened his eyes to the truth.

"A man..." he whispered, slightly in awe from the discovery. "That... sounds like a good idea."

"Did you expect anything less from me?" Weiss hummed. "From the looks of it though, it's obvious you can't do this on your own. It would take a miracle for you to convince her that you are more than a bumbling oaf."

Jaune's mood soured.

"But that's where I come in."

And then it was brought back up again.

"For what it's worth, you're clearly passionate about this. I can respect that, even if this situation is a little odd. So, I'm willing to do you a kindness - I will show you the steps to win her over. Passion is nothing without direction. With my guidance, you will finally be able to lay claim to Goodwitch's heart."

And just like that, it felt like all of his injuries had instantly healed. Jaune was over the shattered moon. Love advice from Weiss Schnee? One of the most perfect people in the world? He wanted to jump out of his bed and dance with joy.

This was perfect. With Weiss in his corner, there was no way he could fail now. He could've hugged the girl if his arms didn't feel as dead as disco.

He looked up at her like she was a goddess. "You'll seriously do this for me?" he beamed, eyes twinkling with delight.

"Of course."

He was about to squeal in excitement, but then realisation hit him. "You're just doing this so I won't flirt with you anymore, aren't you?" he frowned.

"Of course."

Figures. Ah well, his mother had taught him to never look a gift horse in the mouth. Weiss' teachings were the best chance he had of getting with Goodwitch.

"Alright, I accept. Thank you so much for this, Weiss. You're the best."

"Hmm. Well, it's good to see you didn't lose all your senses during that fight." Sheesh, he hoped he wouldn't learn how to be charming from Weiss. Goodwitch would use her semblance to rip out his tongue. "Meet me in the study room tomorrow at twelve. We'll begin our lessons then. You had better pay attention during them."

Oh, he would. These ones were actually important. Knowing how to get girls was always one of life's greatest mysteries. It was weird how that wasn't a subject taught in school. How did they expect mankind to continue if no one knew what they were doing?

"Thanks, Weiss," he said again. As she turned to leave, another realisation hit him. This one being much colder as he remembered his situation. "Um, c-c-could you get me a w-w-warmer blanket?" he chattered.

She looked back and frowned. "You won't actually get pneumonia, you know. Your aura will stop it from happening."

"I-I-I'm still really c-c-cold, Weiss."

"Very well, hold on." She grabbed one of the drier blankets from one of the beds and threw it over him. "I'm sure wasn't cold enough to complain about. Well, if there's one thing I'm not teaching you, it's endurance."

Jaune barley heard her as he buried himself in the sweet warmth of the new blankets. By the time Weiss had left, he had cocooned himself in a bundle of heat and excitement. He spent the rest of the night working his aura overtime into patching him up. There wasn't much else to do, seeing as how he couldn't sleep. He was like a kid trying to sleep on Nondescript Winter Holiday Eve.

Weiss Schnee was gonna be his love coach. For the first time in his life, Jaune was looking forward to class. If what she said was true, he was gonna evolve from a boy to a man. The exciting thought followed him into his dreams.

Look out, Glynda - man Jaune was coming!

* * *

 **And there we go.**

 **Not so good in the second round either, but remember: every slip-up is an opportunity in disguise. The plot thickens as Weiss makes herself a member of Team Spellsword. What lessons will she teach our favourite slacker? Can she make Jaune a man worthy of Goodwitch? Why is no one writing any Constable x Salem fanfics?**

 **Find out next time on Exxxtra Credit.**


	4. Chapter 4

This **chapter contains heavy use of the English language. If you can't read English, feel free to read on. It's probably for the best if you don't understand anything.**

* * *

 **Cover art - Imyoshi**

* * *

" _Alright. Are you paying attention?"_

" _Yes, Professor Schnee."_

" _... what?"_

" _I said, yes, Professor-"_

" _I heard you the first time, but why did you call me that?"_

" _Um, well, I figured since you're gonna be my teacher, I should address you like one. So, I thought-"_

" _Call me that again and these lessons are cancelled."_

" _Ack! Yes, Profe- er, Weiss."_

" _Very good. Now then, the first step to getting someone to fall for you - establish a positive relationship. I'll be blunt, your relationship with Goodwitch is terrible right now, and that's only on a professional level. Not only are you the worst fighter in Beacon, you've also hounded her with your useless attempts at flirting. She'd sooner bed a Grimm than wave in your direction."_

" _Come on, don't you think you're exaggerating here?"_

" _Your team told me everything, Jaune. I know all about your current attempts. Let's just say if you had tried approaching me like that, your team would be short of a leader."_

" _I haven't been that bad."_

" _You sat in her lap!"_

" _I'm not that heavy!"_

" _That's not… ugh, we have a lot of work to do. Or rather, I have a lot of work to do. You just have to follow my instructions as I plan your next move."_

" _Geez, are you like this with your own team members?"_

" _Nevermind them. This is you we're dealing with. Anyway, back to Goodwitch. If you want your flirts to be successful, you have to get on her good side first. You have to make her forget about your previous blunders by establishing a mutual, friendly relationship with her. Make her want to spend time with you simply because you're good company._

" _How do I do that? I thought you said she hated me."_

" _At the moment she does. So, the first thing you have to do is change that. Romance can come later. Get her to like you on a mutual basis first, and then work your way up from there. A good way to start is by bonding over mutual interests."_

" _What, like hobbies? But I don't know anything about her."_

" _I figured as much. Lucky for you, one of my sources has been keeping tabs on her for. I know that she enjoys crime books by Mike Paladino. You can start by talking to her about those."_

" _... you keep tabs on Professor Goodwitch?"_

" _I do_ _."_

" _Was this before or after you decided to help me?"_

" _Long before. What of it?"_

" _Why would you keep tabs on our teacher?"_

" _I'm a businesswoman, I keep tabs on everybody. I know Goodwitch likes crime books the same way I know you shower with Ultramen body wash."_

" _... you're gonna be a very scary CEO when you get older. You know that, right?"_

" _Save your flattery for Goodwitch. Another way to get on her good side - do something nice for her. Help her out with her work. Offer to make her tea. Anything that shows you care about her. This will leave a longer lasting impression than a simple flirt she could receive at any old bar."_

" _That's it? That's the first step? This all sounds… really simple."_

" _That's because it is simple. So simple that only you could miss it. Seriously, how does someone with seven sisters not know anything about girls or women? Didn't you even say they were all lesbians?"_

" _Well, except Rose. She's asexual."_

" _So, why didn't you ask them for advice? What's their secret to attracting girls?"_

" _Cleavage."_

" _... fair enough. Well, you're going to have to do things the old-fashioned way - by being a proper gentleman. To win Goodwitch's heart, you must be mature, you must be well-spoken, and for God's sake, you must be classy. But first, you must be polite. Find a way to talk to her tomorrow. I have a copy of Paladino's most recent book on me now. Take it. You don't have to read it all, but read enough to know what you're talking about."_

" _Okay, sure. Should be easier than textbooks. It's fiction, right?"_

" _It is."_

" _Yeah, I'll be fine then."_

" _Splendid. Also, find a way to be useful to her. Offer her your services in some way. And be careful how you speak to her. Here, take these."_

" _Earpieces?"_

" _You think I'm going to let you speak to her unsupervised? Let's not punish the poor woman - she's dealt with you enough as it is. I'll be listening in and acting as your mouthpiece if I feel you're about to say something stupid. And considering it's you… yes, I'll be telling you what to say the entire time."_

" _We could start a religion with how much faith you have in me."_

" _Look me in the eye and tell me this isn't necessary."_

" _... what time should I meet her tomorrow?"_

" _Try to run into her around two. She'll have finished her lunch break and will be returning to her office to do some paperwork."_

" _Sure_ _… your source is good at their job."_

" _I get what I pay for. Now get going and prepare yourself. I'll be in touch."_

[/]

Her lunch had been excellent. The cooks in Beacon's cafeteria never failed to serve nothing less than the finest of food. It almost made her forget she had work to do afterwards. But when the clock hit two and she finished her last bite, reality came flooding back to her.

She reluctantly walked back to her office, where a mountain of paperwork and a throbbing headache awaited her inside. The outside world taunted her as the sun rays shone through the window, revealing clear blue skies and people happily enjoying the weather. The perfect day to be outside.

She sighed. Another day, another lien, as her father often said. She turned the corner down the hallway-

 _CRASH!_

-and was knocked straight onto her back.

Groaning, she leaned up on the floor. Her head swam as she tried to work out what happened. Her hunter instincts would've normally kicked in at the first sign of danger, but being stuck in her office for so long had dulled her senses. Unfortunately, pain was not one of them.

She rubbed her eyes and lying on the floor in front of her was- oh please God, no.

"Mr Arc?" No, no, this couldn't be happening. She did not have time or patience for his silly antics now. She had put up with his nonsense twice already. Three strikes and he'd be out - out of a window and into the nearest tree.

"Ms Goodwitch," he gasped, standing up and dusting himself off. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Here, let me help you up." He reached his hand out to her. She accepted it and he pulled her up. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there."

Evidently. It seems she wasn't the only one who needed glasses.

"It's fine," she sighed. She straightened her clothes in an attempt to make them look neat again. Her skirt was dusty and her top was ruffled. Wonderful. "Please try to watch where you're going next time."

"I will. You're not hurt, are you?"

Actually, she was. She hadn't had time to activate her aura and now her back was hurting. An aching head and now her back was causing her grief. It was going to be even harder to do her job now.

"I'll manage," she winced. "Why were you running in the halls in the first place?"

"I wasn't. I just wasn't looking where I was going. I'll be more careful next time."

"Please do. You really ought to be more aware of your surroundings."

"I know, I'm sorry. I was just so wrapped up in my book and-" His eyes suddenly widened and he stared down at the floor. "Oh no, I dropped it!" He quickly hurried onto the floor and picked up a book that she hadn't noticed before lying there. "Ugh, I can't even remember what page I was on. This is gonna be annoying…"

Glynda watched him with a raised eyebrow. Jaune Arc was a reader now? She hadn't expected that from him. Like most boys his age, he seemed like the sort to bury his nose in comic books and magazines. Not that it was any of her business to know what he got up to in his free time. It was just unusual to see him with an actual book in his hands.

Then her eyes widened. As he was wiping off the dust on the front cover, she could see the name of the book and author.

 _Chasing Shadows_ written by Mike Paladino - her favourite author.

His chilling tales had her on the edge of her seat every time. She would often read them after a hard day of work with some wine to relax. She was usually to exhausted to meet up with people after work, so books were often her only form of company. Because of that, she only surrounded herself with the best ones. And there were no better books than his.

And Jaune Arc owned the newest one?

"Well, at least the cover isn't ruined," he grumbled, inspecting the book for any damages. Little did he know with his back turned to her, she was staring intently at his book.

"You have good choice in literature, Mr Arc," she murmured, still a little confused. Looking closer, she noticed the sticker on the front cover saying it was the limited edition. That meant it had the author's signature on the front page. Not even she had a signed copy of his books.

So, why? Why would Jaune Arc of all people own one?

"Thank you," he said sincerely, turning round to see her. "I just picked it up today. I heard it just got released and had to have it. Mike Paladino is my favourite author."

" _You're_ a fan of his work?" She hadn't meant to sound too surprised, but that's what she probably sounded like. She hoped the boy wouldn't take offence to that.

To her luck, he didn't. Instead, he let out a small chuckle. "Are you kidding me? I can't get enough of his stories. I've been collecting them since his first book…"

He suddenly stopped talking and froze on the spot. She tilted her head and waited for him to continue, but she got no response. It was like someone had come along and turned him off.

"Mr Arc?" she asked gently.

After a brief moment, he suddenly snapped out of his sudden trance and laughed again. "Sorry. I kinda blanked there for a second," he said in a strangely hasty tone. "But yeah, I've been collecting them since his first book, _Dark Reflection_. I wasn't able to put it down the entire time reading it."

 _Dark Reflection_? That book came out years ago, possibly before he was born. He was interested in books before his time?

Glynda's interest peaked. She too had a hard time closing it the moment she started reading it. She had finished it in a day and only realised she missed four hours of her day when she read the last page. It was the best four hours she never remembered spending.

"Funny, I had a similar reaction myself," she said, chuckling at the memory. "I remember being fascinated by the killer's motivations. It's always good to read a story where the villain makes sense."

"Oh, me too. And I loved that bit at the end where…"

And he zoned out again. Did he suffer from some kind of narcolepsy where he slept with his eyes open? She wouldn't put it past the boy and his peculiarities. One minute they were having a conversation, the next he would go as stiff as a statue. She hoped this wouldn't become a regular thing.

"Sorry, did that thing again," he eventually said. "Anyway, that ending where it's revealed the detective's boss was corrupt all along had me floored. I wasn't expecting it all."

"Neither was I." When she reread it, the clues had been there from the start, foreshadowing the eventual betrayal at the ending. The story had been so masterfully written that she missed them the first time. Reading it again was just as rewarding as reading it once.

Hearing someone else share her interest in Paladino's books felt oddly… nice. His books had normally been her private pleasure, but knowing someone else who enjoyed them too was satisfying to know. That someone else being Jaune Arc no less! This boy was full of surprises.

"I take it you're a fan too?" he asked her.

She nodded with a smile on her face. "Oh, absolutely. Whilst the first book introduced me to him, I think my favourite was his fifth book, _Cold Justice_. That might just be the only time I've ever sympathised with a lawyer."

He laughed. "Haha, yeah, that thing with the lawyer. I totally know what you mean. I loved it when…" Another pause. "... when his client helps him solve his father's murder they fall in love at the end. George really deserved happiness after it all."

"I couldn't agree more. Dealing with his father's murder _and_ his job hanging on by a thread? Such an inspiring story. I'm thrilled it sold as well as it did. I still own my copy of the first addition and reread it from time to time."

"Is that so? What a coincidence, so do I. Mind you, I reread all his stuff when I can. All of them are great."

The two laughed and continued to talk about their favourite author's books. Whilst Jaune did pause randomly in between conversation from time to time, it was still an enjoyable discussion. She knew she was on the clock and had to get back to her office soon, but her work wasn't going anywhere. Besides, she could feel her spirits being lifted by this conversation. It was giving her the energy to get back to work.

It was a bizarre feeling being able to relate to something with one of her students, especially since that student was Jaune Arc. Come to think of it, this was probably the most animated she had ever been with a student. It was certainly the longest she had talked to one about something that wasn't schoolwork. It was strange, but in a nice way.

His behaviour was still odd, and she wouldn't be forgetting that one time in her office anytime soon. But seeing him passionate about a hobby she shared… she felt something of a kindred spirit with the boy. It was small, but it was there. It was enough to make her overlook him running into her, at least.

"I must say, Mr Arc, this is a pleasant surprise," she said once their conversation slowed down a bit. "I would never have expected a student to be so interested in reading. It's rare I get to talk about his books. None of my colleagues or friends read them. This has been a welcome distraction."

It wasn't as if they didn't read themselves - why, Bartholomew was always going on about some new book he had read. They just simply weren't into darker stories like crime or thrillers. A shame, as Glynda always felt a rush of excitement as she read them, which was something she didn't feel enough of ever since she became a teacher.

He nodded slowly as if he shared her frustration. "I know what you mean," he said, confirming her thoughts. "None of my friends read them either, or anything for that matter. But then that's teenagers for you."

She raised an eyebrow at that. "You're a teenager yourself, you know."

He shrugged. "Guess I'm different."

"Apparently so…"

She checked her watch. As pleasant as this conversation was, she really needed to get back to work.

"Anyway, I must be off," she told him. "This has been nice, Mr Arc. Enjoy the rest of your day."

She turned to leave but was stopped when he felt her grab her wrist. His grip was loose, but it was enough to make her stop and turn around. He looked at her with a serious expression on his face.

"Hold on," he said softly. "There's something else I want to talk to you about since you're still here."

She held her breath. Memories of their time alone came back to her, causing her eye to twitch in annoyance slightly. _Don't ruin it now,_ she thought to herself. This conversation had put her in a good mood and she didn't need him souring it. She wished he would just leave her be and go. He was in danger of wasting her time once again.

But she reigned herself in. As annoying as he was most of the time, this conversation _had_ been pleasant. It was nice to talk to someone who shared the same interests as her for a change. She supposed he deserved one more moment of her time.

 _One_.

"Go on," she said slowly. He had one more chance to prove himself. He had better not waste it.

"Okay." He took a deep breath and stood up straighter. His expression was sombre, but there was a glimmer of determination in his eyes. "I was hoping to get the chance to speak to you, actually. Before you get worried, give me a chance to explain myself. I wanted to talk to you to say… I'm sorry."

Glynda said nothing and held his gaze. Her silence gave him permission to continue.

"I know I've been a pest," he went on. "I've wasted your time, I've annoyed you and I feel terrible about it. You probably think of me as some lazy idiot who likes to goof around and slack off. And you're probably right. I haven't been taking things seriously lately, and I can only imagine the pain it must be to teach me anything in combat class. It… hasn't been easy to accept that."

"Where is this coming from, Mr Arc?"

"I want to change," he said firmly. "I don't want you to hate me and I don't want to squander my time here in Beacon. I came here to be a better huntsman, but first I need to be a better person. Right now, I'm failing that. I want to change and I want to start now. I guess the first way to do that is by making it up to you."

Glynda didn't know how to react. The more she spoke to Jaune Arc, the less she felt she knew about him. He had gone from strange and cocky one day, and was now speaking oddly humble. How had this sudden change come about? The boy changed his attitude like the weather.

Whatever it was, it had her listening intently. He spoke so honestly, so seriously. He sounded truly sorry for what he had done. He had even admitted to being a nuisance to her in the past. And whilst she hardly hated him for his actions, she wouldn't lie that putting up with his bizarre behaviour was incredibly tiresome. But here he was, confessing to it all and apologizing for it.

Well, well. It seems he wasn't wasting this moment after all.

"I could just apologise to you," he said. "I could just say sorry and move on. But I wanna do something more. Something that makes up for all the times you've had to put up with me."

Her shoulders ever so slightly shrugged. "It's a teachers job to deal with the antics of their students. You need not feel like you owe me anything. As long as you behave yourself, that's apology enough."

"True. That said, I feel like you deserve something more. Saying sorry doesn't feel like I'm doing enough."

"Very well. What do you have in mind?" It couldn't hurt to listen to his offer. He was certainly eager to please.

"I was thinking… do you need an assistant?"

She blinked in surprise. "An assistant?"

"Yeah. I've heard you've been pretty busy these last few days. So I thought if you had an assistant it'd make things a little easier. So… maybe I could be yours for a time?"

An assistant? An Assistant…

Glynda thought about it. She had never had an assistant before. She never felt she needed one, due to her excellent organisation and work ethic. Having one seemed unnecessary, and there was always the danger that they might get in the way of things. She naturally preferred working alone anyway. Working in silence helped clear her mind and focus on the task at hand.

But he was right, these past few days had been hard on her. She was still on top of things, though not without struggle. On some days it felt like her workload was getting the better of her, but she felt she had no right asking her other colleagues to help her. They each had their own tasks they had to deal with. She wasn't the only one busy, even if it often felt like she was.

An Assistant…

"Why are you so eager to help me, Mr Arc?" she said, eyeing him curiously.

"As I said, I wanna make it up to you," he explained. "Being your assistant for a time seemed like the best way for me to apologize and grow as a person. If you'll have me, of course."

She hummed softly. That sounded like an honest enough reason. She was surprised she was even considering the thought. There was nothing against teachers having a personal assistant, but it still felt strange. What would it even be like, having Jaune Arc as an assistant? What were his skills? Had he ever done something like this before?

Rejecting him felt like the logical answer. She had never needed an assistant before and still probably didn't need one. She'd manage. She always did. A few piles of paperwork would hardly get the better of her.

But then again…

"No offence, Mr Arc, but I'm not sure what there is you could do for me. I certainly couldn't have you marking papers or taking calls for me. I don't even need you to wait by the door."

"Oh yeah, I get that. I know I can't get in the way of your teacher things," he said. "I'm talking more about little things. If you just needed someone to make you tea, clean the place up, or even just entertain you, I can do that."

She chuckled slightly. "You'll keep me entertained, will you? And how do you plan to do that?"

"I dunno. I guess we could talk about Paladino's books again. I know I'd like that, and I think you would too."

He had her there. The boy made a surprisingly good argument. Enough to have her almost convinced. Not even almost, really. He made an enticing offer, one she was having a hard time refusing. Having someone make her tea wouldn't lessen her workload, but she supposed it would be nice. And he had already proven he could make good conversation earlier before…

She studied him. Looking at him now, it was hard to believe this was the same boy who made a fool of himself twice in front of her and often slacked off in class. He carried himself with more pride than before, and his words matched his attitude. He really seemed to want to better himself and apologise to her.

… who was she to turn him down?

"Let me make something clear," she said. "Let's say, hypothetically, I do take you on as my assistant. I'd want you to do it because you want to. Not because you feel indebted to me. I would hate to have someone helping simply because they feel guilty."

"Trust me, it's more than that," he said. "Even if I've done a poor job of showing it so far, I really respect you. I want to show that I can do something right for you. And I don't want to help you simply because I feel guilty, even though I do a bit. This is just my way of apologising. I want to do right by you to make up for the wrong. It's a fair trade, really."

Okay, so at least he didn't feel like he owed her anything. She appreciated the fact that he respected her too. Someone with good manners was always good to work with.

"Also, I'm sure you already know this, but this would be voluntary. Don't expect any lien for your services. I can make helping me worth your while, but I won't be paying you."

He laughed. "That doesn't bother me. Being with you, I already know it'll be worth both our time."

He suddenly grimaced and started slapping his ear when he finished the sentence. Perhaps a fly had flown into his ear? She pulled her hair over hers to protect her own.

Let's see; he was eager, willing, and knew what he was getting into. That sounded good enough to her. The job was his.

"Very well," she said. "Why not? I've never had an assistant before. This will be an interesting experience for both of us."

The boy's mood brightened. "Great! I promise I won't let you down. What time should I start?"

Good question. It couldn't be during lesson times. His education had to come first. He wasn't the type of student who could afford to miss classes. Well, none of them could really, but he needed it more than ever.

"Send me your timetable and I'll work out a schedule," she told him. "As for hours, I wouldn't want to keep you for long. Especially if you won't have much to do. Shall we say one hour a day?"

"Sure, but I can easily do two. I don't mind."

She was taken back a little by his enthusiasm. "You're very serious about this, aren't you?"

"Oh yes. One hundred percent serious."

That was about as serious as you could get. She was getting used to this new attitude of his. He actually sounded disciplined for a change. Maybe James had come in the night and taken him under his wing? Whatever it was, it suited him.

"Let's stick with one hour for now and see how things work out," she said. If he was disappointed by this, he didn't show it. He simply nodded and accepted her terms dutifully. She was happy with his reaction.

She looked at her watch again. She had been talking to him for over ten minutes now. She really needed to go back to her office.

"Then it's settled," she said. "If you can keep up this attitude of yours, I will allow you to assist me. I think this can be nice." She held out her hand to him. "Until we see each other again, Mr Arc."

He accepted her gesture and the two shook hands. She had expected his grip to be a little loose. Instead, it was firm. Confident. She was impressed, considering who it was.

"Just one more little thing before you go," he said as the two pulled their hands away. "If we're working together… do you mind calling me Jaune? It just feels more natural. I'll still call you Ms Goodwitch, of course."

She smiled. "That depends on how good a job you do. Keep that in mind, _Mr Arc_." And then she turned and walked back down the hallway to her office, leaving the boy to do whatever it was he did when he wasn't crashing into people.

Her head toyed with the thought of her new situation. Jaune Arc as an assistant. It almost sounded like a joke. The clumsiest boy in the academy assisting her? It seemed like a disaster waiting to happen. She still questioned Ozpin's decision in making him a leader.

However, that new attitude of his had her interested. Compared to how he usually behaved, his sudden change in attitude had shocked her. He sounded completely serious and determined to change himself, something she could respect. If he kept it up, he may turn out to be incredibly useful to her. And she wouldn't lie, she did look forward to having more discussions about her favourite books again. If Jaune Arc was the only one she could talk to, so be it.

Maybe it would work out. Maybe it wouldn't. To be honest, she was fine with whatever the outcome. If he was a bumbling nuisance, she would kindly dismiss him of his service and life would carry on. But if things went well, she could actually have a useful assistant in her service. One that was free. That would be something to boast about in the staffroom.

She thought more about it until she reached her office and the mountain of paperwork reminded her of what was to come. She thought no more after that. It hurt her head too much.

[/]

Jaune waited until he was sure Goodwitch was out of sight.

He felt that had gone well. But then again, considering his previous attempts at impressing her, maybe that wasn't saying much. Still, at least she hadn't thrown him down the hallway again, and his body wasn't broken by the unhealthy combination of missiles and lasers. He had even gotten her to smile. That was a win in his book.

But there was one person he needed to check back with. Even if he felt it was a success, it wouldn't be until she decided it was. Pressing his fingers to his ear, he tapped the almost-invisible earpiece resting in his ear.

"White Queen, this is Arc Angel," he said, keeping his voice measured in case Goodwitch accidentally heard him. "Requesting performance review."

" _What did I say about giving us nicknames?"_ came the stern voice of Weiss Schnee. As always, the girl found a way to take the fun out of everything.

"Aww, come on, I worked really hard on them."

" _Your efforts are wasted on the most meaningless of things. Besides, I deserve a better nickname than that anyway."_

"Seriously? Yours has 'Queen' in the title."

" _White Queen reminds me of Weiss Queen. Weiss Queen reminds me of Yang. Yang reminds me of agony. Call me by my name or don't call me at all."_

"Fine," he sighed. So much for that. Even if she was helping him, Weiss was way too serious at times. How Ruby got her to lighten up, he would never know. "So, uh… how did I do?"

" _As far as third impressions go, not bad at all."_ A warm feeling of pride flowed surged through him. A confirmed good approach _and_ a compliment from Weiss Schnee? This was going remarkably well. _"Your entrance definitely needs some work, though. When I said try to run into her, I didn't mean riot tackle her to the ground."_

Jaune winced. "Yeah, sorry, I kinda panicked there."

" _See that it doesn't happen again, or the only thing you're going to be assisting her with is getting her into her wheelchair because you've broken her spine."_

Well, aura would prevent that from happening, but whatever. She was right though, he did need to work on that. He had seen her coming down the hallway and his mind shut down while his body went on autopilot. _'Do not let her get away!'_ That was the instruction he had given himself before he crashed into her. Next time, calling her name might do the trick.

" _And another thing, I know I'm helping you speak to her, but for goodness sake, make it a little easier on me. Why did you start going in depth about other books when you haven't read them?"_

"I was making small talk. I felt if it sounded like I knew what I was talking about, she'd be more impressed." And she was, as well. She had enjoyed the conversation. She told him herself.

" _But you don't know what you're talking about. You only know the one book. I had to look online for the plot points of the other ones. Do you have any idea how long those articles are? Be thankful I'm a fast reader."_

"I'm sorry, it's all I could think of. It convinced her though, didn't it?"

" _For the most part. But you also need to work on your improvisation. You can't just zone out like a zombie while I'm looking up information for you."_

He winced again. What else was he meant to do when waiting for Weiss to tell him what to say? He knew he wasn't the smoothest of guys, so he kept his mouth shut. She probably thought he was pausing to be dramatic. That sounded like a mature thing to do.

"I didn't think it was that noticeable," he murmured.

" _You're lucky she didn't bring it up. It's a little hard to be impressed by someone when they're frozen like a deer in headlights."_

"Okay, I'll give you more warning next time. I'm sorry." It's not like they had gone over everything during their first lesson. He was still trying to get the hang of this. "But hey, on the bright side it all worked out," he said in a happier tone. "I'm now her assistant. Isn't that great?"

That had been his idea as well. Weiss had doubted it to begin with but agreed on the condition that she'd choose his words for him. And it had done the trick. They made a great team, even if she would never admit it.

" _That is impressive,"_ she said in an almost warm tone. _"At least now it means you'll see her often outside of classes. You'll be able to make a bigger impression on her then. I have to say, you did well with that speech we rehearsed. Your tone was good, your spoke clearly. That was good for someone who previously made two terrible attempts at impressing her."_

Jaune beamed. "Is this you being nice to me now?"

" _I give credit where credit is due,"_ she said in a complete business tone. _"But don't let it go to your head. You still have a long way to go before you start being romantic. Tell me what times you'll be assisting her. I'll still be giving you advice on what to say."_

"Sure, but you don't have to be listening all the time if you don't want to. I'll just be keeping her company when she's working. What's the worst I could do?"

" _That question has so many answers and you don't want to hear any of them. I'll let you off the leash when I think you're good and ready. Until then, you will follow my instructions. You have a job now, Jaune. It'd be bad if you get fired on the first day."_

"Alright," he sighed. At least Weiss cared. Well, mostly for her own benefit, but still. "One of these days though, you won't have to worry so much about me. I can do things on my own."

" _You certainly can, Jaune. You certainly can."_

Was that an insult? It sounded like an insult. Felt like one too. Ah whatever, today had been a success. She'd need more than sarcasm to bring him down.

"Anyway, I'm wrapped up here. What should I do now?"

" _Whatever you want. You've done well today. I'll let you know when it's time for our next lesson. Be prepared, for it will be soon. We have to teach you how to be useful and entertaining at the same time."_

"I could bring my guitar?"

" _No, you won't."_

"But-"

" _White Queen over and out."_

A beeping noise came from the earpiece, indicating Weiss had hung up. He took it out of his ear and sighed. Did she have to say her well-thought-out nickname with such sarcasm? Some people had no appreciation for art. Once Weiss was done teaching him to be sophisticated, he was gonna show her a thing or two about having fun. For his sake and RWBY's.

Anyway, he was free now. He might as well see what his team were up to. He walked down the hallway and contemplated on his success. He was now Glynda Goodwitch's official assistant. This was perfect. Now he could get some serious alone time with her and - when it was time - put the moves on her. At least, the moves Weiss approved of.

He opened the door to his team's dorm with a winning smile on his face. His team looked up at him curiously. He stood proudly in the doorframe radiating with manly pride.

"Guess who got himself a job?"

* * *

 **You're still here? It's over. Go home.**

 **Third times the charm, and Jaune has actually had a decent conversation with Goodwitch. Even has a job thrown into the mix. With some help from Weiss, of course. Before any of you ask, yes, we will have scenes from Jaune's POV where Weiss talks to him as he's with Goodwitch. I just thought it'd be a good idea to focus on Glynda's POV for this particular scene.**

 **With his job as Goodwitch's assistant secure, Jaune must do all he can to impress her. Will he be successful in his job? What more could come from this arrangement? Why did Disney replace Spectacular Spiderman with two awful Spiderman shows?**

 **Find out next time on Exxxtra Credit.**


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter is brought to you by soup.**

 **Soup: drink it up, you sluts.**

* * *

 **Cover art - Imyoshi**

* * *

 _SMASH!_

" _Whoa, whoa, whoa. Take it easy, Weiss!"_

" _Not good enough. Make it again."_

" _That was fine china! You can't just throw it on the ground like that!"_

" _Are you implying I can't afford to replace it?"_

" _I'm implying I'm gonna have to clean it up! That's the fifth teacup you've smashed now!"_

" _I don't know why you're complaining. You have a job as a teacher's assistant now. You'll be expected to do lots of cleaning."_

" _Yeah, for Goodwitch! Not for you!"_

" _Well, there you go then. Consider me practice for when you go to serve her. And you can start by making the tea correctly this time. There was too much sugar when I tasted that one. Pour in the correct amount or it's going on the floor."_

" _You're being nitpicky, I tasted it earlier. It was fine."_

" _I'm being thorough. My source tells me Goodwitch takes exactly two-and-a-half spoonfuls of sugar in her tea. No more no less. As such, you must do the same."_

" _Alright, I gotta ask, who the heck is this 'source' of yours? Where are they getting all this information on Goodwitch?"_

" _I do not question their methods of gathering information. All I can tell you is that it's all true. I've seen evidence of their findings firsthand. My knowledge of Goodwitch's ways is foolproof."_

" _Have I ever met them? Do they go to Beacon? Can I get a name at the very least?"_

" _You needn't concern yourself with that. When she wants to reveal herself, she will."_

" _So it's a 'she' then?"_

" _Focus! You've still yet to make the perfect cup of tea. I expect the correct sugar measurements this time. And watch the milk. Your hand shakes too much when you pour it in. You'll make the tea look like the surface of the moon if you're not careful."_

" _It's not easy when I've got your eyes drilling into my back. I'd like to see you do this with someone staring at you."_

" _Don't tell me you feel under pressure…"_

" _So what if I do?"_

" _You fight monsters the size of buses for a living, and you're telling me you can't make tea when someone's watching you?"_

" _Trust me, Grimm are waaaaay less judgy than you."_

" _I have to keep an eye on you to make sure you're doing a good job. You want this to be perfect, don't you? If you want her to keep you around, you have to show her you can make the perfect cup of tea exactly to her standards. It'll increase your value to her."_

" _I don't think Goodwitch cares too much if I'm perfect or not. As long as I don't serve her something disgusting - which I won't - I'm sure it'll be fine."_

"' _Fine' is for underachievers with no drive. You're under my instruction now, and I expect only the highest results from you. 'Fine' isn't good enough for students of Weiss Schnee. You will be perfect even if it kills you!"_

" _And now I know why I'm the only student of yours."_

" _Think about it. If you can make her tea exactly how she takes it, she'll consider you a more precious asset. She won't want to risk going to cafes and wasting money on tea that doesn't compare to yours. Every time she drinks something substandard, she'll remember how much she misses your tea and develop a craving for it. Your usefulness to her will increase tenfold."_

" _Seriously? All that over some tea?"_

" _I've had many servants who specialise in different foods and drinks. What Beacon serves in the cafeteria is good, but it doesn't compare to what they used to serve. I know what I'm talking about here."_

" _I mean, if that's true then I guess I can-"_

" _Make it perfect? Yes, you will. Now hurry up and finish that cup. I'm getting thirsty over here."_

" _Well, maybe you wouldn't be if you didn't throw those previous cups on the ground!"_

" _Arguing makes me thirsty. I think I might need two cups."_

" _Fine, fine. One tea coming up. Here you go."_

" _..."_

" _Well, what are you waiting for? Take it?"_

" _That's how you plan to serve it to me?"_

" _What's wrong with how I'm serving it?"_

" _What's wrong with… look at how you're holding the cup!"_

" _What about it?"_

" _Look at your fingers. Look at how tightly you're holding it. I can see your hand shaking slightly, for heaven's sake!"_

" _What, I'm holding it securely. This way it doesn't slip out of my hand. At least I'm not throwing it on the ground like you."_

" _You're gripping it like a neanderthal! You're not holding your sword, you're holding a teacup. Your grip must be firm but delicate. Be gentle with it. Grip it any tighter and it will break in your hands. And you didn't even bring me a saucer."_

" _We don't have any saucers!"_

" _Bring some next time. The presentation is important too. I suppose it can't be helped now, though. Bring it over again, this time more gently. Hold it like your holding a delicate flower."_

" _Uh, okay. Like this?"_

" _Hmm, a little looser."_

" _I'm basically holding it by two fingers now."_

" _You wouldn't have to if you had brought a saucer."_

" _Oh for the love of… is this any better?"_

" _Hmm… that'll do. Come, let me taste it."_

" _Enjoy."_

" _Hmm… hmm… just the right amount of sugar, not too much cream… hmm…"_

" _..."_

" _Yes, this is right. This is the one. Goodwitch will be very impressed with this."_

" _I thought so. So what-"_

 _SMASH!_

" _Are you kidding me, Weiss!?"_

" _What? Did you expect me to drink the whole thing? I didn't say that's how_ _ **I**_ _preferred my tea."_

" _..."_

" _Cream and no sugar, please."_

[/]

When Jaune saw Glynda's eyes light up when she took her first sip, he knew he had hit the tea-making jackpot.

"Oh my," she murmured, staring in awe at the teacup in her hands. "This is delicious! Absolutely delicious!"

Her reaction was music to his ears. That was the sound of a woman who had just her glasses blown off after being served the perfect cup of tea. Hours of practice, endless criticism and many needlessly broken teacups later had finally paid off. He gave those fallen teacups a silent prayer of respect before going back to internally screaming in joy.

He had done it! He was the tea-making king! Bow before him, coffee-drinking peasants!

"I'm happy you think so," he smiled in a way that spoke of true professionalism. He was beaming like the morning sun on the inside, however.

"I'm serious," she went on, still in a state of rapture by his caffeinated goodness. "The temperature, the amount of sugar and milk… everything about it is perfect!" A small chuckle escaped her. "Keep making them this good, and I may have to keep you around for longer."

Positive emotions the likes of which he had never felt before erupted within him. Glynda Goodwitch giving him a compliment? He'd have to write these words down in his journal. This would day to be remembered in the history of Jaune!

" _What did I tell you?"_ came the smug voice of his of his other teacher. _"Let that be a lesson for the next time you decide to question me."_

As humble as always, Weiss. He guessed she earned it here, though. Glynda was definitely hooked.

Ignoring her comment, he continued talking to the ever-grateful Ms Goodwitch. "Thanks very much. I had a very good teacher," he said.

"Clearly. Who was it, if you don't mind me asking?"

A controlling white-haired girl with no respect for teacups...

"Just my mom," he said. "She was pretty insistent on it. Said if I ever met a nice girl I should know how to fix her a good drink."

" _Careful with your choice of words. That could be mistaken for a flirt."_ Weiss warned him. He felt chills from her warning, even when she was on the other side of the school.

He'd take it into account, but it couldn't be helped. He was a natural smooth-talker.

"She taught you well," Glynda commended. "She's not wrong either. You'll make some girl out there happy if you serve them drinks as good as this. I myself have always appreciated a man who knows his way around a kitchen."

Good to know, Glynda. Good to know. Hopefully Weiss was taking notes for him.

"That means a lot," he said earnestly. "Now then, is there anything else I can help you with?"

He had already completed most of his tasks. Before making her tea, he had cleaned her office so that it was tidy when she came back from her lesson. Not that there was much to clean, he had just swept most of the dust off her stuff.

Weiss had made sure he was capable of sweeping by having him clean Team RWBY's room. Well, at least Ruby, Blake and Yang had been grateful...

"Hmm… I suppose you can just keep me company for now," she said. "I have a lot of paperwork to do. Some conversation would be nice."

"Are you sure? Wouldn't that distract you?"

"I wouldn't be where I am today if I couldn't multi-task." True enough, she finished one of her papers and set it aside without skipping a beat. "Come, talk to me. When did you first start reading Paladino's work?"

Ah, this again. The woman was obsessed with those books. Guess that meant he was too.

Jaune paused and awaited Weiss' instructions.

" _I'll let you handle this one,"_ she told him. _"Let's see what you've learnt from our last improv lesson."_

Jaune froze. Was she being serious? They only ever had one together. He had done okay, but not good enough that he felt he could handle a conversation on his own. Way to throw him into the deep end, Ice Queen.

As if she read his mind, she quickly followed up with, _"I'll take over if you start stammering. For now though, you're in charge. Best of luck to you."_

Luck. He was gonna need it.

He sat down in the chair in front of her desk and steeled himself. What could he say that sounded convincing? Sounded impressive? If he wanted to sound mature, he had to present himself as such. Lying had already got him this far in life. Whatever lie he came up with now would probably be convincing. Hopefully.

"Alright then," He began. He thought for a moment, carefully choosing his words. "It all started when I was a kid. I had always been into books even at a young age. While most of the kids played sports or whatever, I was often in the library reading. I'd read anything I could get my hands on. I was often seen having a book in my hand."

"Ah, so you were already an avid reader to begin with?" Glynda asked.

"Oh yeah. Big time." He let out a nervous chuckle as he planned his next move. "Some of the kids at school picked on me because of it. Didn't have many friends growing up as a result. I didn't mind too much. I guess I never felt they were… I dunno, on the same wavelength as me, I guess? That probably makes me sound snobby."

"Hardly," Glynda huffed. "Children can be incredibly immature. Not that it can be helped. They're too young to know better. Still, to be interested in a more advanced hobby at a young age… that's impressive, Mr Arc, I must say."

Okay, off to a good start. She seemed to be believing him so far. It was time to press further.

"Well, my mom is an author. I guess I got my interest in books from her. They've always been a part of my life. My teacher, Mrs Turner, always talked about how mature I was for reading all the time."

"A fellow teacher, eh? Did you get on well with her?"

"I sure did. She thought I was one of the brightest in the class. At least when it came to reading and writing. I had a great relationship with her."

"Fascinating," she hummed, happy at what she heard.

This was going well. She was buying every word he said!

" _Not bad at all,"_ Weiss agreed with him on the other end of the mic. _"This all sounds within the realms of realism. I could almost believe it myself had I not known better. Keep it up."_

Pride surged through him. In reality, not all of his story was a lie. Some of it was - he never had a 'Mrs Turner', or any teacher who spoke highly of him for that matter - but not all of it. His mother was indeed an author and while he did get bullied at school, it had hardly been because of reading. No, he had his stutter to blame for that…

Ah, whatever. He was on a roll now. This day kept getting better and better.

"Anyway, so when did you start reading Paladino's work?"

Jaune spoke without thinking. He let confidence do the talking for him. "When I was five."

And then he immediately wanted to kick his confidence in the balls.

" _Oh brilliant,"_ he heard Weiss sigh disappointedly. He had to agree with her on this one.

"Five?" Glynda gasped, looking up from her paperwork in surprise. "You were reading crime novels at five years old? Some of them are quite graphic. Why did your parents let you read them at such a young age?"

His brain frazzled as it desperately tried coming up with an answer.

"Hehe, well, I was very mature for my age," he said in a way that he hoped sounded believable. "They knew I could handle it. Plus, I was really into murder and stuff back then."

" _Don't say that! You sound like a disturbed child!"_ Weiss snapped.

"W-What I mean is I liked solving mysterious. I-It helped expand my young mind and made me even more mature, if that were possible. I became super mature."

"' _Super mature'? Really?"_

Hey, he'd like to see her come up with anything better. Oh wait… she probably could. Well until he saw evidence of that, he was sticking by what he said!

"I see," Goodwitch said slowly. Her tone made him wince inside. She sounded doubtful. He'd have to find a way to turn the conversation in his favour again "I take it this 'Mrs Turner' thought the same way?"

" _I hope for your sake that this teacher is real,"_ Weiss said.

Nope. Mind you, it was probably for the best that she was fake. If she was real, she'd probably sound like all his other real teachers. That'd be bad.

"She sure did," he said. "If you don't believe me, you should ask her yourself."

The words escaped his mouth before he could stop them.

"Hmm, I might just do that," Glynda mused. "She sounds like an interesting woman."

Panic surged through him as he felt himself sinking into the grave he had dug himself.

" _Of course she's not real,"_ Weiss groaned. _"Well don't just sit there! Say something!"_

Say what? What was he supposed to say?

"You can't!" he suddenly blurted out, startling her in the process. "I mean, you can't talk to her because…"

Think of something! Think of something!

"... she died."

He could hear Weiss slapping her forehead through the earpiece.

"She died?" Glynda asked, still looking put off by his emergency outburst.

"Yeah, she died. About two years ago. A pack of Beowolves came and ate her one day. They gobbled her up. All of her. Completely untraceable."

"Oh…"

"Yeah, then a Goliath came and stood on her house, so I wouldn't bother trying to look her up. There's nothing left of her. Emails, phone number, messenger pigeon, it's all gone. Oh, and don't ask anyone about her either. We're all still recovering."

"I see…"

" _As graceful as an Ursa performing ballet,"_ Weiss muttered.

"Yeah…" This was going bad. How could he remedy this situation? "I spoke at her funeral," he quickly added. "She wanted me to in her will… cause I was so mature and all."

" _Just… stop!"_

Glynda looked as uncomfortable as he felt. She broke the awkward silence with a polite cough. "Well, that truly is… tragic to hear," she said carefully. "I'm sorry for your loss. I won't pry anymore if her memory still hurts.

He would've sighed in relief if he could. He heard Weiss do it on her end. That could've gone terribly. Thank God she was so understanding. Or gullible enough to believe such a fake story. Perhaps it was rude to think that way about his teacher, but hey, if his false transcripts got by her...

Deciding she had had enough of his desperate rambling, Glynda went back to work on her papers. It was relieving for Jaune to feel her eyes off of him. He didn't know if he could handle anymore improv with someone looking at him. The woman's gaze was as sharp as daggers. It gave him time to recover and plan out his next move.

And hey, maybe he could pay some respect to the fallen imaginary teacher Mrs Tupper.

Or was it Mrs Turner?

… no more improv for him.

" _That could've been disastrous,"_ Weiss reported. _"At least we have some breathing time now. You need to do something nice for her again. I imagine she's tired after having to deal with you stumble through that conversation. Ask her if she wants a refill-"_

She stopped talking when Goodwitch suddenly winced as she leaned down. She let out a small grunt of pain. Jaune immediately sat up in alert.

"Ms Goodwitch, are you okay?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," she sighed. "My upper back's been irritating me lately. Every now and then it starts hurting and I can't do much about it." She leaned back in her chair and winced when the pain returned to her.

Jaune immediately felt guilty. She was likely hurting because of him when he tackled her to the ground. He didn't think it'd hurt her much, what with her being a huntress. He was sad to see that it did.

"What about your aura? Can't you use it to heal you?" he asked her.

"I don't waste it on small things like this. Aura should be reserved for emergencies. You never know when the next battle could occur." She looked up at him and spotted the concern in his eyes. "I'll be alright, it'll pass in time. There's no need to look so worried."

Jaune looked down in disappointment. This sucked. She wouldn't be hurting if it hadn't been for him. And she was gonna keep hurting unless there was something he could do. His tea was great, but he doubted it could heal a back pain.

His eyes lit up. An idea came to his head.

"Could you excuse me for a moment?" he said, getting up out of his chair. "There's something I need to check."

Glynda blinked. "Oh, very well then. Try not to be too long."

He assured her he wouldn't and quickly left the office. He walked until he was sure he was out of her hearing range.

" _Where are you going?"_ Weiss asked. _"If you're going to the bathroom, please turn off your earpiece and spare me the trauma of having to listen to you."_

Jaune looked around the hallway. No one was there. Perfect. "I need to talk to you," he said.

" _Not while you're in the bathroom, you don't!"_ she snapped.

"I don't need the bathroom, just listen! Okay, so, Goodwitch says her back's hurting, yes?"

" _I heard. Your attempts at romance are almost as violent as Blake's ex's."_

"Right, so I was thinking…"

He gave Weiss the full scoop of his plan. Her reaction was about as he expected it to be.

" _No!"_ she shouted. _"No, no and no! You are not doing that!"_

"But I know how. I've done it before. My sisters always made me give them one."

" _We're not dealing with your sisters here, Jaune. We're dealing with a woman who could expel you with a snap of her fingers."_

"Please, we have a stronger connection than that. I'm wearing her down. I can feel it."

" _The only thing you're wearing down is my patience! What you are suggesting is too risky to be even thought about. You've only now started to get on her good side. If this goes wrong, you will squander all the progress you've made."_

"Or it could go perfectly and we'll get even closer."

" _The risk is too high!"_

Jaune wanted to laugh. Risks? Jaune Arc knew nothing of risks. He had snuck into Beacon with forged transcripts carrying nothing but a family heirloom, a cheap set of armour and his beloved hoodie. He had faced Grimm with barely any training and won mostly unscathed. And now he was pursuing Beacon's scariest teacher. Who else was brave enough to do that but him?

Risks were made to be taken. They were road blokes on your way to the fast lane. And he had no intention of slowing down. He was gonna see this journey right until the very end.

"I can do this," he assured her. "Trust me."

There was silence on her end. Jaune crossed his fingers for luck until he realised that hurt to do. He settled for a quick prayer to Lady Luck instead.

" _Fine then,"_ Weiss sighed. _"I can't physically stop you from acting like an idiot. I can only advise you. But if this goes wrong, that's all on you. I had nothing to do with this."_

He could live with that.

"Relax, I've got this," he told her, making his way back to Glynda's office. He entered to see her working on her papers again. She held herself with grace even though it was obvious she was still hurting.

Just another reason for him to act on his plan.

"I'm back," he said.

"Indeed," she replied, not looking up from her work.

"How's your back? Is it still hurting?"

"You mean since a minute ago?"

" _Already off to a good start,"_ Weiss chided. He ignored her. He had to be focused and confident if he was gonna do this.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," he said. He cleared his throat, making sure it was clear. He stood up a little straighter as he walked towards her. "I know you said not to worry, but I hate to see you in pain like this. You're only hurting because of me from that time I ran into you in the hallway. It's my fault."

She waved off his concern. "It was an accident. There's no need to apologise."

"Thanks for saying that, but it's still my fault. Part of why I wanted to be your assistant was to make up for everything I did. If you're in pain, I wanna help you. And since you won't use your aura-"

He sucked in a deep breath. Firm and confident, Jaune. You can do this!

"-maybe I could give you a massage?"

Silence gripped the room. No turning back now. This would either go really well or really badly. Whatever the outcome be, he'd have to face it head-on. That's what risk-takers did.

She looked up from her work with wide eyes. "Excuse me?" she said in disbelief.

" _My thoughts exactly, ma'am,"_ Weiss murmured.

"Let me explain," he began. "If I give you one, you won't have to worry about wasting your aura. I'll be able to get those knots out right away. You'll be healed."

He awaited her response. The good news was she didn't look angry. Merely surprised that he offered such a thing. Hopefully she wasn't so shocked that she'd throw him out the room again.

"I hardly think that would be appropriate, Mr Arc," she eventually said. "Such a gesture could be misinterpreted, no matter how pure your intentions might be."

"No problem, we'll just keep the door closed," he suggested. "Nobody else has to see."

"That's not really the point…" she sighed and shook her head. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm afraid I can't accept your offer. I appreciate you wanting to help me, but this is something time should heal. Thank you for offering, though."

And with that, she returned to her paperwork.

" _Consider this a lucky escape,"_ Weiss said. _"Honestly, what did you expect her to say?"_

He had been expecting a no. Rejection was something he was used to. He could feel the vibes of denial in the air before he opened his mouth. But unlike most risks he took, this was one he had given some level of consideration to.

She _was_ hurting. She was sitting in her chair uncomfortably and would occasionally wince as her upper back twitched in pain. Even though she wouldn't use her aura to fix it, it was clear she wanted to. It was too tempting - an easy heal button that would instantly patch things up. But she was wise to keep her aura reserved, even if it meant working in discomfort.

Of course, there was always another option…

Her eyes flickered to him for a moment. He caught her gaze before she could look away.

"I know how to give them," he told her. "It wouldn't take long for me to do."

" _No, you fool!"_ Weiss cried in his ear.

He wasn't listening. Her posture and the look on her face told him everything. He could tell she was considering taking him up on his offer. He saw tiny flickers of hope dance across her emerald eyes. She must have been thinking how nice it would be to have the pain go away, and through such a relaxing way of doing so. It was gonna be hard for her to turn him down.

For a moment she looked down at her desk again. It was not so she could concentrate on her work - her pen didn't even touch the paper. She needed a moment to think about her answer. She could take as long as she wanted, but Jaune felt he had this one in the bag. It was only a matter of time.

That time came when she looked back up again.

"Oh, very well then," she sighed. "A small one," she quickly added before he could congratulate himself. "And make sure the door is locked. We don't want anyone getting the wrong idea."

"Of course," he smiled. He did everything in his power to restrain the pride in his voice. There was a celebration party dedicated to him going on in his mind.

Ladykiller had struck gold! Yang always used that nickname to tease him, but it really was appropriate here. He had taken a risk and it had paid off. Now he was gonna give Goodwitch the time of her life. He was gonna have her moaning in pleasure as he left her satisfied in a way no man ever could. Her body would feel tingly after he worked his magic, and she'd probably have trouble standing up afterwards.

Massages were nice.

He walked over to the door with a bit of spring in his step and locked it. Weiss was silent in his ear, probably due to sheer disbelief that his plan had worked. It hadn't even been a week and he already felt like the student had become the master. Sweet! This would get her respect for sure. Today was the stuff of miracles.

He walked back over to Goodwitch who was eyeing him carefully as he took a seat behind her. It was obvious she was still unsure about this. No matter. She wouldn't be feeling that way for long. He flexed his fingers until he heard the satisfying sound of joints popping. It had been a while since he had done anything like this before, but he was confident in his abilities. It was like riding a bike - you never forgot.

" _I can't believe this is happening,"_ he heard Weiss murmur. Believe it, White Queen. This was the real deal.

"May I begin?" Jaune asked Glynda.

"You may," she replied. "Just remember what I told you - keep it short. No more than a minute."

A minute was all he needed. He could get everything done by then.

He shifted his seat closer to her. It was gonna be a bit tricky from this angle. Whenever he gave one to his sisters they'd been lying down on their bed. Glynda was still sitting upright. It'd probably be a bad idea to ask her to lie down on her desk. If he did, he'd be lying down to - six feet under the ground. If he was gonna do this, he'd have to adapt.

He observed the angle for a moment, planning out his strategy, before giving his fingers a little wiggle and setting out to work. He placed his hands just below her shoulders. He felt her stiffen against his touch. She wouldn't feel so stiff a moment. He was good, according to his sisters anyway.

" _You be careful where you put your hands,"_ Weiss warned him.

Please. He wasn't some pervert. He was a professional. They'd both realise this in a moment.

He started to move his thumbs in slow, circular motions.

 _CRACK!_

A loud crunching noise suddenly erupted from Glynda's back. The sickening, horrifying noise bounced off the office walls. He quickly pulled his hands back in horror and revulsion. What the hell was that? He had barely done anything and it sounded like he had obliterated her entire skeleton. He heard Weiss shriek from the sound.

From behind her, he saw Glynda's body shudder. Tremors worked their way through her until she was shaking in her chair. Panic raced through Jaune's system. Glynda was freaking broken! He had broken his teacher and not in a mental way that Weiss said she'd be after spending time with him. One little back rub had turned her bones to dust!

" _Get out of there!"_ Weiss screamed in his ear.

He would've have done so if he hadn't then heard his teacher moan… in delight?

"Professor Goodwitch!" Jaune exclaimed. "Oh my God, are you alright?"

"Y-Yes, I'm fine," she said in a quiet shaky voice. She sounded oddly happy for a woman who now had a spine made of jelly. "You can continue now."

Her words had him stunned. Continue? What was left to continue? The damage was done. You couldn't fix what wasn't broken, and he couldn't fix bloody anything!

"A-Are you sure?" he stammered. "That sounded painful-"

"I assure you, I'm fine!" she said quickly with a little bit of authority in her voice. "You offered me this, remember? Now get on with it."

She turned her back to him again. Jaune sat still like he was glued to his chair. Nu-uh. There was no way she was serious. The pain was probably making her say crazy words.

" _You heard the lady,"_ Weiss whispered sounding just as dumbfounded as him. At least he wasn't the only one disturbed by this.

Both his mentors were telling to continue? Well… alright then…

He rubbed his thumbs in the same spot as before. He winced when another crunching noise somehow louder than the first one exploded within her. For her part, Glynda sighed quietly and even leaned into his touch. He caught a brief glimpse of her face and saw that she had her eyes closed. She was enjoying this!

He lowered his hands slightly further down and rubbed, earning more snapping and crunching noises. Good Lord, how much built-up tension did this woman have? He had heard popping noises when he gave his sisters massages, but they hadn't sounded like he was crushing their bones in the process. Glynda's knots must have been tighter than constriction from a King Taijitu. Did every teacher feel this way or was it just her. Suddenly, becoming a teacher seemed even less appealing to him now.

As he rubbed her back, desperately trying to ignore the disgusting noises coming from it, he kept his eye on the door. His blood ran cold and the thought of someone hearing them. Forget people thinking they were doing something inappropriate - folks were gonna think he was killing her! Which technically was inappropriate, but was far less fulfilling than the other option.

Oh God, the noise. It was enough to make him hurl. At least Glynda was enjoying herself. He was surprised to see her look so content. She mustn't have been able to hear the noises coming from her. If she did, she wouldn't have looked as relaxed as what she did now. He didn't know when to stop. She had told him to keep it short, but it was clear she wasn't keeping track of time now. He needed a way out.

The alarm went off, signalling that their session had come to an end.

Glynda blinked out of her pleasant stupor and leaned upwards away from his hands. The massage had ended. He wasn't complaining. She adjusted her glasses and straightened her posture. That dreamy look on her face was instantly wiped off.

"Thank you for your assistance today, Mr Arc," she said professionally. "You had best get to your next lesson now though. I'll see you next time."

"Y-Yeah. Next time," he nodded before exiting the room. He walked down the hallway to his next class. He could see other students look confused at the disturbed expression on his face.

Well on the bright side, his plan had worked. He had given Glynda a successful back massage and she had loved every second of it. Just like his tea, she'd remember that. It'd be another reason for her to keep him around. Things were finally starting to look his way. With enough time and patience, she'd be his in no time. Victory had never felt so good.

Or sounded so crunchy...

He shuddered.

[/]

Glynda took a moment to enjoy the soothing feeling flowing through her back. Her relaxation was increased by the silence accompanying her office. Her body felt weightless, like a feather floating in a gentle summer's breeze. A heavy burden had finally been lifted off her shoulders.

She rolled her shoulders, testing the joints. It was gone. All the tension, all the aches and pains that came from leaning over a desk for years. Gone. It had all completely disappeared. She felt reborn anew as she rolled her shoulders, delighting in the lack of discomfort that came with the movement.

He hadn't been lying - he knew what he was doing. And oh wow, did he do a good job. She hadn't felt this relaxed in years. She was briefly taken back to a time before her teaching job, before the endless mountain of paperwork when she was a younger huntress, slaying Grimm left from right. There had been no back pains back then - just herself and the thrill of the hunt. A simpler time. A thrilling time.

The boy's offer had been odd. She was right to refuse it at first, and in hindsight, probably shouldn't have accepted in the end. The sight of a student rubbing her shoulders would have been difficult to explain. But the end result was well worth it. If she felt this relaxed for the rest of the day, she'd breeze through her workload.

This would hardly be a common occurrence in their partnership, so she savoured the feeling while it lasted. It had only been a day and the boy was proving himself to be more than useful to her. He made good tea, could hold conversations well (though he did have to work on that nervous demeanour of his) and had somehow removed all the aches in her upper back easily enough.

Perhaps it was too early to judge, but this was shaping up to be an excellent partnership.

With that thought in mind, she returned to her paperwork. For the first time in her teaching career, she had a smile on her face as she did it.

* * *

 **These things always turn out longer when I go to write them. Originally I had planned for each chapter to be around 3k or slightly more, but here we are.**

 **With his heart on his sleeve and Weiss in his ear, the first day on the job for Jaune has gone well. Will he be able to keep doing a good job? What trials await him being Glynda's assistant? Why am I asking you all these questions?**

 **Find out next time on Exxxtra Credit.**


	6. Chapter 6

**As of starting this chapter, requests are now open!**

* * *

 **Cover art - Imyoshi**

* * *

The alarm clock blared in the room, putting an end to Glynda's peaceful sleep.

Groaning and rubbing her eyes, her hand slapped at the air as it searched for the screeching device. She hated alarm clocks. They were loud annoying things, but they did their job perfectly. There was nothing worse than something being both irritating and necessary at the same time. They made every morning an unpleasant one.

Her hand kept swiping at nothing. Where the hell was it? Her vision was blurry from tiredness and she wasn't wearing her glasses. She had the eyesight of a bat without them. She swung her hand around until it landed on a wooden surface - her bedside table.

Her hand fumbled around looking for the clock. The accursed device wouldn't shut up. She was losing her mind. Her hand eventually found something small and square shaped. She couldn't tell what it was in her state, but only one thought ran through her mind - turn that damn thing off!

She clenched her hand into a fist and brought it down. A satisfying smashing noise was heard as her fist made contact with the device. So what if she broke it? She could buy a new one. Clocks were cheap tacky things. Easily replaceable. Maybe now she could find one with a decent-sounding alarm.

Or maybe she wouldn't need to, as despite it being broken, the clock continued to ring...

Rubbing her eyes again, she sat up in bed as her eyes adjusted to her surroundings. She was sure she had crushed that clock. She had felt it smash beneath her hand. How could it still be ringing? When she looked at her bedside table, she felt her heart sink.

The clock was completely intact. It didn't have a scratch on it. It was still blaring away looking absolutely fine. Broken shards of glass and a small black frame surrounded it. She had indeed hit something. She didn't need perfect vision to tell what it was.

Her glasses.

"Oh hell," she groaned. The alarm clock cared nothing for her plight as it drilled its screeches into her head. She picked up the inconsiderate device with her semblance and threw it against the wall. This time it did break and was finally silenced. Now there were two broken necessary things in her room.

She hated alarm clocks.

[/]

" _Uh, Weiss? I just checked my bank account, and I noticed that two thousand lien had been added to it. Do you know anything about this?"_

" _Indeed I do. I put it all there this morning. Now before you start getting excited, this is not money for your leisure. This money is for Goodwitch."_

" _What, why? Is she broke?"_

" _No."_

" _Am I taking her out for dinner? It's a bit soon for that, don't you think?"_

" _No, nothing like that. My source has informed me that our dear teacher has had something of a… smashing morning."_

" _A what?"_

" _A smashing morning. You know, smash? Like when something breaks?"_

" _I'm not following you."_

" _It's a pun! I'm trying to do a pun!"_

" _Oh… right…"_

" _Ugh, forget it. Anyway, she had an incident involving her alarm and tragically broke her glasses in the process."_

" _Oh, is that why she's wearing those big, stupid, pink ones? I was wondering why she was wearing those today."_

" _Quite. My source tells me she was trying to turn off her alarm by hitting it with her fist, but missed and hit her glasses instead. A bit of cruel irony if you ask me."_

" _Ah yes, this mysterious source of yours who keeps pulling info out of her butt. And now she spies on people in their homes. I've changed my mind, I don't wanna meet her anymore."_

" _Don't worry, you won't. Now, on to the matter at hand. Goodwitch can't do much without her glasses. Those pink ones are fine for now, but they are no substitute for her original ones. Also, they're hideous. She needs a better pair, and that's where you come in. You will use that money to go into Vale today and buy her some new ones."_

" _Two thousand_ _lien for glasses? My sister's only cost her sixty."_

" _These aren't basic, run-of-the-mill specs we're talking about. These are specifically designed for hunters. They come with night-vision and can assess an enemies weak points. The greater the function, the higher the cost."_

" _They make glasses that can do all that? Man, I need to get myself a pair of those…"_

" _One step at a time. Goodwitch needs those glasses if she's to do her job. Who else to deliver her a new pair but her loyal assistant? There's a shop that sells them in Vale. You are to go there today and buy them for her. I don't think I need to tell you how grateful she'll be when you do."_

" _No problem. One pair of new glasses coming up."_

" _That's the spirit. Now get to it."_

" _... Ohhhh, I get it."_

" _Get what?"_

" _Smashing morning. Because she broke her glasses. I get it now."_

" _... yes…"_

" _You need to say what happened first before you make the pun. Otherwise, it doesn't make sense."_

" _... I'll bear that in mind…"_

" _How have you lived with Yang all this time and not know how to make a pun-?"_

" _Just go!"_

" _Eek!"_

[/]

The traffic light beamed green from across the street.

" _Make sure you look both ways,"_ Weiss said.

"I know how to cross the street, Weiss" Jaune groaned quietly enough in case somebody heard him.

" _I'm just looking out for you,"_ she said.

He rolled his eyes. He wasn't four years old. He looked both ways and made it across without a scratch on him. Thank God Weiss had reminded him to do that. Whatever would he do?

He did wonder how she was able to see him right now. Their earpieces didn't record video. She probably hired her professional stalker to keep an eye on him. He cautiously looked around for any suspicious-looking girls recording him.

He didn't have to worry too long as he finally reached his destination - _Super Specs_. This was the place Weiss had been talking about - a quaint little shop located in a quiet area of Vale. Phase one was complete. Now all he had to do was go in, buy the goods, and then return to Glynda as a hero. And if he was lucky, he could get this all done before lunch. They were serving pizza in the cafeteria today. Truly this was a day of good fortune.

The little bell above the door rang as he entered. There was hardly anybody else in the shop aside from the middle-aged clerk behind the counter, and a fat man standing in the corner eating a kebab with several others in his big meaty hand. Soft music from the radio played overhead. It was a cosy place. He didn't get many hunter vibes from it.

Rows of glasses littered the isles. Some were small dainty spectacles, others were wide huge things that looked like they were designed for people with freakishly large heads. It was quite amazing how many different glasses there were. He had never needed glasses himself, so there was no point in him ever going into a glasses shop. In fact, this was his first time in one. He didn't know where to start looking.

" _The brand you want is the Reconspecs Model 4,"_ Weiss informed him. _"It's one of the newer models, so be on the lookout for obnoxious advertisements popping out at you."_

That was surprisingly easier said than done. Jaune looked hard but couldn't seem to find them. The shop wasn't even that big a place. He had managed to cover the entire shopping floor at least three times in a matter of minutes and still couldn't see Model 4's.

There was the Model 1, 2 and 3. There were other glasses advertised claiming they did the same thing as the Model 4, but none of these would be good enough. Weiss was strict with her words. If he wasn't buying the Model 4, he wasn't buying anything. Especially since it was with her money.

"I don't see them," he whispered to her.

" _Try asking the man behind the counter,"_ she suggested. _"They might have a spare in the back."_

Jaune looked over to the clerk who was idly tapping the buttons on the cash register. He didn't look busy right now. This would be the perfect time to ask him. He started walking over to him. The clerk heard him coming and immediately stood up straighter.

"And what can I do for you?" The clerk - or Duncan, if his nametag was to be believed - said. He spoke with a thick, gruff accent. Probably a smoker. He had the breath for it.

"Do you have any of the Reconspecs Model 4's available?" Jaune asked.

Duncan chuckled. "Sure do. You're in luck, boy. I got one last pair 'round the back. You wait right there. I'll fish 'em out for you."

He left the till and disappeared into the back room. Jaune tapped his fingers against the counter as he waited for him to return. He wondered what Glynda was doing right now. Probably keeping her eyes to the ground to avoid people's reaction to those glasses she was wearing right now. Weiss was right - they were hideous. Giant, wide-rimmed, pink things that didn't suit her at all.

He couldn't wait to see the look on her face when he delivered her the new glasses. He'd be a literal knight in shining armour. All he needed was a horse to ride in on to complete the image.

Duncan came back with a small box in his hands labelled with the name of the brand he was looking for - _Reconspecs Model 4: Look Beyond the Battlefield._ Perfect.

"Got your glasses right here," Duncan said, putting the box on the table. "You a huntsman or something, boy?"

"Yes, sir. In training."

"Haha, then you've chosen a good buy. Used to be one myself. These bad boys pulled my ass outta the fire during the fall of Mt Glenn."

Jaune frowned. That didn't sound right. "Didn't that happen ten years ago?"

"Ayep."

"Haven't these glasses only been out for a year?"

Duncan's eyes narrowed and his body shifted. "What's your point?" he said in a strangely defensive tone. "Look, are you gonna buy them or just stand there talking 'bout history?"

"Alright, alright, I'm buying," Jaune said, handing over the money to the now grumpy shopkeep. Far be it for him to call someone out on their lies. That would be pretty hypocritical of him, after all.

Whatever. He had the glasses now. It was time to bounce, or whatever it was the cool kids said when it was time to leave.

He made his way towards the exit when he saw several black cars pull up on the other side of the street. They looked way too shady to be owned by normal civilians, and the number of them was concerning. He stopped by the door and waited to see what would happen next.

The doors opened and several men wearing matching black suits and hats filed out of them. Jaune had spent enough time around hunters to know these guys were dangerous. The way they carried themselves meant they were looking for trouble and he immediately notices the red cleavers hanging from their hip.

They were making their way towards the shop…

He pressed his finger to his ear. "White Queen, we have a situation here," he whispered. "I might be back late."

" _Stop calling me that!"_ Weiss hissed. _"And why? What's happening there? My source is on lunch break, I can't see you."_

"Not sure yet. I'll let you know soon."

" _Just stay safe. And whatever happens, make sure nothing happens to the glasses."_

The men entered the shop and started blocking all the aisles. No way were these guys here to shop. Crap. The one day he didn't bring his weapon. Of all the things he was prepared for today, a robbery sure wasn't one of them. He could probably fight them with just his fists. Problem was there were too many of them. He'd get overwhelmed. For now, all he could do was see how things would turn out.

A large white car, almost a limo, pulled up next to the others. Stepping out of it was a man even Jaune recognised. Wearing his signature white bowler hat and trenchcoat, it was none other than the infamous criminal himself - Roman Torchwick.

Walking next to him was some kid with multicoloured hair - a mixture of brown, pink and white. For some reason, she was wearing a corset beneath a white jacket and high heels. Pretty inappropriate clothes for a child. From how short she was, she was obviously very young. He guessed around seven.

They both made their way towards the shop. Roman swung the doors open with dramatic flair as he entered. Several of the men stood aside to give him some room. "Don't mind me, dear customers," he announced cheerfully. "Just doing a bit of daylight shopping. I hear prices are a _steal_ today."

Jaune swallowed. Torchwick was leading these guys? Double crap. He'd need a lot more than fists if he was gonna take on all of them. Not that he felt like he stood a chance. He knew of Torchwick's fighting capabilities. He had managed to deal with Blake and Sun at the same time - two hunters who were leagues above him. He was not just a simple thief. He was a force to be reckoned with.

And here he thought today would be easy...

The thief pushed passed him with the young girl skipping happily in tow. They both made their way to the counter where Duncan was, understandably so, looking a little intimidated. "Duncan, my main man!" Roman beamed. He spoke as if he was greeting an old friend. "How's my favourite shopkeep today? What goodies do you have for me this time?"

The shop owner and supposed former hunter trembled. "I-I'm not looking for trouble, Mr Torchwick sir," he stammered.

"Trouble? Who said anything about trouble? I'm just here to do my shopping. I could use a new pair of glasses. Like, say… those new Reconspecs you've got advertised in the window?" The thief leaned forward on his cane and grinned. "Be a pal and fetch me a pair, will ya?"

Reconspecs…

Jaune looked at the box in his hand and quickly hid it behind his back. No way he could let Torchwick get his hands on them. If he let the thief get his grubby thieving paws on Goodwitch's present, all of this would have been for nothing!

Duncan swallowed. "I, uh, I already sold the last pair I had. I'm fresh out."

Torchwick's grin turned vicious. "Oh, Duncan, you should know better than to lie to me. Customer satisfaction is kind of a serious thing with me. I'm the last person you want a bad review from."

To prove his point, Torchwick aimed his cane directly at his face. Duncan yelped and covered his face with his hands, as if they would protect him from a dust round being shot from point blank range.

Jaune's eyes darted all around. To be expected, Torchwick's goons had covered all the exits. He wouldn't be getting out the front door. Jumping out the window was probably a bad idea too. But he couldn't help in his current situation. He had no weapon and his hands were holding the glasses. For now, all he could do was hope no one noticed-

"Wait, wait!" Duncan cried. "That kid! The blond kid over there! He was the one I sold 'em too! He's got 'em!"

Or he could be ratted out. That worked too.

Jaune gulped when Torchwick immediately turned his attention to him. He shot Duncan a quick glare for his betrayal, but the shopkeeper was already hiding under the counter to notice. His anger didn't last long as the thief got closer. He was the only man who could wear mascara and still look intimidating. Being ginger didn't help either. If Nora and Penny had taught him anything, gingers were not to be underestimated.

"This kid here?" The thief eyed him up and down. "Sheesh, talk about taking candy from a baby. I'm almost gonna feel bad about this. Kid, why don't you save us both the trouble and hand those glasses over? I don't know what Duncan charged you, but his prices are a rip-off. I'd hate to see you get robbed by two crooks on the same day."

Even though the thief could absolutely destroy him, Jaune couldn't let it end that easily. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said in a way he hoped sounded convincing.

"Hey, boss. He's holding the glasses behind his back," one of the goons said.

Oh, for the love of- what was this? Apparently it was okay to be a snitch in the underworld!

Torchwick sighed sadly. "First Duncan, now you. Why is it so hard for folks to tell the truth these days? Can't a man make an honest robbery without all this deceit? Oh well, the truth comes out eventually. Neo, I'll let you take over this one."

Jaune felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around, causing him to hold the box out in front of him. There wasn't much point trying to hide it now anyway. He saw the little girl smiling sweetly at him. She pulled out a large sign from seemingly out of nowhere and held it up. He took a moment to read the words written on it.

' _Boo!'_

Aaah! How shocking!

Jaune yelped in fright and threw his arms up in the air. The box went flying for a moment before heading back down to earth. The girl easily caught them and walked over to hand them to Torchwick. Jaune took a moment to collect himself and slow his heart down, only to then realised what had happened.

When he looked at Torchwick again, the thief had the box tucked under his arm like he owned them. Which at this point, he kinda did. He smirked at both Jaune and Duncan. "Now that's what we call 'karma'," he said. "Think next time you decide to lie to me. Come on, Neo, boys. We're done here."

And just like that, the battle was over. The thief walked passed him without so much as looking at him. None of them did. When the door swung shut, he was left alone with the truth. And Duncan, and the fat man who was still eating kebabs and seemingly undeterred by the whole thing, but mostly the truth.

He had been robbed! Swindled! Duped!

" _Jaune, what's going on in there?"_ His earpiece crackled and he heard the voice of Weiss.

He pressed his fingers to his ear and spoke. "Weiss, it's terrible. I've been robbed! Swindled! Duped!"

" _Slow down! What are you talking about?"_

"Roman Torchwick and his daughter came into the shop and stole the glasses from me. They've just left now. That was the last pair the shop had, as well."

" _I see…"_ Weiss went silent for a moment. She was probably planning a contingency plan. She always was the brains of this operation. _"Then I suppose it can't be helped. You'll have to go after him."_

Then again, maybe he gave her too much credit.

"You want me to do what?" Jaune cried. "Uh, Remnant to Weiss, did you not hear what I said? _Roman Torchwick_ stole the glasses from me!"

" _Yes, yes, I know. I also heard you say he stole the last pair in the shop. You don't have a choice. You have to get them back!"_

This girl was out of her mind. "Can't I just get a different brand?" he tried reasoning with her. "Or I can just wait until there's a new stock available. That'll be much safer than what you're suggesting."

" _There's no time for that! The next batch won't be dispatched until next week, by which time Goodwitch's reputation will be tarnished. She can't go another day wearing those hideous things she's got now. She needs those Reconspecs, Jaune!"_

"But he'll beat me up!"

" _This is about more than a few broken bones!"_ Weiss snapped. _"This is about defending your lady's honour! You're doing this for her, remember? Even if you do fail, she'll find it admirable that you tried fighting for her. It's a win-win situation!"_

"But… he'll beat me up!"

" _You have to do this, Jaune,"_ Weiss insisted. _"Besides, you paid for those with my money. So technically, he's robbing both of us, and I don't take kindly to that. I thought you'd be jumping at this opportunity. Aren't knights all about dying with honour?"_

"That's samurai!"

" _Same thing - both are outdated concepts. Now go! Hop to it!"_

She hung up, leaving him to grumble. He added this day to the list. It was a list he had been making over the years of the unluckiest days of his life. This went way beyond the time he got bullied by Cardin. The only way this day could get worse was if the leader of CRDL was waiting outside to give him a wedgie on his way out the door.

Or if Torchiwck killed him. Yeah, that would suck.

If he was gonna follow Weiss' suicidal orders, he needed a plan. He couldn't fight Torchwick head on. No way, no how. He probably couldn't get away with stealing from him either. The guy was a master thief. He wasn't gonna fall for the 'look behind you' trick that worked on him as a kid. He just needed to get the glasses out of his hands. Maybe he could make him drop them. But how?

His gaze turned to the great leviathan of a man eating the kebabs. His shirt was drenched in chicken grease, a stain that would likely never come out. Still, he continued to eat as the juices trickled down him, all over his already ruined clothes...

Eureka! The perfect plan came to mind.

Jaune quickly grabbed all twenty kebabs out of the man's hands. The fatty didn't seem bothered by this and continued to bite at the air as if he was still eating one. Jaune then quickly ran outside to where Torchwick was. Thankfully, the thief hadn't reached his car yet. There was still time.

"Hey!" Jaune shouted across the street. To be honest, there was a good chance this plan could go horribly wrong, but at least it was better than challenging Torchwick to a fight. If the plan worked, Roman wouldn't be able to fight at all…

The thief turned around. He looked at Jaune with a confused expression. "Uh, yeah? Do I know you?"

Jaune blinked. What did he just say? "You robbed me!" he exclaimed.

"Uh, I've robbed a lot of people, kid. You gotta be specific."

"You robbed me seconds ago!"

Torchiwck actually took a moment to try and remember. After a bit of pondering, his expression brightened. "Oh yeah! I remember now! Yeah, you're the one I got these from." He waved the box around and chuckled. "Sorry, kiddo. You rob enough people and they all start looking the same. Don't take it personally. Or do. I don't care."

This was a new low for Jaune. Not only was he a victim of a robbery, but he was also apparently a bland one too. Having suffered from bullying most of his life, he thought he was the master of victimhood. It was basically his talent. After hearing this… he still had a ways to go.

Ugh, whatever. He could mope about it later. He had to remember the plan. "Gimme back my glasses!" he yelled.

The thief blinked slowly at the demand. He looked at the box under his arm and then back at Jaune. His expression was blank. Jaune couldn't tell what he was planning. It made him feel on edge.

"Okay," Torchwick eventually said.

Jaune's heart skipped a beat. "Really?" he asked, completely thrown off. Was it really gonna be that easy?

The thief held his gaze for a while before his facade finally broke. An ear-splitting grin stretched across his face. "Nope," Torchwick said happily. "See, now you know how it feels to be lied to. Doesn't feel so good now, does it?" He gave Jaune a cheeky wink and turned his back to him. "Okay, see ya."

Negotiations had failed. That being said, he would give Torchwick one last chance to surrender peacefully. "Come back!" Jaune shouted.

The thief didn't slow down. Jaune had no choice. He had to go through with his plan. He just hoped to all that was holy that it would work. If it failed, he would be a dead man. He swallowed his fear, took aim with one of the kebabs, and threw it at Torchwick's back.

The meat sailed through the air like a greasy spear of justice. Jaune's aim was true as it headed straight for the unsuspecting thief. The world went quiet as Jaune held his breath. Birds stopped tweeting. The sun grew darker. The chicken cast a dark shadow over Torchwick as it began its final descent.

One of the goons saw the incoming projectile, but it was already too late to shout out a warning. No amount of training or reflexes could prevent what was coming. Jaune almost pitied the man. To see such ignorance be shattered in such a grim way was a beautiful, yet heartbreaking form of tragedy.

 _Splat_

The kebab landed with a soft impact against Roman's back and dropped to the ground. The assault had been short, silent, but devastating. The big brown stain on Roman's back was proof of that. What was once a flawless white coat now had a blotch on it that was impossible to ignore. From the looks of it, it would take weeks for the stain to wash out.

Roman howled and dropped to one knee. Using his cane to pick himself up again, he turned around to Jaune with fire in his eyes. "What the hell are you doing?" he roared. "What was that?" When he saw the ruined kebab at his feet, his face whitened. "You… you bastard!" he whispered in horror.

"That's what you get!" Jaune shouted back.

The thief took off his coat and inspected the stain. It almost looked like there were tears in his eyes for a moment. For the sake of his eyeliner though, Torchiwck blinked them back. "You monster! Do you have any idea what you've done? This thing cost a thousand lien! I mean, I didn't pay for it, but still!"

"Gimme back my glasses!" Jaune repeated with a small foot stomp.

If looks could kill, Jaune would be as dead as disco. "I ain't giving you anything!" Torchwick flared. It seems his pride hadn't been broken yet. But if being shoved into lockers for much of his school life had taught Jaune anything, it was that all pride could be shattered.

"Then take this!" Jaune wailed and started throwing more kebabs at him. This time there was no mercy. The bombardment of chicken decimated the thief's defences. The thief tried blocking them with his cane, only to realise he was getting his weapon dirty in the process. Panicking, he tried using the box as cover.

"Stop! Stop it!" he shouted. His words fell on deaf ears. Overcome by the raging bloodlust of war, Jaune's kebabs thundered down on him like the judgment of the gods. The henchmen were smart enough to get to cover, leaving Torchwick all alone against the brutal assault.

So much destruction in such a short amount of time. But such was the way of war. Torchwick, now kneeling on the ground in a broken mess, was almost unrecognisable. Chicken grease coated him and he gave off a strong smell of poultry. Needless to say, he was looking very unfabulous right now. He tried standing up, but his greasy knees buckled under him and he collapsed.

Still desperately clutching onto the box, he snarled at Jaune with brown-stained teeth. "I've had enough of this," he growled. "Neo! Sic him!"

The little girl who had stayed out of the fray until now charged at him. She whipped out a parasol and raised it over her head. Her clothes were also stylish and spotless. The perfect target for a kebab. Jaune came to peace with what he had to do. The child was a necessary sacrifice.

He casually threw a kebab her way.

 _Splat_

It hit her jacket and left behind a similar stain to the one on Torchwick's. The girl's eyes widened when she saw the stain. She immediately dropped to the ground and started frothing at the mouth. Her body began to violently spasm in the dirt until she became deathly still. Her fingers occasionally twitched, but that was the only movement that came from her.

"No!" Torchwick cried. He summoned enough strength to move his body and crawled over to her. He cradled the child in his arms. It was funny - Jaune didn't think the thief was capable of compassion. "No, Neo! Are you alright? Say something!"

For some reason, the girl slapped him when he said that.

"Fair enough." Torchwick turned to his men. "Alright, screw it. You boys get outta here! Retreat!"

They didn't need to be told twice. The goons turned tail and ran across the road-

-only to all be hit by a huge truck that came out of nowhere. They all went flying into the sky until they disappeared from sight. A small twinkle came from above, and then all trace of them was gone.

"Damn it, I told them to look both ways!" Torchwick groaned. With the last of his defences gone and his crew destroyed, it was fair to say that he had lost this fight. All that was left was for Jaune to claim his victory.

He stood over the defeated thief with a fierce glare. He wasn't the meek boy he had been mere moments ago in the shop. He had the kebabs and the willpower to see his mission through to the end. It was rare for him to give in to such malice. He felt he could rein himself in, but if Torchwick did anything stupid… he wasn't sure he'd be able to control himself…

He held a kebab menacingly, watching its grease drip to the ground close to where Torchwick was sitting. The thief quickly scrambled away from the brown liquid like it was acid. The thief was completely at his mercy.

"Don't make me say it again," Jaune whispered coldly. "Give. Me. The. Glasses."

Torchwick looked like he wanted to argue, but his fighting spirit was extinguished. It took only one look at the kebab to snuff out his flame. He glared at Jaune hatefully. "Fine, take the stupid things! They're not worth the trouble!" He spat. He looked at the state he was in and groaned. "Ah geez, what a mess. C'mon, Neo. We're going to a laundromat." He stood up, carrying the comatose girl in his arms and ran down the street.

Jaune watched as the criminal scurried off. Peace had been restored. The glasses lay on the ground, now free for him to pick up. Wow… he had won...

A surge unlike anything Jaune had felt before coursed through him. Newfound energy he never knew existed suddenly awakened inside of him. His body felt like it was burning up, and yet he had never felt better. His heart could barely contain such energy and started going into overdrive, thumping furiously in his chest.

Ah… so this was victory? He had heard stories about it. How people occasionally _won_ battles rather than lost them. He never thought it would happen to him until now. He could get used to this.

And it wasn't over yet!

Jaune smiled and picked up the box. He pressed his finger to his ear. "White Queen, the situation has been restored. Making delivery now."

[/]

Glynda was quite content to spend the rest of the day in her office. At least until she had to go home.

She knew the students were mocking her. Oh, they never said anything to her face. She'd give them credit, they weren't _that_ stupid. But she could hear the whispers. The snickers as she walked down the hallway, or when she was teaching her class. The first years mostly kept their mouths shut, but the older students were more brazen with their words.

" _Oh my God, what is she wearing?"_

" _Heh. Nice glasses, Ms G."_

" _My grandma has a pair just like that."_

She heard every single jab and couldn't do anything about it. Sending the entire student body to detention would be too much work.

It wasn't fair. Bart got away with wearing glasses the size of soccer balls, but she got criticised for having a new style? They worked! That's what mattered in the end! Who cares if they were pink… and had a little flower on the edge… and were the most hideous things she had ever worn…?

Oh, this was a nightmare! Qrow must have been nearby because she had never been this unlucky before. It would be a while before she could get a new pair. For now, she had to suffer through this misery.

Curse the students! Curse alarm clocks! Curse everything!

 _Knock knock_

Oh Gods, not more people! The last thing she needed was social interaction. She wanted to be as isolated as possible. "Come in," she groaned. If it was an urgent matter, she couldn't let her personal wants get in the way.

It was none other than Jaune Arc who walked into her office. He wasn't scheduled to assist her today, so his presence was odd. To her knowledge, he wasn't one of the fools talking behind her back. He had gone through such lengths to get on her good side lately, so it was unlikely he was blathering. She held back her frustration for now.

"Hey, Ms Goodwitch," he smiled. "You look very… um… hey, Ms Goodwitch."

Delightful. Even the help thought she looked stupid. How she loathed these pink monstrosities on her face.

"Can I help you, Jaune?" she said, trying to keep her temper in check. "Last I checked, we have no appointments today."

"Yeah, I know," he said. "Actually, I'm here for a different matter. I heard about what happened to your old glasses. I think the whole school knows. I'm not saying there's been gossip, but-"

"Mr Arc… please!"

He quickly nodded. "Sure. Anyway, I felt bad about what happened, so I kinda went out and got you these." He pulled out from behind him a small rectangular box and placed it on her desk.

She frowned. A present? From a student? She felt conflicted about that. On one hand, it was sweet of him to try and ease her suffering. On the other hand, she wasn't looking for pity, least of all from a student. Call her prideful, but she considered herself able to overcome her suffering on her own.

That said, she wasn't about to turn it away, whatever it was. It would be disrespectful to push away his efforts at helping her. She adjusted her glasses and inspected the box. The brightly coloured abominations served their purpose and allowed her to read the words written on it.

She gasped. Her eyes had to be deceiving her. She quickly blinked and realised they weren't.

These were the model 4 Reconspecs!

"Hehe, does that mean you like them?" he chuckled.

Like them? These were the best glasses a hunter could ask for! She had always considered getting a pair, but they were so expensive when they first came out. Hell, they still were even after a year. She had just settled with using her old pair.

"What in the… but…" She was at a loss for words. Jaune was just a student! How could he afford these? And if he could, why not keep them himself?

"They're supposed to be really good," he said casually. "I've still got the receipt if something's wrong with them though. But they should work much better than those things you've got right now. No offence."

Absolutely none taken. She stared up at him in disbelief. "You bought these for me?"

He rubbed the back of his head and smiled sweetly. "Sure. It's not a big deal, really."

Not a big-? She couldn't remember the last time someone had done something so sweet for her. The most she got from people was her mother sending her a 'Best Teacher' mug for her birthday five years in a row. This was beyond the level of kindness she was used to.

"Mr Arc, I… I honestly don't know what to say." 'Thank you' felt too small. There weren't enough positive words in the dictionary to describe her gratitude.

"Don't mention it. I'm your assistant, remember? It's my duty to help you. Anyway, I get that you're busy, so I'll get outta your hair. Enjoy the new glasses." He gave her a nod and walked out of her office, gently shutting the door behind him.

Glynda sat dumbfounded in her chair. To think earlier today this was shaping up to be one of the worst days of her life. Now her student/newly appointed assistant had dropped a bombshell in her lap shaped like a pair of brand new glasses. Had her senses not been sharpened from the misery of this morning, she would've assumed this was all a dream.

The Reconspecs. They were functional, stylish, and exactly what she needed. It was the best gift for her money could buy. Jaune Arc didn't have to do this for her, but he bought them anyway. All because he wanted to help her...

It was wrong for a teacher to have favourite students, but he was quickly working his way to the top. First he became her assistant and now this. His value to her was increasing by the day. She looked at the gift in her hand, eager to tear the box open and try the glasses on.

She noticed something out of the corner of her eye. She held the box up close to inspect it. She frowned in confusion.

Was that a chicken grease stain on the box?

* * *

 **As of finishing this chapter, requests are now closed!**

 **Exxxtra Credit returns with a smash. Jaune has ranked further up the Goodwitch foodchain. How will Goodwitch repay him for such a kind act? Will Torchwick ever get those stains out? Does anyone even read these author's notes?**

 **Find out next time on Exxxtra Credit.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm ill and I'm proof-reading. Let's do this.**

* * *

 **Cover art - Imyoshi**

* * *

Another day, another dollar. Whatever that was.

If there was one word to describe what it was like being Goodwitch's assistant, it would be 'paperwork'. Because there was plenty of it. Goodwitch's office was basically the dumping ground for every other teachers' paperwork that they were either too lazy to do themselves, or too incompetent to be trusted with. That was a secret Goodwitch shared with him, one that she made him swear he must never repeat outside the office.

If anyone he knew was given such a responsibility, they'd probably burn the school down with the people who gave them such a hellish task still inside. Yes, he could even see someone like Pyrrha and Weiss doing that. Everyone had a wicked side.

But not Goodwitch. She was the very model of discipline. She accepted her workload without complaint. The most you could get out of her was a small eye-twitch, but then she'd get straight to it. Jaune couldn't think of a time he had been in her office without there being a fountain of paperwork on her desk. Today was no different. It was amazing how her desk didn't collapse under the weight of all that paper.

Much of his duties consisted of filing her finished papers in a neat order. It was dull, mundane work, and despite his aura, he always seemed to manage to get a papercut. Occasionally, he was asked to do something different like make her tea, but for the most part, he was just cleaning up after her. It was lame, but it kept him close to her. That was the most important thing at the end of the day.

He had just finished organising another pile of dead trees. This paperwork was for Port's third-year class. So, he wasn't just lax with the first years, he was like that with everyone? Good to know. He learned something new about the Beacon staff every day doing this. He was becoming quite the natural at his job. Goodwitch never told him to pick up the pace, Weiss never criticized him for doing a job poorly. All in all, things were going smoothly.

He slid another finished paper into a file and stacked it with the others. He couldn't hear the sound of Goodwitch's pen anymore. That was odd. She usually started a new one immediately when he was tidying up. He turned around to see what was wrong. He was met with a pleasant surprise.

There wasn't a single piece of paper left on her desk. It was all gone. Goodwitch looked down at her desk, frozen in her chair. Her mouth was agape and her eyes were wide. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"Goodness," she whispered. "I'm… I'm finished. I'm actually finished."

" _This is your chance. Compliment her,"_ came the ever insightful voice of Weiss.

"Don't be so surprised, Ms Goodwitch," he responded. "We make a good team, and you're a hard worker."

"I am surprised," she said. "This is the first time I've ever completed a workload in a single afternoon. Usually, it takes me one or two days at the most. Either these new glasses are already broken, or there really is nothing left to do."

The former was very unlikely. Those Reconspecs she was wearing looked as good as what they did when he first bought them. She loved those things. She wouldn't let even the smallest spec of dust touch the lenses, much less have them break.

"So, what do you want me to do now?" he asked.

"I must admit, I don't really know. I've never been in this situation before. And I don't have any other tasks you can help with. I suppose you free to go if you so desire."

"What will you do?"

She hummed. "What will I do, indeed. I'm not used to having free time. I don't know what I'll do. I'll probably just go to the staffroom and relax there. I might plan some hobbies for myself if this ever happens again while I'm there. You're free to do whatever you like, of course."

The staffroom? That wasn't good. He wasn't allowed in there, assistant or not. Goodwitch might as well be on the moon if she went in there. They had thirty minutes and he was sure he could charm her more in that time. They had barely spoken to each other today due to all the paperwork, and he wasn't ready for her to slip away just yet.

He needed to distract her. What was it she had said to him that one time? Something about how she was always stuck in her office? Maybe he could work with that?

"You know, I could use some combat practice," he said, thinking on his feet. "Do you wanna spar with me for a bit?"

She frowned. "Spar with you?"

" _What are you playing at, Jaune?"_ Weiss said in his ear.

"I just think it's a waste if we spend the next thirty minutes doing nothing," he explained. "We might as well do something productive with our time. I know the training ring will be free. No one uses it during breaks."

The training ring was probably the only appropriate place he could take her. The staffroom was a no-no, and anywhere else would just look weird. Call him crazy, but he had the feeling Goodwitch wouldn't appreciate being invited to go to A Simple Wok.

"Are you asking me to be your opponent, Mr Arc?" she asked. "I'm flattered, but I don't think it would be a fair fight. I have many years of combat experience, you wouldn't be able to keep up. You understand, yes?"

"I'm not saying we have to go all out," he explained. "It'd just be a friendly spar. Plus, didn't you once tell me that you rarely had the chance to fight anymore due to your job? Far as I'm concerned, this seems like a perfect opportunity to have one."

He could see her contemplating the idea. His persuasive tongue was as sharp as his sword. Weiss would be proud.

" _This is asking for trouble."_

Weiss would be disappointed.

"Hmm, it has been a while, hasn't it?" Goodwitch hummed with a smile on her face. He had her.

"If you ask me, this is what we need," he said, going in for the kill. "We've been stuck in here doing boring paperwork for ages. There's no healthier way to let out our frustrations than with a good clean fight, am I right?"

That did the trick. He could see a tidal wave of emotions flitter across her eyes; anger about thinking about the paperwork, relief that it was over, and excitement for what was to come now. All these feelings formulated into one answer that worked in his favour.

"Very well. I accept," she said. Music to his ears. "Head to the training arena and prepare yourself. I will be with you shortly."

"Great. I'll see you soon." He turned to leave and headed for the door. This was great. Alone in a less formal environment with Ms Goodwitch. He was certain he could find some way to be charming in between fighting her. People often said love was a battlefield, so this was about as romantic it got.

He went to open the door when he felt something holding his arm in place. It was like an invisible hand was gripping him. When he looked down, he was surprised to see a purple aura covering his arm. It was Goodwitch's semblance. She was stopping him…

"There is one thing you should know, Mr Arc," she said behind. He didn't need to turn around to know she was smiling. There was something in her voice that gave him shivers. It was sinister and very un-Goodwitch. "It's been a long time since I've had a good fight, and I don't believe in going too easy on my opponents. You best keep that in mind when we duel."

At his time in the academy, Jaune had escaped death many times. It had gotten to the point where he had developed something of a sixth sense for when his life was in danger. It felt like a cold shadow enveloping his entire body even when it was sunny. He felt it here now…

"Uh, sure. Thanks for the heads up, Ms Goodwitch," he stammered. Something was wrong here.

"But of course. I'd hate to see my assistant get hurt." He felt her hold on him released. "See you inside, Mr Arc."

He left the office a little too quickly and headed for the locker rooms. That was spooky. Not enough to scare him away from his plan, but still spooky nonetheless. As he made his way there, he decided that the only thing scarier than a strict Ms Goodwitch was a happy one. But that then led to another question.

Which one was more dangerous?

[/]

Armour? Check. Sword? Check. Charisma? Someone call the bank because he had three fat checks to collect.

In truth, he didn't expect to stand much of a chance against Goodwitch. But that wasn't the point. He just needed more alone time with her. If that meant giving her a chance to release the beast in the ring, then it was worth it. It'd be another thing she'd be grateful to him for. So really, he'd be the real winner after this. A winner with broken bones, sure, but still a winner.

" _Are you sure you want to do this? This feels like a bad idea,"_ Weiss told him.

He was having none of her negativity today. "Come on, Weiss. Bad ideas are just successes waiting to happen."

" _Never go into business, Jaune."_

"I'll be fine. So, what advice does your professional stalker have for fighting Goodwitch?"

" _What makes you think my source knows anything about how she fights?"_

"Because she does."

" _... fair enough,"_ Weiss mumbled. _"As I'm sure you're aware, Goodwitch relies heavily on her semblance in combat. Telekinetic semblances are tricky to deal with, but there's a way around everything. Goodwitch can only use it on something she's concentrating on. If you find a way to break her focus, she won't be able to use it on you. That said, don't think her semblance is her only means of offence. As a huntress, she's experienced in most forms of martial arts, so take caution when fighting her close quarters."_

Useful knowledge. Her semblance was his main concern. He had seen the teacher lift huge objects like they were kids toys with nothing but her semblance. With that kind of power, she could crush him without even touching him. He felt a little better prepared now. He could worry about the fist-fighting stuff later.

"So, I should just break her focus and then rush at her before she can use her semblance on me?" he asked. It wasn't the deepest of strategies, but it was the only one he had at the moment.

" _Theoretically, yes. But she has the Reconspecs now. Her vision will be ten times better than yours thanks to those glasses. You'll have to do something quite extraordinary to break her concentration."_

Oh yeah, he had forgotten about those. Yeah, maybe he should have scheduled the fight before giving her something that gave her the eyesight of the Gods. Still, there was always a chance she might _not_ wear them. She was a trained huntress after all. She could fight him blind easily.

"Any other tips?"

" _Don't break too many bones when she throws you to the ground."_

"Eh, I'll take it."

" _Good, because it's all I can offer. Do look after yourself in the ring. I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you."_

He felt fuzzy inside. "Aww, are you worried about me, Weiss?" he teased.

" _Absolutely. If they find your earpiece upon your dead body, I'll be involved in this too. My reputation will be ruined."_

And just when he thought the Ice Queen was starting to melt…

" _I'll be monitoring your progress during the fight. If I spot a weakness in her strategy, I'll let you know. Keep your ears sharp and your skills sharper."_

"Does that mean I should leave my sword blunt?" he quipped.

" _Don't make me hang up on you, Arc,"_ Weiss deadpanned. _"Now get to the ring. It's rude to keep a lady waiting."_

He adjusted his armour one last time, making sure the cheap but durable metal was firmly on his body. For some reason, he felt he was gonna need it. Call him paranoid, but there was something in Goodwitch's voice that left an unsettling feeling in his gut. She was clearly looking forward to this fight which, in theory, was a good thing. This whole idea was designed to make her happy, after all.

But as he made his way to the ring, a part of him felt like he had bitten off more than he could chew. He was reminded suddenly of Nora. She loved fighting too and was super strong. Hell, she was one of the strongest people he knew. But she was only a first year. If you combined her enthusiasm with Goodwitch's skill, you got...

Oh dear.

It was too late to rethink things now. He was already walking up the steps into the ring. Goodwitch was waiting for him. She was smiling. He felt his aura depleting from that alone. She was wearing her usual attire. Someone like her didn't need to suit up like a tin can, unlike him. With her whip in hand, she looked ready to-

-wait, _whip_?

Where was her riding crop? Why did she have a whip?

Held in her hand was some kind of high-tech whip where he had expected her riding crop to be. The metal grip was designed to resemble a King Taijitu's body, with the end of it shaped like the snake's opening maw. It even had a black and white paint job to go with it, along with a canister for storing dust cartridges.

The whip itself served as the snake's tongue. Much like the grip, the whip was also made of metal and had small razors running along it. Unlike the riding crop, the reach on this thing was much longer. It extended several feet away from her. It looked way scarier than what she normally used.

But that was the problem. What the hell was this weapon? Where was the crop? Why wasn't he warned about this?

His answer came seconds later. _"Well, this is unexpected,"_ murmured Weiss, a tinge of awe present in her voice. So, not even her know-it-all stalker knew about this whip. That meant she had no idea how to fight her. One by one, his chances jumped off the bridge of hope and plummeted to their death.

"You've arrived," Goodwitch grinned. She had the eyes of a demon.

"Y-Yeah, here I am," he chuckled nervously. "That's, uh… that's a neat looking weapon you've got there."

She looked fondly at the weapon in her hand. "Impressive, is it not? It is called Cordelia's Bane. This is the weapon I used when I was a full-time huntress. I believe you're the first student in the academy to see it. Consider yourself honoured."

Lucky him…

"But what happened to your riding crop?"

"I only use that for teaching and routine missions," she explained. "It's a useful weapon and a good way of channelling my semblance, but you know what they say: nothing beats the classics. And I'm feeling nostalgic today."

She raised her whip and struck the ground with a mighty crack. Jaune could see a huge fissure in the stone floor from where the whip hit it. A small, dog-like whimper left his lips.

" _Oh my,"_ Weiss whispered in his ear, echoing his horror. _"I suppose it's too late to challenge her to a simple game of chess-"_

"Now then, if you're ready, let us begin!"

She snapped her fingers and the monitors displayed his and her aura. Both of them were at full bars, but Jaune had a feeling he was gonna be in the red in about two seconds. His visions of his impending demise were enough to tilt him into the yellow zone.

But maybe that was a good thing? If he went into the red quickly, Goodwitch would have to stop the fight. No matter how excited she looked, she wouldn't continue if he was low on aura, right? Right?

Before he could think more about it, he frantically raised his shield to block the incoming whip strike moving at lightning speed. The whip slammed against his shield and Jaune thought his arm would break from the recoil. The impact nearly threw him off his feet. He stumbled back but quickly regained his footing. The sound of vibrating metal echoed in the room.

Good Gods, this woman hit hard! He felt like he had tried to block a speeding truck driven by an enraged Yang! His bones rattled in his body like maracas held by someone having a seizure! And that was just from blocking! Imagine if that attack had actually hit him!

" _Goodness, I felt that from here,"_ Weiss gasped. _"Okay, not to worry. I'll come up with a strategy and- ABOVE YOU!"_

Jaune looked up and saw the whip coming straight down with the power of a collapsing building. He jumped out the way just in the nick of time. The ground where the whip hit exploded behind him and the force sent him tumbling across the arena. Covered in bits of debris and coughing away smoke, he wiped the dirt out of his eyes and looked around.

Goodwitch stood further away from him with a devious grin on her face. Wasting no time at all, she snapped her wrist back and the whip was sent hurting towards him again. A little better prepared this time, he managed to slap the strike away with his sword. The whip wavered in the air and immediately snapped back for another strike as if it had a mind of its own.

Every block and counter strike exhausted him. The whip was half the width of his sword, yet it carried so much strength. How could something be so flexible and so powerful? And it was so fast! His eyes could barely keep up with it. If it weren't for Weiss' warnings, he wouldn't know where it was coming from. It was moving so fast, he couldn't even move from his spot. He was stuck in one position, countering and blocking a weapon too fast to see.

"What's the matter, Mr Arc? Having trouble thinking on your feet?" Goodwitch called from miles away. "Let's see if we can fix that!"

Jaune yelped and jumped back from a whip strike aimed at his feet, then to the side when she aimed for them again. Soon, he was stepping side-to-side like he was doing a frenzied tapdance as he desperately tried to avoid Goodwitch's lashes. The fight had been going on for not even a minute and he was already tried and defeated.

" _You have to get a hold of yourself!"_ Weiss said urgently. That was easy for her to say. She wasn't the one fighting the crazy teacher. _"You can't fight her if you keep panicking like that!"_

 _But what am I supposed to do?_ he wanted to stay. Lowering his guard for a second was instant death and this damn whip wasn't letting him go anywhere!

" _Listen, I know how to defeat whip-users. I've sparred with Blake many times. It's important that you-"_

The whip smacked against his face and he went spinning like a ballerina. The world went blurry as his eyes rolled in his head. Colourful polka dots filled his vision and he hit the ground with a crash. IQ points dribbled out of his ears as he looked up at the sky in a daze.

A single groan left his lips. So, _that's_ what it felt like to get hit by that thing. It hurt. Good to know…

He swatted away the birds flying around his head and picked himself up. His head felt two sizes too big for his neck. Goodwitch was at least kind enough to let him find his feet again. In a daze, he pressed his finger to his ear. He could really use Weiss' advice right about now.

His blood turned to ice. The earpiece! It was gone!

He looked to his left and saw the tiny device lying on the floor, now just a broken piece of junk. Goodwitch's strike knocked it out of his ear and destroyed it! Weiss couldn't help him now! He was on his own! Curse it all!

Okay, okay, he could still do this. He had gotten into Beacon without Weiss' help, so he could probably handle Goodwitch by himself. He just needed to pick up his pride. Oh, and his sword. Yeah, that would help too. Now, where did he leave that thing? He couldn't find it on the ground.

"Looking for this?" came the voice of his doom. He looked up and felt the heavy boot of despair kicking him in the balls again.

Suspended in the air was his sword, pointing directly at him. Goodwitch's whip was wrapped around the hilt and held aloft by her semblance. Crocea Mors was now in her possession.

He could see his crestfallen face in the reflection of the blade. There had been many times where he had stared death in the face. He never thought it'd look like him when it was staring back though.

"Um… can I have that back, please?" he squeaked.

He could see Goodwitch's shit-eating grin from across the arena. "Only if you can wrest it free from my grasp. En garde, Mr Arc!"

The sword torpedoed straight for his heart. He blocked it with his shield before his once trusted weapon could cut him open. With no other means of offence, all he could do was block and dodge the blade that was striking at him with surprising grace and style. It was sad when a whip was a better swordsman than him.

This fight was impossible! Goodwitch's skill alone was enough to beat him, but combined with her semblance and now his own sword, she was unstoppable! The only reason she hadn't ended the fight now was because she was enjoying this too much.

Jaune ducked, he dodged, he weaved. Thanks to her semblance, the whip was able to get around his guard and attack his blind spots. He did the best he could, twisting and turning to block the attacks, but he was on his last legs. He hadn't landed a single hit on Goodwitch and she hadn't even moved from her original spot.

He gasped as the whip went over his shield. He ducked before Crocea Mors could cut his head off. Stupid traitorous sword! It wouldn't be getting polished when this was over!

He felt something tug at his shield. He saw the whip wrapped around it, trying to rip it out of his hands! No! This wasn't fair! He pulled back with all his might as he engaged the thieving whip in a fierce tug-of-war battle. That damn whip had the strength of the Grimm it was based on!

The whip suddenly released its grip on his shield, causing him to fall back onto his ass. He heard Goodwitch chuckling darkly. The woman was playing him for a fool.

Screw it! He was a sitting duck here and he couldn't do anything from this distance! In a last-ditch effort and with a mad warcry, he charged her!

Hiding behind his shield, he ran blindly into her personal space. If he could close the distance between them, maybe he could fight her on even ground. He looked over his shield. He was close now.

She smiled back at him, standing still. She was waiting for him.

He raised his shield in an attempt to bash her with it when he was close enough. The shield came a few inches close to her chest and stayed there. He couldn't move his arm. In fact, he couldn't move any part of him. He was frozen!

He looked down and saw the whip had sneaked up behind him and wrapped itself tightly around his waist, keeping him in place. Its grip was too strong to fight against. He might as well have been bound in chains.

"Nice try," Goodwitch smirked.

The world was a blur as the whip quickly coiled up the rest of him, spinning his entire body in the process. It all happened too quickly. When he came to, he saw himself wrapped head to toe. His arms were pinned to his sides. Escape was impossible.

His eyes widened when he saw his sword, still being held by the whip, pointing directly at his throat. He could feel the cold steel nudging against the skin. He desperately tried not to swallow.

"Beg for mercy," Goodwitch commanded in a cold, yet excited voice.

Like he had any other options left.

"I give up," he whimpered.

Goodwitch's eyes narrowed behind her glasses. The whip's grip on him didn't falter. What more did she want from him? He'd gladly get on his hands and knees and sing praises to her if he wasn't wrapped up like this! His legs would've been shaking if they weren't so tightly bound together.

"Hmm, that will have to do for now," she murmured. "You should practice pleading for next time."

 _Next time!?_

Sweet oxygen filled his lungs as the whip's hold on him finally released. Jaune's body felt floppy. He collapsed to the floor and sucked in as much air as he could take. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the whip returning his sword to him. He accepted it with a shaky, gracious hand.

"Let's return to my office," Goodwitch said. "I fancy a spot of tea now."

"I'll be… right with you…" he wheezed. Goodwitch was already walking out of the ring. He'd join her as soon as he could feel his legs again. Perhaps it was his exhaustion playing tricks on him, but he could almost see a small skip in her step. At least someone had enjoyed themselves.

He looked up at the monitors overhead. The clock said they had been fighting for one minute. Longest minute of his life…

[/]

Yup. Goodwitch had definitely enjoyed that fight. When he saw her again in her office, she wore a big smile on her face. He felt like a fly that had just wandered into a spider's web. He resisted the urge to run and set to work making her a cup of tea. The last thing this woman needed was caffeine, but it was his job to serve her and he could tell she wanted a drink.

"How exhilarating," she said. "Nothing gets the blood flowing quite like combat, wouldn't you say?"

"As long as it's not flowing out of me," he chuckled nervously. He looked down at the tea he had made. It was perfect. He handed it to her and sat down in his usual chair.

She took a sip of her tea and hummed, satisfied with the drink. "I must say, that was very kind of you today, Mr Arc. I truly appreciate being given the opportunity to spar once again."

"Oh, it's no problem," he shrugged. "Had I known you loved fighting so much, I would've offered a long time ago."

"'Love' is a strong word. But I won't deny, I do get enjoyment from some of the more thrilling parts of the job. The adrenaline rushing through your veins, the feeling of pride when you stand over a defeated foe… it's all quite exhilarating really."

That was easy for her to say. When you were as strong as her, fighting would be a barrel of fun. For people like him though, he'd be lucky if he could escape with less than ten permanent mental scars.

Also, 'love' was exactly the right word to describe her affection for fighting. Goodwitch had that same nostalgic look on her face that his grandpa had whenever he talked about 'the good old days'. She looked lost in her memories. If he had to guess, she was thinking about the times when she was more active in the field.

When she looked at him again, her smile thinned. "Tell me, what was I like?"

Jaune frowned. "What were you like? What do you mean?"

"When we were fighting. What did I look like? How did I make you feel? Speak now and speak it true."

"Are you asking me to judge your performance back then?"

She hummed. "If that's how you wish to view it, by all means."

That's what it sounded like to him. But there was something in her eyes that suggested it was something else. There was a glint of eagerness behind those emerald orbs, not unlike how she looked when she was destroying him. Something felt wrong here.

But she has asked a request of him, and he couldn't turn her down. He spoke honestly, "I thought you were pretty much unstoppable when we fought. I never expected you to use that whip and had no idea how to fight you. It was… kinda scary actually."

He saw the corner of her lip twitch for a split second. "Interesting," she murmured. "I scared you, did I?"

"Yeah. Sorry, was that rude to say?"

"Not at all. Please, continue."

There was that eagerness again. She hid it well, but the cracks in her mask were showing.

"Um, alright then," he said. "I thought I was gonna die at one point. When you used my own weapon against me, I felt totally helpless. I've only felt that kind of fear when I'm going against really strong Grimm. It makes me glad you're one of the good guys. If you were to turn bad, forgive my language, but we'd all be screwed."

Her fingers clenched in the way they would if she were holding her whip. "Hmm, I can only imagine. It must have been truly frightening - duelling against someone like me, knowing you had little to no chance of survival."

"Survival?"

Her eyes slowly met his. "Victory. I said victory."

He swallowed nervously. "Um, sure."

"Anyway, do go on. I want to hear all about how intimidating I was."

He had prepared a long list of pick-up lines for when he needed to flirt with girls. None of them included the word 'intimidating'. If he had called Weiss that (even if she was a little) he wouldn't blame her for stomping on his heart all those times.

As he told Goodwitch all the many ways she gave him the heebie-jeebies when they were fighting, he couldn't miss the satisfied look on her face the more she learned. She was loving this. She enjoyed inspiring fear. In nature, there are prey and there are predators. Goodwitch was so far up the food chain, she didn't know which way was down.

When he was finished, she looked like a lion after a particularly filling meal. She leaned back in her chair, soaking up the last bit of information like a sponge with Weiss' ego. If this is how girls looked when they were complimented, he never wanted to do it again.

"How interesting," she smiled. "Thank you for your honesty, Mr Arc. It was very… enlightening."

"S-Sure, Ms Goodwitch…"

One of her fingers moved in small, circular motions on her desk. Her expression softened. It was less sinister now and more gentle. "It's been a while since I've commanded that much respect. It takes me back to the days when I myself was a student. Oh, I had some fine hunts back then. Even the Grimm knew better than to get on my bad side. My own team used to call me 'Glyndevil' after they saw me fighting."

 _I can see why_ , was what he was going to say, but he quickly stopped himself. Goodwitch liked being complimented on how scary she was, but how far was too far? If he was unsure of what to say, it was best just to shut up. That's what Weiss had taught him.

"I've been nailed behind this desk for too long," she sighed. "I've lost my edge. I can feel it. I haven't had the chance to properly hone my skills in years. Even as we fought today, I knew my performance was lacking. My glory days were long ago now."

"Are you serious?" Jaune said. "There's no way you're getting rusty. You kicked my butt without even trying."

"That's nice of you to say, Mr Arc, but you're just a student. Fighting you was enjoyable, but not intense."

That was the nicest way someone had ever said "I could break you with one hand tied behind my back" to him.

Looking at her melancholic face made the gentlemanly hero inside him rise to the surface. This was probably the only time Goodwitch would play the damsel-in-distress, so he had to seize the opportunity while it was there. Goodwitch was sad about losing her edge? Not to worry. He could work with that.

"I don't think you have to worry about," he said smoothly, leaning in a little closer and resting his arms on the desk. "Let me tell you a little secret: you're the only teacher in the school all us students universally respect."

Goodwitch brows creased. "What are you talking about?" she asked suspiciously.

"Everyone here knows you're the real deal," he explained. "No one wants to make you mad, not even Yang. It's because you have this natural presence around you that demands respect. None of the other teachers have that; Professor Port's too boring, Doctor Oobleck speaks too fast and Professor Peach… you know, I don't think I've seen her once since I arrived here."

"But you? You're the whole package. You've got the authority to keep us all in line, the intelligence to teach us everything we need to know, and the power to smack around Grimm into tomorrow. I speak for all of us when I say, you're the best teacher we could ask for."

Goodwitch looked at him stunned, face frozen like he had told her the secrets of the universe. He was surprised she wasn't aware of her own reputation. Everyone acted like a goodie-two-shoes in her presence. He once caught Ruby trying to straighten her cloak when she saw her walking down the hall. If you disrespected the rules, you disrespected her. And you did _not_ want to disrespect Glynda Goodwitch.

"Is that true?" she murmured like this was news to her.

"You bet it is. And you know something else? I'm really glad you're a teacher. It's an honour to work under you. Helping you with paperwork is the least I can do to show my gratitude."

And who knows? Maybe she wouldn't kick his ass quite as hard if he did a good job.

He patiently waited for Goodwitch to pick up the pieces of her blown mind. He made a mental note to tell Weiss that Goodwitch liked being told she was scary. He'd have her come up with flirts that related to that. She was a scary person herself, she'd figure something out.

Goodwitch cocked her head and studied him. She adjusted her glasses. "You surprise me every time we meet, Mr Arc," she said. "I think I have you figured out one day, and then you prove me wrong the next."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"You should. I find unpredictable people to be very entertaining. You never know what they're going to do." She tilted her head up slightly and looked at the ceiling. "I met many people like you in the field. They were always the best company. They kept you on your toes."

"I bet none of them were as good looking as me though," he quipped.

Her only response was a small hum. The faintest of smiles appeared on her face. His heart skipped a beat.

The little alarm on her desk beeped once and soured his excitement. Their session was over today. A minute ago, he had been fearing for his life. Now he was begging for just a few more minutes. Screw Port's lesson, he was striking gold here!

"Oh, is it that time already?" Goodwitch said, glancing at the clock. "Well, you best head off to your next lesson then. Thank you for your help today. I wouldn't have been able to finish it all without you. And I do mean that sincerely."

"Not a problem. Glad I could help." He wasn't gonna press to stay a little longer. He wasn't that desperate. He knew when to take his leave. "I'm looking forward to our next session."

"As am I, Jaune. As am I."

He begrudgingly left the office and slugged his way to Port's classroom where two boring lectures awaited him; one from the dreary professor and one from Weiss when she would demand to know what happened back in the arena. His body and mind couldn't handle this much abuse in one day!

A sudden realisation struck him like lighting. He would've stopped dead in his tracks if it hadn't been for the tide of students pushing past him. His eyes gazed into the memory of a few seconds ago.

Did she just call him Jaune?

* * *

 **Yeah, yeah, I made Goodwitch's main weapon a whip. Get your kinky jokes out of your system.**

 **And thus concludes another chapter. How will Jaune fare against another sparring session with her? Will Weiss be upset about the broken earpiece? When will Imyoshi hit the word limit in his reviews?**

 **Find out next time on Exxxtra Credit.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the delay. I was too busy thinking about how I love making everyone wait for updates.**

* * *

 **Cover art - Imyoshi**

* * *

The poster showed a scene Jaune had never experienced in his life - a picture of a happy couple dancing.

The Beacon dance was fast approaching. As part of the Vytal Festival, a ball with all the students and teachers from other academies was to be hosted in the main hall. But it wasn't just any old dance, oh no. This was to celebrate many years of peace between all the kingdoms of Remnant.

Okay, that really didn't mean much to the students, but at least it meant they could all potentially get laid all in the name of peace.

Jaune had already tried to secure a date for it months before it was even announced. It wasn't just Weiss he asked out; he had asked Coco, a transfer student named Emerald, those twins at that club- asking them both out at the same time turned out to be a BIG mistake. He even asked Ren until Nora gave him the 'I'm gonna kill you so hard' eyes. Basically, he was willing to take anyone.

But now, the game had changed. Jaune looked at that poster and saw himself up there, dancing with a certain teacher.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were actually thinking," Weiss said.

Jaune turned around and saw her standing behind him. "I didn't even hear you come in," he said. "How can you be so sneaky in heels? Do you tiptoe or something?"

"We're hunters, Jaune. The clue's in the name. I'd be a pretty poor one if I couldn't apply the element of stealth from time to time."

"Yeah, but… in heels? That's not right."

"Says the boy who insists on wearing heavy armour, clanking around like a tin can."

"It's gotta be safer than wearing a dress."

"Combat skirt," Weiss corrected him.

"Yeah, yeah. What exactly makes it combat suitable again?"

"That-" she said as she poked him in the chest. "-is none of your business. But enough about my fashion sense. It's time we took care of yours."

"We've been over this, Weiss. I ain't throwing away the hoodie. It's a part of me. I unlocked my aura in this thing."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "That's not what I meant- although, believe me, we aren't finished with that atrocity yet. I assume you are aware of the upcoming Beacon Ball?"

"Of course." Even if he didn't care about it, he'd have to be blind to miss all the buzz surrounding it. With all the posters and talk about it, you'd swear it was everyone's last night alive to party.

"Excellent. Now, I don't know what your plans beforehand were, but it doesn't matter, because I've planned out the night for you. You _will_ be attending the ball. And you will offer Professor Goodwitch a dance."

Jaune blinked. He wasn't sure he heard her correctly. "I'm gonna be dancing with Goodwitch?"

"Indeed. It doesn't have to be for the whole night, but you must dance with her at least once. After that, you're free to do as you please."

"I thought you were worried about me being too forward before?" Jaune said. "Don't you think dancing with her is taking a risk?"

"Normally, yes," Weiss agreed. "But after everything you've gotten away with so far, we might as well start taking bolder steps. And it's not as if you have to be her date for the ball. It's just one dance. For all intents and purposes, it's harmless.

"But even though it's one dance, you must keep yourself exclusive to her. Make her feel like she's important to you. That means no flirting with other girls, or asking them to be your date. _Especially_ with girls that aren't interested." Her eyes narrowed into icy daggers. "Don't think I've forgotten about those forty-four invites you sent me," she growled.

Jaune's face paled. "Hehe, you, uh, you got all those?" he chuckled nervously. "I thought they got lost in the mail."

"Oh, they did. Along with the mailman."

How could someone so petite be so menacing?

"I get it, I'll be on my best behaviour," he said. "If a girl so much as looks my way, I'll look somewhere else."

It was unlikely that any would, but a guy could dream.

"I know you will," she said. "But before you can even think about dancing with her, we need to work on your appearance. No matter how close you are now, Goodwitch will not want to be seen with someone looking like a slob. First things first, we need to decide your outfit for the night."

"No need. I've already got a suit. I bought it months ago."

Weiss shook her head. "Absolutely not. You cannot approach her wearing a peasant's suit. I won't allow it."

Jaune's eyes widened. "It's not a peasant's suit!" he cried. "I bought it at a fancy shop! It cost me a lot of money!"

"Oh yes," Weiss droned. "I'm sure a student's budget allowed you to afford only the highest quality of clothing. No doubt you only wear the same outfit every day to appear humble."

There was so much sarcasm in her tone, he could taste it.

"I'm not trying to insult you," she rectified. "I'm simply stating facts. You bought something cheap because it's all you can afford. And you know what else? - every other boy will be wearing the same thing, because it's all they can afford too. You need something that will help you stand out from the other students, give you an air of maturity. You need a designer brand."

Jaune raised an eyebrow. "A designer brand? Do you know how much that last suit cost me? We can't all be rich like you."

Weiss wagged her finger. "Correction, I'm not rich, Jaune - I'm _very_ rich. And luckily for you, you don't need to be. That's what I'm here for. I'm happy to pay for it myself."

"Hmm…"

Weiss frowned. "What do you mean 'hmm'?"

"Normally, I'd be happy and humbled that you'd pay for something so expensive for me, but you've already spent so much already. Makes me wonder if I'm racking up a debt here."

"This is for the benefit of both of us, remember?" Weiss reminded. "I'm willing to pay whatever cost if it gets you to stop flirting with me. Besides, the price doesn't concern me. The cost of any suit - designer or otherwise - is barely a ripple in my cash pool."

And the award for the most humble thing ever said goes to…

"What should I do with my old suit then?" he asked.

"Sell it, burn it, give it to charity, I don't care. Just don't wear it on the night. You're Goodwitch's dance, and Goodwitch's dance doesn't dress like a student. Now then, what are you doing right now?"

"Nothing."

"Not anymore," she said. "If you're free, then you're coming with me to get a new suit. And I know just the place to buy one. We'll leave immediately."

"Can I at least get something to eat first-?"

"Immediately!"

"... immediately," he grumbled.

"Immediately," she beamed proudly. "Oh, and before I forget, this is for you."

She gave him an envelope, which already put him on edge. It wasn't Christmas or his birthday, so getting a letter now was a bad sign. It had the Schnee family emblem printed on it.

"What's this?" he asked.

"A bill regarding the damage costs for the earpiece," Weiss said.

A bill for- say what?

He tore it open and scanned the contents of the paper inside. Holy hotdogs, that was a lot of numbers!

"What the hell, why are you giving me this?" he cried.

"You broke the earpiece during your sparring match," Weiss said simply. "Someone has to pay for repairs, and it might as well be the one who broke it."

"That was Goodwitch, not me!"

"Well, I can't charge her for it, can I? And since it was your responsibility to look after it, that leaves only you."

"I thought you said I wasn't in debt to you?"

Weiss rolled her eyes. "This is hardly me collecting debt. This is just you taking responsibility for your recklessness."

"But look at this thing! This is more than I can afford in three lifetimes! How am I supposed to repay you?"

"Good question. Let me know when you come up with a good answer. You can ponder about it today. Now, onward!"

Weiss pulled him by the wrist towards the land of fancy suits and other stylish clothing, leaving him to think about his impending financial crisis in silence.

[/]

'Welcome to Better Vale' read the fancy sign atop the gate to Vale's rich district. The guard outside the gate was doing everything in his power to avoid looking at Jaune. His eyes were completely on Weiss.

"At ease, Mortimer," Weiss greeted him as they approached him.

Mortimer cracked a smile. "Ah, Ms Schnee," he said in an upper-class voice Jaune couldn't even afford to imitate. "It's always a pleasure to see you again."

"Likewise. Now then, I suspect you'll be wanting to see my papers?"

"Protocol must be followed. Though since it's you, I doubt there will be any problems."

Weiss' 'papers' was actually just a bank statement. You had to have a certain level of wealth if you wanted to enter the rich district. Anything short of a hundred-thousand was considered unacceptable.

"Yes, yes," Mortimer hummed, scanning his eyes over the paper. "Everything seems to be quite in order as always." He then cast an eye at Jaune, staring at him like he was a fly in his morning cup of Earl Grey. "And what of your… counterpart? He is with you, yes?"

"He is, and I promise he won't be any trouble," Weiss assured him. "We're merely shopping for a suit so that he might impress someone. He will be under my supervision at all times."

"I see," he murmured, not sounding entirely convinced. "I don't want to hear any complaints from other citizens. Can I trust you to keep an eye on him at all times, and to make sure he won't lunge at anyone?"

"I'm not a dog, you know!" Jaune snapped.

"What did he say?" Mortimer asked Weiss.

"He said he is honoured to walk among the elite, and that he will be on his best behaviour," Weiss translated.

Jaune glared at her, promising to save his insults for when they got inside.

"Ah, I see," Mortimer said. "You understand the common tongue well, Ms Schnee. I'm still learning it myself. It will help me get rid of undesirables in a way they can understand me."

"It wasn't easy," Weiss chuckled. "In my early days at Beacon, I could barely understand what my team was saying to me. It felt like less of a school and more of a zoo."

"You're an inspiration to us all." Mortimer opened the gate, granting the two of them entrance into Vale's rich district.

In every city in Remnant, there existed a side of town that catered only to the super-rich. Without Weiss, Jaune would've never gotten in. There was no middle ground in these districts. You were either loaded with cash, or you were - in their own words - a member of cattle-class.

The rich district was certainly different from any part of the city Jaune had seen. Cobblestones made of gold paved the streets. Children played in fountains that poured lien, splashing coins at each other. It had been overcast before they entered, but in the rich district, the sun was shining without a cloud in the sky. This was because the people here could afford to have perfect weather at all times.

"Mmm, smell that air," Weiss sighed. "Reminds me of my gardens back home. How refreshing." When she didn't hear him respond, she turned to look at him. "What's wrong?"

"Less of a school and more of a zoo, huh?" he said, repeating her own words back at her.

"Don't give me that look," she said. "I didn't mean what I said back there. I had to put on a performance so that he'd let us in."

"Whatever you say."

"Oh please, as if I need the approval of a peasant- er, person! As if I need the approval of another person. That's what I said."

He raised an eyebrow. "Smooth."

"Now remember, this district isn't like your typical streets in Vale. People here have extremely high standards, and proper etiquette is everything. Act as though you belong here, and everything will be fine."

"I know how to be polite, Weiss," he scoffed. "Just watch."

Jaune looked down the road and saw a gentleman walking by, his tailcoat fluttering behind him in the soft breeze. On his head was a large top hat, and a monocle covered one of his eyes. His cane tapped against the golden pavement as he walked.

Jaune approached him in good nature. "Afternoon, sir," he greeted. "I like your-"

The man's brow furrowed and he spat on the ground, narrowly missing Jaune's shoes.

"No, not like that," Weiss groaned. "I told you, you need to speak on their level. Like this." She walked up to the man with a smile on her face. "Good money to you, sir," she said warmly. "How are you this money?"

The disgusted look on the man's face immediately vanished. "Good money to you too, my dear," he beamed. "I'm feeling very money today. That dress looks money on you."

"Money very much, kind sir. Money."

The man tipped his hat to her and waltzed down the street. Jaune watched the whole display with a flat expression.

"You people are disgusting," Jaune deadpanned.

"Yes, we are," Weiss agreed. "Disgusting, vile, intolerable. But also rich. Very, _very_ rich."

Weiss led the way, navigating through the streets with expert ease. He didn't know how often she came here, but she knew the area like the back of her perfectly manicured hand. He could only follow as they made their way through this rich man's wonderland.

There were barely any shops to be seen, the streets were littered with mostly banks and stock exchange. So much stock exchange. How much more money did these people want? They already had enough to buy the rest of the city. He actually had to pry Weiss away from one of the bids at one point.

"But the numbers, Jaune!" she had cried. "Don't you hear them? They sing to me!"

"You're the heiress to the biggest company in the world! You have enough money!"

"But the numbers! The numbers!"

When this was all over, he swore to himself that he would forever remain middle-class.

Their destination was a giant glass building with a sign reading 'Cafran's'. For what little shops and restaurants there were in the rich district, they were all named after the owner of them. This was because the owners were the best at their craft, and as such, there was no need for extra shops of the same trade. You wanted to eat sushi, there was only one restaurant for it. Needed to buy groceries? There was only one shop.

Wanna buy a fancy suit? You had to go to Cafran's. Why go anywhere else?

Jaune felt naked staring at the suits and dresses that decorated the inside of the windows. Even from this distance, he could see the quality of them. They blew his old one out of the water. The only way he'd be able to afford one from this shop was if he sold both his arms. Even then, he'd probably still walk away with only a tie.

"Let me do the talking here," Weiss said. "Don't speak unless spoken to. Cafran does not like those who waste his time."

They crossed the street, allowing a horse carriage to pass, and entered the shop. The bell rang as they opened the door. The smell of fine leather and clean-cut tailoring greeted them when they walked in.

Cafran appeared the moment he heard the bell ring; a tall, tanned man with swept-back dark hair. He wore a deluxe suit of his own, and taking one look at him, it was hard to imagine him in anything else. The suit looked like it was fused to his very body, fitting him perfectly like a second skin. If it was true that clothes made the man, then Jaune had a feeling if he removed the suit, there'd be nothing but thin air below his head.

Cafran was beaming at first. "Welcome to Cafran's," he said in that upper-class voice everyone had here. "How may I-?"

Then he looked at who his customers were. He scowled, although for once, it wasn't aimed at Jaune.

"Oh… Ms Schnee," he droned. "How _delightful_ to see you again. What a treat."

Weiss smiled nervously. "It's good to see you again too, Cafran," she said, giving a small curtsey in the process.

"Yes, I'm sure," he said, voice laced with sarcasm. "Feel free to look around, as long as you promise not to make a mess again. In fact, perhaps you should wash your hands before you start touching anything. We wouldn't want another _incident_ to happen again, would we?"

"This again?" Weiss sighed. "Please, sir, that was a long time ago. I thought you would have forgiven me by now."

Cafran raised an eyebrow. "Forgive the girl who ruined my priceless silk dress, one of my greatest creations? You assume too much, _madam_."

"I was five years old!" Weiss cried. "It was an accident! It was my first time wearing heels, and that mud puddle appeared out of nowhere-!"

"I've heard enough," Cafran scoffed. "Now then, would you be so kind as to hurry up and find what you're looking for? It's not that I want you to go, it's just I don't want you to stay."

Weiss bit her lip to ease her frustration. "Well, lucky for you, we're not shopping for me today. This is all about him."

She pointed to Jaune.

Cafran looked at him with a curious expression. At least it wasn't a disappointed one like how he was with Weiss. "Interesting," he murmured. "And who might this be?"

"This is Jaune," Weiss said. "He's my latest… creation, I guess you could say. He needs a suit to impress someone for Beacon's upcoming dance. Only the best will do."

"Well, you've come to the right place." Cafran stared - no, _inspected_ \- Jaune. He tapped the side of his chin thoughtfully. "Speak," he commanded him.

"What do you want me to say?" Jaune asked, the first words he has spoken since entering the shop.

"Hmmm, a good voice," Cafran said. He gently brushed the sleeve of his Pumpkin Pete hoodie. "Your hoodie… I've never seen anything like it before. It is unique in the fashion industry."

"It had better be," Jaune huffed. "I sent off fifty cereal box tops for it."

Cafran nodded approvingly. "A man who fights for what he wears, I like it. How long have you owned it for?"

"About seven years now."

"It's remarkably clean."

"I don't go swimming in mud puddles."

Weiss could be heard grumbling behind him.

"Very well," Cafran said. "You have my permission to shop here, Jaune. But do keep an eye on the little heiress, if you please. Not all of us here appreciate finer clothing."

"Sir, please-" Weiss began to protest, but Cafran had already vanished, muttering to himself something about covering everything in tarp just to be safe.

Weiss looked up at Jaune who, admittedly, had a pretty smug grin on his face. "Well, don't just stand there. Try something on," she snapped.

[/]

Jaune looked at himself in the changing room mirror. Oh yeah, he looked good. He wasn't as used to wearing fancy clothes like the people here were, but the suit looked great on him. It fitted him nicely, he liked the colour, it was definitely gonna be better than whatever everyone else at the dance was wearing. Looks like he had found a winner.

Jaune stepped out of the changing room wearing suit number… however many he had tried on now. Weiss was waiting for him outside, sitting on the waiting chair and judging his every move.

Jaune spread his arms apart. "What do you think?" he asked.

Weiss' eyes scanned his body him like the world's frostiest security gate. "Hate it," she said.

Jaune sagged. "Seriously, Weiss? You've said that for every single one now. There's got to be one suit here you think looks good."

"The suit? Oh no, the suit's fine. There's nothing wrong with the suit. It's perfect."

"What? But you've been saying you hate them for the past ten minutes."

"Hmm, I have, haven't I?" she murmured. It was both reassuring and disturbing to know her behaviour was confusing to even herself.

Her eyes lit up and she snapped her fingers. "I understand now," she said. "I love the suits, I just hate them on you."

"Hey!" he cried.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it. These suits are made for public figures, nobles and businessmen. To see a peasant in one bothers me on a spiritual level."

"Did you just use the p-word again?"

Weiss flinched. "I'm sorry. Shops like this bring out the Atlas in me. I cannot control what I say."

"Oh no, that's not good enough," Jaune said, crossing his arms. "If we're gonna keep trying on suits, you gotta learn to say something nice to me."

Weiss' face scrunched up like she was trying to squeeze out the biggest shit in her life. That was an incredibly unflattering way to describe Weiss, but she had just called him a peasant. Fair's fair.

The effort was too much for her and she relented. "I can't do it," she sighed. "I look at you and see poison. We need a professional opinion."

Weiss called for Cafran, who came out sighing and rubbing his eyelids.

"What is it now?" he groaned. "Don't you dare tell me you aren't satisfied with any of these."

"We need an unbiased opinion," Weiss said. "I can't judge how these suits look on him due to reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with prejudice. How do you think Jaune looks?"

Cafran gave him a quick look-over. "I think he looks fine- wait… wait a minute… hmm, I see, I see..."

Jaune squirmed. What was it with rich people and judgemental stares? Did they have to practice in a mirror to have such a piercing gaze?

"Well, first, let's ask the important question. Do you feel like you belong in the suit, Jaune?" Cafran asked.

He thought he did, but after two staredowns, he was starting to feel a little self-conscious.

"I mean, I think so-" he began.

"Aha! That's all I needed to hear," Cafran interrupted. "You _think_ , rather than knowing. Doubt has crept into your head, and that's why you look a little out of place. It looks like the suit is wearing you, when it should be the other way round. The clothes make the man, but if the man is unsure of himself, they become just clothes."

"I know I'm not used to wearing fancy suits, but I still think I look good," Jaune said.

"There you go again, _think_. Suits are designed to impose an image. They represent the quality of their user. But one loose thread can cause the entire cloth to tear. Merely thinking rather than _believing_ you look excellent can cause the entire image to shatter. You'd be not unlike a dull duck, trying to fool everyone into thinking it's glamorous by dressing as a peacock."

Jaune never thought he'd feel insulted by being called a duck until today.

"I assume this is what you meant by the clothes not suiting him, yes, Ms Schnee?" Cafran asked Weiss.

Weiss frantically nodded. "Y-Yes, of course. It's like you read my mind." She was desperately trying to sound as humble as possible.

"Are you saying I'm hopeless then?" Jaune glumly said.

"Not at all," Cafran said. "You just need something that will work with you no matter how you're feeling. Something that will maintain your honour even when doubt creeps in. And as it just so happens, I have the perfect suit for such a situation. Something I know someone the likes _of Ms Schnee_ can easily afford."

"I'm not sure I like where this is going," Weiss murmured.

Neither did Jaune. There was a mad glint in Cafran's eyes. The same glint he saw on Ruby when she was gushing about weapons, or on Goodwitch during their sparring session that turned into a massacre.

But then again, this was a guy who made suits. It made sense for him to be proud of his craft. It was probably harmless.

Cafran disappeared out back for a few moments. When he came back, he was carrying a big black case that looked like a coffin to Jaune. A funeral suit? Was that what he was offering?

Cafran unlocked the big heavy padlocks on the sides of the case. A stream of smoke spilt out from the case as the lid was removed. Jaune swore he could hear a hissing sound the moment the case was opened.

Inside was a suit, not that he was expecting anything different. It looked just as pristine and deluxe as all the others, but there was nothing noticeably special that made it stand out.

"What you see here is my magnum opus," Cafran proudly announced. "This suit will cooperate with you through even your darkest of days, when you feel like your name has been dragged through the mud. Like the mighty General Ironwood with his army, you will command the respect of your peers. Try it on, I insist."

Jaune stared at the suit. "What if it doesn't fit?" he asked. "Don't you want my measurements?"

"There's no need," Cafran said. "You'll find this one is quite adaptable."

"What does that mean?"

"Try it on and find out."

How very vague. How could he say no to that?

Wasting no time, Jaune picked up the suit from the case and brought it to the changing room. He noted how soft and smooth it felt under his fingers. That was a good start. It'd probably feel even better once he tried it on.

His suspicions were confirmed the moment he wore the outfit in full. Oh yes. This felt and looked perfect on him. He had never worn it before, yet it felt warm and cosy, like he was wearing his beloved hoodie. The suit fitted his body perfectly and actually seemed to improve his figure. His muscles looked strangely bigger wearing it, and he found himself standing up straight without even realising it.

He looked at himself in the mirror and resisted the urge to shake his own reflections hand. That's how important he looked right now. It felt like he was born to wear this suit.

He placed his hand over the right side of his chest, listening to the gentle sound of his heart. Calm and confident. That's what he was. With this, Goodwitch would find him irresistible.

Wait a minute… wasn't the heart supposed to be on the left side of the chest?

Ah, whatever. What did he know about biology? The only thing he needed to know about the human body was how to look good in it. In that sense, mission accomplished.

He stepped out to greet his adoring audience. Weiss craned her head, looking him up and down.

"Interesting," she murmured. "I don't even dislike it. You've outdone yourself, Cafran."

"Naturally," Cafran scoffed. "How do you feel, Jaune?"

"Terrific," Jaune beamed. "I feel like a million lien… which is probably how much it costs."

"What did I tell you? This suit brings out the best in people, even if it has to dig deep inside of you to find your potential."

Jaune grinned a shit-eating- no, a _waste-consuming_ grin. He was a classy gentleman now, and classy gentlemen didn't use vulgar language, even in thought.

"Walk for us," Cafran said. "Take command in your stride. Feel like you own the earth beneath your feet."

Jaune gladly walked up and down several times in a straight line. Power radiated from him with every step he took. This must have been how the great conquerors of old felt when they laid claim to the world.

The suit felt like it was breathing with him. Everything shifted perfectly to accompany his body's movements. He was a warrior of love, and this suit was to be his armour.

"I think that will be enough," Cafran said, satisfied with what he saw.

"Agreed, that suit will do perfectly," Weiss said. "Just make sure none of the buttons come undone on the night. None of us want to see the clown hiding beneath it all."

"This thing is amazing," Jaune breathed. "I don't want to take it off. I love it."

"That's good to hear," Cafran said. "Let's hope it feels the same way."

What?

"Uh, is that suit-talk for me making sure I don't have a wardrobe malfunction?" Jaune asked.

"No, I mean let's hope it allows you to wear it," Cafran answered casually. He stared at the suit like he was a scientist conducting an experiment.

"What do you mean allows me-?"

Jaune got no further. The shirt suddenly tightened around his chest and squeezed the air out of him. Jaune dropped to his knees, completely caught off guard by the sudden attack. He tried to move his limbs, but the clothes squeezed so tight that his arms were pinned to his side.

What the hell was happening? Did he suddenly get fat in a matter of seconds? The suit that once fit him perfectly now felt like he was trying to squeeze into clothes for toddlers.

"Jaune!" Weiss cried out. "What's happening to him?"

"I told you, the suit is one of a kind," Cafran said gleefully. "It doesn't just let _anyone_ wear it. You have to earn that right."

Jaune watched in horror as the tie around his neck sprang to life. The tip of it turned around to look at him. It shuddered, reared its head back, and spat at him like it was a snake.

"Get… it… off…" Jaune struggled out.

"If I do pry it off you, you'll never be able to wear it again. It won't respect you," Cafran said.

"Don't care… want air…" Jaune wheezed.

"Air is what everyone else has. You don't want to be like everyone else. You want to be special. You want to _look_ special. This suit will allow you to do that and more, but only if you prove your worth."

Jaune tried prying open the shirt buttons with his teeth. Moving them was like trying to move boulders.

"You need to focus," Cafran said. "Think about how good you looked and felt a few moments ago. Think about how good you look now. Imagine if you could feel that way long-term. Wouldn't that be glorious?"

The tie spat at him again.

"As insane as this sounds, Cafran has a point," Weiss said. "Even now, you still look sharp in that suit, Jaune. It would be a shame to discard it now."

Jaune spoke through gritted teeth. "I… I don't think-"

The tie yanked itself forward, making his head smack against the floor.

"Another doubt," Cafran tutted. "I might be forgiving of them, but this suit? Not so much. You need proof." He knelt down and pulled out a pocket mirror. "Tell me that the suit's not becoming on you, even now with your life slipping away."

Jaune looked at his reflection. Perhaps it was the lack of blood flowing to his head, but he could see where Weiss and Cafran were coming from. Even with his blue face and crumpled body, he still felt like the snazziest guy in the room. This suit really was a miracle worker.

"Looking… hot…" he choked.

"Exactly," Cafran said. "If that's how you look like now, imagine how you will look with control over your body. Everyone will be on their knees before you, much like how you are right now."

Such genius logic was impossible to argue against.

"What must he do?" Weiss asked.

"He must speak his intentions truthfully," Cafran stated. "This suit does not appreciate those who waste its time on droll affairs. It takes someone with a purpose to command it, someone who would wear it for something truly unique. If it finds your proposal acceptable, it will allow you to wear it."

"And… if not?" Jaune wheezed.

Cafran shrugged. "Then you will have to buy something else."

Jaune gasped, not from strangulation, but from terror. Not that! Anything but that!

He glared at the tie swaying menacingly in front of his face. This suit was too valuable to pass up. He was gonna have to step up and be a man if he wanted to own it.

He felt the shirt loosen on him slightly, allowing him to breathe. The tie hovered patiently before him. It wanted an answer.

Jaune had never been one for speaking the truth. Lying had gotten him this far already. But now, the truth was all that mattered. And it was the truth that left his lips.

"I will use you… for the upcoming Beacon Ball," he said nobly. "Together, we will turn heads, raise the roof, and look slick while doing it. But most of all… we will seduce my hot older teacher, who's age I'm still unsure about!"

Jaune awaited his fate without fear. He had made his intentions clear. What happened next was up to the Gods.

The tie quivered a few times… then relaxed and sheathed itself back into its normal position. The shirt stopped trying to squeeze him dry, giving his lungs and ribs much-needed relief. His body was his own again.

"The contract is sealed," Cafran whispered approvingly. "It has judged your intentions as righteous and pure. You have been chosen."

Jaune smiled and rose from the ground as a new man. With the power of his sick outfit, Goodwitch would be putty in his hands.

" _That's_ what it finds pure?" Weiss grunted. "What a perverted suit."

[/]

Jaune felt strange in his normal clothes again. Wearing casual gear after wearing such perfection was hard, like getting out of bed when you reeaallly didn't wanna go to school in the morning. He couldn't wait to wear the suit again.

Speaking of the suit, they didn't need to carry it around with them. After Weiss had paid for it, he asked Cafran if it could be delivered to Beacon. Cafran had smiled and told him not to worry. It would find him when the time was right.

"Guess that takes care of that," Jaune said. "I take it we're going back to Beacon now? Maybe we could get some lunch here before we leave? I wanna know what rich people food tastes like."

"Don't get ahead of yourself, our business here isn't finished yet," Weiss said. "There's one last thing we've got to take care of first."

"What's that?"

Weiss reached up and pulled one of his long locks down before his eyes. "This," she clarified. "Explain this!"

Jaune winced. "Explain what? It's my hair, which you're kinda tugging a little hard now!"

"You expect to approach Goodwitch looking like this?" Weiss said. "At least Yang _tries_ to comb her mane. You look like you use a wind turbine as a hairdryer!"

Jaune slapped her hand away. "Who cares? You saw how I looked in that suit. Goodwitch's not gonna notice my hair."

"And what's going to happen when you take off the suit, hm? When she realises that beneath that shiny exterior is still a bumbling boy? Do you still think she'll be as mesmerised?"

Jaune said nothing. She had a point. That suit was basically a male version of makeup. Take it away, and the truth is revealed.

"Exactly," Weiss said. "We've only solved half of the puzzle. That suit is a good appetizer, but we need something that keeps her sticking around for the main course. We need to tidy you up, make you look like a mature man with and without the suit."

"Oooh, it's like a makeover-"

Weiss quickly clamped her hand over his mouth. "Don't say that word," she hissed. "Yang and Nora might hear you. The last thing we need is them on this."

"Fine," he said when she removed her hand. "So, know anywhere that can doll me up?"

"As it just so happens, I do. I've thought of everything today. Right this way."

Weiss lead him through the streets until they approached another lavish-looking shop named Valentina's. A hair salon. Growing up with loads of sisters, he was no stranger to places like this. If they ever heard he was going to a fancy one like this, they'd be green with envy.

They stepped inside. The white marble floor contrasted well with the pitch-black walls. A chandelier hung from the ceiling because every rich person needed to own a chandelier. There were sinks. A lot of sinks. If it weren't for the throne-like chairs next to them, this place could've doubled as kitchen.

The two of them waited a few minutes before Weiss rang the bell on the counter.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming!" screamed an elderly voice from the back

A few seconds later, a tiny hunchbacked old woman dressed in rags wobbled her way over to them, her walking stick clattered loudly against the floor. She had a face like a witch out of a fairy tale; warts, a long crooked nose, teeth that looked like mini stalactites in her mouth. Hanging down her face was silvery hair that looked like spiders legs.

Jaune tried to keep his face as neutral as possible, but it was hard to hide his shock. Was this Valentina? She looked as misplaced as he did here. How was she going to freshen him up when she looked like she only recently rose from the dead?

"Miss Valentina, it is a pleasure to see you again," Weiss said.

Valentina raised a bony hand to her ear. "What was that?" she rasped.

"I said, it's a pleasure to see you again."

"I can't hear you! Speak up!"

"I SAID, IT'S A PLEASURE-"

"Alright, alright, no need to shout!" Valentina snapped, bonking her on the head with her stick. "And whaddya mean 'again'? Do I know you?"

"M-Madam, it's me. Weiss Schnee," Weiss said. "You stylised my family's hair for years."

Valentina blinked the crust out of her eyes. "Ah, yes, Schnee" she said. "I thought I smelt money walk in. A nose knows." She snorted loudly to prove her point.

"Y-Yes, quite," Weiss grimaced.

"So, whaddya want?" Valentina barked. "Hang on, what the hell is that ponytail you have right now? I know I didn't style that shit! Why's it all off-centred?"

"Um, well, it's more of an act of defiance than a hair goal," Weiss said. "To prove to my father that I'm not something he can control, I wear it this way as a way of demonstrating my freedom."

Valentina cackled. "What kind of pussy-ass example of teenage rebellion is that? Oh, I've missed you Schnees! Haven't had a laugh like that in years!"

Weiss' eye twitched. "Anyway," she said through forced politeness, "we're not here for me today. We're here because we need you to fix my friend here."

Aww, he and Weiss were friends.

"You're friend- oh!" Valentina's eyes widened when she saw him. "You brought a man? Well, why didn't you just say that? Gimme a second to freshen up."

Valentina hobbled her way towards one of the sinks. She turned on the taps and threw some water on her face. When she was done, she turned back to look at them.

Jaune's jaw nearly hit the floor. That water must've been from the fountain of youth because Valentina's appearance just did a complete one-eighty. The old hag was gone, and in her place was the most gorgeous woman Jaune had ever seen. Rich, wavy brown hair cascaded down her face like a river. Her blue eyes shone like clear pools. She was now as tall as him, wearing a tight black dress that hugged her perfect hourglass figure.

Her smile made him feel like his chest was filled with helium. "Now then," she purred with a voice like honey. "Why don't we start again? My name is Valentina. And who are you?"

Jaune gulped. How was this possible? She had just gone from 'nursing home' to 'hello, nurse!' "J-Jaune, my name is Jaune!" he stammered.

He nearly fainted from the sound of her giggle. She swayed over to him and took his face in her warm hands. Her creamy face was free from the warts that had littered her previous one. That crooked nose had shrunk into a smaller, softer one. Forget turning heads, this woman could make people's heads spin around until they flew off their necks.

"You have the most adorable stutter, has anyone ever told you that?" she said, pressing her body against his. Personal space was not a concept to her, something he was both grateful and terrified for.

He was so damn nervous, he couldn't even attempt a pickup line. "T-They've noticed alright, but they don't find it that cute," he squeaked.

"That's their loss then," she said, running a hand through his hair. "But then again, that leaves more of you for me."

 _Remember what she looked like before, Jaune! You only have eyes for Goodwitch! You're a one-woman man, damn it!_

"Alright, enough of that!" Weiss snapped, coming in between them. "Gods, you haven't changed a bit! This is exactly like when you did my brother's hair!"

Valentina smiled at her. "There, there, my dear. I was only having a little fun. There's no need to get so worked up."

"Can you try to be professional for five seconds? I'm not paying you to flirt with him! If I wanted that, I would've taken him to a bordello!"

"Oh, honey, no one calls them that anymore," Valentina tutted. "You've been without love for a while now, haven't you? Not surprising, given that frosty demeanour of yours."

"Just give him a haircut and then will be done!"

"As you say." She pulled Jaune by the arm. "Why don't we go somewhere more private, Jaune? You know what they say about three being a crowd. Especially when they're as loud as her."

Weiss huffed and sat down in the waiting chair. Meanwhile, Jaune was dragged away into the backroom. The thought of being alone with Valentina excited him in a terrifying sort of way.

The backroom had the same chair and sink that was in the foyer, although soft music could be heard playing overhead. The air smelled like roses.

Valentina sat him down in the chair and put a sheet over him. She leaned down, draping her arms down past his neck. "So then, now that I have you all to myself, what's it going to be?" she whispered, her lips dangerously close to his ear. "Tell me your desires. I'll make them all come true."

Jaune took a deep breath. "There's someone I need to impress for the upcoming dance at Beacon," he said.

"Don't tell me. It's a girl, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"I should have guessed. It's only natural that such a handsome young man like you has already been claimed. I'll try not to feel jealous."

"Actually, we're not even dating yet. That's why I need to impress her. We're close, but I want something more."

"Oooh, even better," she said soothingly, tracing a finger under his chin. "There's nothing more romantic than the thrill of the chase. I promise, when I'm done with you, you'll look irresistible to her… well, her and just about everyone else you set your eyes on."

"That's great. See, I need something mature but stylish. What I'm thinking about is-"

She silenced him by pressing a finger to his lips. "Upupup. Don't you worry your adorable little head with the details. Just relax and let me do all the work."

Her arms pulled him back into the chair. He felt ensnared by her, like he was trapped in the vines of a rose. Beautiful to behold, but he was one thorn away from getting himself hurt.

She delicately held a strand of his hair in one hand, and a pair of scissors in the other. "This is the part where you close your eyes," she soothed. "Just let go, and imagine yourself in the arms of your lover. Focus on her voice, her smell, her touch. Lose yourself in her majesty."

He did as she commanded.

 _Snip_

"And we're done," she said. "You can open your eyes now."

What? Already?

He opened his eyes and sure enough, she was right. His hair was completely different. His once messy locks had been parted in an elegant, wavy style, making each strand look much more defined rather than simply blending in with the rest of his hair. It was the kind of style he'd expect to see on an Atlesian upper-class gentleman, and was certainly not one he'd expect to look good on him. Until today.

But it wasn't just the hair on the top of his head that had changed. He had somehow in the span of a second grown a light stubble around his face, giving him and manly but neat look about him. Call him vain, but he looked like a goddamn heartthrob!

"What the- what?" he cried. "How did you do that?"

She giggled. "That's a trade secret, I'm afraid. Though if you keep visiting me, perhaps I can share it with you one day. What do you think? I take it it's to your liking?"

"To my liking? I've only seen this look on guys who've been under the edit filter for ten hours! I never thought I could look like this! This is everything I could've asked for!"

Valentina shrugged oh-so innocently. "What can I say? I always know how to leave someone feeling… satisfied…"

"See, look at that!" he exclaimed. "I can even take innuendos at face-value now! You see me blushing? Nope! This is the best!"

"My, my, you're quite the eager-beaver now, aren't you?" she laughed. "Your enthusiasm is positively infectious. When your lucky lady gets one look at you, you better get ready to catch her when she swoons."

There was no doubt about that. Goodwitch would no longer see him as just another school kid. She was gonna see him for the man he truly was.

"I don't know how I can ever repay you for this," Jaune said. "Oh, wait a minute, what am I saying? Of course, I do. Let's go get Weiss. She's the one with the millions."

They went back to the foyer. Weiss was waiting for them, leaning against the door. She hadn't bothered sitting down. She must've known how long this would take.

"Now then, if you're quite done-" she began.

Her snippy remark died the moment she took one look at Jaune. Soft blue eyes locked with icy ones. Silence echoed between them.

"Ta-da!" Jaune said, giving his hands a little wave. "Whaddya think? Don't I look great?"

Weiss blinked slowly, then quickly bowed her head, eyes glaring at the ground. A fierce scowl etched her face. "You did a good job," Weiss murmured to Valentina.

"Of course, I did!" Valentina barked. Jaune turned around and saw that she was back to her haggy old self again. "What, you think I need your approval on how to do my job? I don't need no squawking buzzard telling me when I've done good! Chirp your beak somewhere else, just pay me already!"

Weiss shuffled her way over to her and handed her a bunch of cash, making sure she avoided looking at Jaune at all times.

Valentina grinned wickedly at the lien in her hands. "This is the best way for you Schnees to thank someone- you put your money where your mouth is!"

She took a big sniff of the paper, running her nostrils across it. Her eyelids fluttered dreamily.

"We'll give you some privacy," Jaune said, ushering Weiss out the door. "Thanks for the fix-up!" he called back to her. "I swear to be an absolute playa from now on!"

Jaune and Weiss had accomplished much today. They had bought a killer suit, both figuratively and literally speaking, and given him a swanky new do. It was time for them to go home.

Jaune was buzzing as they walked down the street. "I can't get over how good I look!" he sang. "I feel like I can start pointing finger-guns at girls and be accepted for it. I'm gonna have random strangers ask me to pose in pics for them, I just know it!"

"You look impressive," Weiss muttered, eyes still glued to the ground. She was following behind him, keeping a good distance between them both.

"Goodwitch's gonna be all over me when she sees all this. I reckon her glasses will steam up when she gets one look at me. What kind of romantic do you think she is? Will she start blushing or stuttering, or does that not seem like something she'd do?"

"Who knows?"

Something was wrong. Weiss was never this short with her words. She was usually cattier. Jaune stopped and looked back at her. "Uh, Weiss? Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No. Why would something be wrong?" she mumbled.

"Well, you're not even looking at me. I've got this new look, and you're just staring at the ground."

"Maybe I like the ground? Maybe I'm admiring the cobblestones?" She started tapping her foot against the golden pavement. "Yes, that is very good ground…"

Jaune wasn't convinced. "Weiss, look at me," he said.

"I don't want to," she retorted. "I've been looking at you all day. I want to look at something else."

"Just for five seconds. Come on, pleeease?"

With a sigh, Weiss slowly raised her head. Yep, something was definitely different. She was frowning, which was something she did a lot in his presence, but her frowns never looked this nervous. Even though she had her head raised, she was still struggling to meet his eyes. And she was blushing. With her red face and white outfit, she looked like a walking thermometer.

Jaune could be dense. He admitted that. But even he knew how to put two and two together.

"No way!" he gasped.

Weiss huffed and crossed her arms, turning her head to the side. "Don't start getting the wrong idea."

"You think I'm hot too!" Jaune cheered.

"I most certainly do not!" she snapped.

"You're attracted to me!"

"Never in my life!"

"Riiiiiight. Then why are you blushing and acting all fidgety?"

"It's a physical reaction, nothing more. I still know you for the idiot you are, despite your - purely objectively speaking - handsome face."

Jaune clapped his hands. "Handsome! You said handsome just now! That's what you called me!"

"I said, objectively speaking!"

Jaune was so happy he felt like dancing in the streets, leaving Weiss to hide her embarrassed reaction in her hands. This was like a dream come true. If his charming new visage was enough to melt even the ice queen herself, Goodwitch didn't stand a chance.

"You know, Weiss, I'm flattered. Truly," he said, his voice the very definition of modest. He had to break her down gently after all. "Back in the day, I might have returned your advances. Alas, I'm spoken for. I hope we can still be friends."

"Hold your breath and suffocate yourself!" Weiss growled.

"Denial is the first step towards acceptance," Jaune winked. "Face it, Weiss Queen. You got a burning case of Arc fever! I don't blame you, it's nothing to be ashamed about."

Weiss' expression perked up. "Oh, keep doing that!" she said eagerly.

"What's the matter? Can't get enough of my voice either?"

"No. It's just the more you talk, the less attractive you become." Her frown was replaced by an expression of pure bliss. "I can already feel myself being repulsed by you again. What a wonderful sensation."

Jaune blew a raspberry at her.

* * *

 **It hasn't been a year since I last updated this, so that means I'm not a bad person. At least, not for that reason.**

 **Jaune now has acquired some fancy new duds, as well as a swanky new haircut. Will it be enough to seduce Goodwitch? Can she see him for the man he truly is? How long will it be until Imyoshi breaks the word-count limit in his reviews?**

 **Find out next time on Exxxtra Credit.**


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